Why She Stayed (xxxtentacion)

X.44

I kept my eyes steady ahead of me as I entered the building.

Everything was loud, full of noise and beautiful people. I'd never been to a club before but here I was, standing off to the side of the entrance searching the crowds. I knew he was here Rocky told me he's been going out more since he was out.

Said it was his way to keep his mind off things.

Hugging myself I stared at the crowd with a mix of sadness and hope. The thought of seeing X again made me happy but at the same time I knew not to expect anything.

I wasn't.

I pushed my way through the crowd of people finding an opening near the bar, a soft beat was playing through the club, girls everywhere were showing off with what little clothes they had there best dance moves.

I felt so insecure looking at them now.

It's going to be okay, be strong.

I could already feel the surge of memories but I repress them in fear of tearing up.

I won't cry in front of him... I can't.

Everyone was submersed in a crowd of smoke as it grew more and more crowded in the club as more people filed in. I stared up at the strobe lights, watching as they changed from pink to blue to green and various other colors in a rapid pattern.

Somehow I felt someone watching me and that's when I lowered my eyes.

And there standing in the mix of dancing bodies was X.

I felt butterflies in the pits of my stomach, my heart skipped a beat and my cheeks blushed.

He stalked over to me, walking slowly closing the distance as he eyed me from head to toe. At first he looked confused as to why I was here but slowly his eyes lingered over my lips, and his expression changed.

He was here. The person I loved was just a few feet from me, the guy who gave me so much and took so little. Who loved me unconditionally without wanting anything in return as long as I loved him back and never betrayed him...

With trembling hands I smoothed out my dress and took a step towards him too. There was an anxious spark in his eye as if he was watching something oddly beautiful. We stood in the middle of the crowd of dancing bodies just staring at each other wanting to say something but nothing left our lips.

I kept feeling my heart race to the point where it was going to burst. He didn't look away or break contact instead he continued to look at me with the same confused expression.

A couple dancing behind me get's a little too into the beat that they end up shoving me forward and X catches me in his arms, pulling me into those safe warm arms as my face nuzzled into his chest. He caught my hand and laced our fingers together as his other hand dropped to my lower waist.

We swayed to the beat of the music in silence as he rested his head on my shoulder.

I thought he'd push me away, or anger would take over his features but when I raised my head and looked into his eyes what stared back at me now were eyes full of longing and love...

And then he did the unexpected.

Grabbing my head between his hands, he stares with wide, terrified, brown eyes into mine. I sag against him, suddenly overwhelmed with relief and fatigue. In his arms there is no place I'd rather be.

"Is this a dream?" He asks, desperate.

His question confuses me but before I can say anything he cuts me off. "You only look at me with those eyes in my dreams." His voice wanes.