Why She Stayed (xxxtentacion)

X.16

I decided to go to beach, I hadn't seen the ocean in so long that I had almost forgotten we had one.

X had sent me a message through Tumblr that he and some of his friends were going today as a celebration of his music success.

I told him I was going too but that I wouldn't bother him as much since my mom would be coming too.

She had left momentarily to go use the restroom so I took that as a way to check my phone for any messages.

But I didn't have any.

Sighing, I stared off into the ocean when someone stood in front of me.

"I know you." A man said.

I stared up at him, wondering how he even knew I was hiding here. "No," I told him, something about him looked awfully familiar.

He laughs. "Ey, you're that girl...that girl who saved my boy's ass."

My heart stops.

How did he know about that? I don't press him for answers though and instead continue to look out into the ocean. "He was right about you." The guy says. 

I look over to him as he takes a sip of whatever is in his cup not sure what he means by that. Still looking at me he lowers the cup from his lips. 

"You have that innocence." He remarks.

I become mute suddenly. "Maybe you could somehow get to him..." He trails off.

Him?

I don't ask. 

The man I'm with clears his throat when someone else approached us. "Aye, yo Rocky, who dis chick?"

The man-Rocky looks away from me and to the guy. "Ski this is..."He trailed off turning his head to look at me.

I realize he's waiting for me to say my name. "Flor," I say.

"Floor?" Ski gives me the that's one weird ass name look.

"Flor," I repeat.

"Ford?" Rocky repeats, confused.

I shake my head. "Florrrr." I roll my tongue emphasizing the r.

"Flower." Another voice says.

I look up trying to identify the sound of the voice, I glance through the group until my eyes meet the stranger behind the voice. But this, this person was no stranger, even I knew that much. "Ey, X." Rocky nods his direction.

I swallow, he smirks at me. "Isn't that what your name means?"

I slowly nod. "Flor is my friend," Rocky announced.

"What? Since when?" Ski said aloud what I was thinking.

"Since today so yall better treat her with respect, aight." For some reason, he kept his eyes trained on X when he said. "No funny shit either."

X shrugs and heads over to Ski whose checking out a few girls by the water. It was quiet between me and Rocky I wasn't sure what to say or what conversation to think up but I knew I was highly aware of the awkwardness around us. 

"That necklace." Rocky says. I wasn't so sure what he was talking about until I turned to look at him, his eyes were on me, well my neck. I lift my hand to my chest, gripping the necklace X gave me. I quickly turned to look at him and saw he was wearing the red beaded bracelet I gave him too, something about it made my heart flutter. "He'd never give that away."

My eyes return to Rocky whose looking back at the ocean. "You must be special." I shook my head assuring him otherwise but he laughs. "That dumb ass." Rocky shook his head, taking another sip of his drink. 

"Don't loose faith in my boy." He mumbles. My eyes wander over to X whose staring at the water now instead of the girls. Something about the way he stared off into the water made him look so sad and alone. 

My heart clenched, I placed a hand over my chest looking at him. "I wouldn't." I tell Rocky while I watched X. 

I was fine being whatever I was to X, even if I wasn't someone he could come to love...someone he could come to care for like his girlfriend. I was okay with that because for the first time in my life I was becoming whole, the emptiness no longer scared me. 

I had a friend, a friend I loved a lover I wanted but a friend I needed. That's who X was to me. 

Rocky stood back up. Checking his phone. "I have to go." He tells me. "We'll talk later Florrrr," Rocky emphasized the r on purpose before heading back over to the group of guys letting them know he was leaving. 

My mom came back too, I averted my eyes and focused on the beach but she had caught me. "Mija, don't fall for boys like that." She begins. I sighed already knowing the recited speech awaiting me. "Guys like that will only break your heart." She warns.

-tbc-