Why She Stayed (xxxtentacion)

X.29

I was reading a book in my room while listening to X's music with headphones, deeply invested in the plot of the story I hadn't noticed the half naked man or should I say boyfriend crawling through my window. 

I heard a soft thud sound but paid no attention to it and instead kept my eyes on the story. I was humming along to the lyrics when I felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around me. I turned my head slightly and caught sight of his dreads. "What are you doing here?" I ask not at all surprised by a boy being in my bedroom. 

He shrugs and playfully tickles me. I gasp and squirm in his hold turning around in attempt to get back at him for doing that but instead he pins me to the ground hovering above me. He's staring at my lips and on instinct I lick them, "Is your mom home?" He asks. 

I swallow, shaking my head no. I was about to ask him why but instead he crushed his lips to mine. 

+++

"Okay Flor," X calmly says. "This is normal stuff, things couples do." He recites. "So don't be afraid." 

I nod my head slightly, my back still facing him. "My mom is coming back in half hour." I tell him. 

I hear him laugh. "Five minutes is all we need." 

I flinch. "Eh?" 

"Just tell me when your ready." He mumbles, shifting behind me. 

I nod, "Okay but close your eyes." I whisper feeling my cheeks blush. 

"I will." He whispers back. 

I swallow and gather up as much courage as I can possible. X was right, this was normal couple stuff, and besides I don't see anyone else but him doing this with me. It just felt right, we were already a month into dating. 

I wasn't sure how the time line worked but I could feel it in my heart that he was the one. The one and only person I wanted to love for the rest of my life. And with that I unbuttoned my shirt one by one, slipping it past my shoulders until I was less concealed.

Okay this is fine, completely normal. 

I shift over the mattress and turn my body until it's facing his, like me too he's sitting on the bed, except his eyes are shut closed. His bare chest is exposed and he's wearing only his boxers. I lick my lips, my hand slightly reaches out for him grazing his chest, loving the way his abs feel against the skin of my fingers. 

I hear his quick intake of breath, his body tensing in momentary restraint before I see his lips spread into a smile and then his eyes flash open, the lust, passion, and strong desire in them cause me to gasp, my hand stops in place as I watch him.

"Flor I thought you'd be naked." he laughs, and in a swift motion, his hands have lifted my tank top over my head leaving me in my bra. 

I gasp, my hands covering my chest, X reaches for me though, removing my hand one by one his eyes landing on my chest. 

I have only a moment to see the fire in his eyes before his lips are on mine. I drown in the intensity of the kiss, his complete dominance of my senses as he uses his mouth to own each and every sound he coaxes from me while his hands skim over the bare flesh of my skin. "Don't be scared." he whispers between kisses. 

I only nod in response and grip the covers underneath me as he presses me against the bed with his body. His hand is on my back unclasping my bra and sliding them off my arms until they hit the floor somewhere. 

He breaks the kiss, his eyes roam from my face down to my chest until they land on my breasts. I squirm underneath him trying to cover myself but he shakes his head. "You really are so pure." He murmurs. 

He lifts a hand to me and his fingers graze across my rib cage to my chest, and I can't help but freeze when he cups both of my breasts. That's when the reality of it all hits me, and I'm so unsure of what to do at the moment. "Jahseh..."

He brings his lips to my ear, where his heated breath warms my skin. "You are so fucking beautiful, Flor." He flicks his thumbs over my hard nipples, causing me to gasp from the sensation. 

He presses a soft kiss to the space just below my ear as the emotion and meaning behind his words hit me like a wave crashing ashore. My eyes well with tears but I don't have a chance to comprehend anything else because X closes his mouth over one of my nipples and sucks. 

A moan escapes my lips as this new found sensation ripples through my body and exposes parts of me that his eyes absorb and his fingers brush through. 

Emotions tackle me from every angle as I grasp the covers with my hands to the point where my knuckles turn white. I try desperately to relieve the ache he's adding to with his alternating sucks and scrapes of teeth. "Tell me to stop, Flor" he murmurs to me, followed by a satisfied grown in the back of his throat.

He takes his time enjoying my breasts, all the while removing my shorts, and leaving me only in panties. "Jahseh." I groan against his ear. 

He begins to kiss his way down my abdomen as I feel the feather light touch of his fingertips skimming from my knee up the inside line of my thigh. His fingers finally settling just on the inside of my thigh. His hand was so close to my core that I couldn't stop the little moan that escaped my lips.

X traced his fingertips across my leg, making me whimper. I wanted him so badly but I just couldn't, not yet. "Don't, X," I begged. I said the words but I moved my hips unconsciously, trying to get closer against him. 

"Flor?" X mumbles against my lips. "I won't take it from you..." He pauses letting the words sink in. "Not yet, not until your sure." 

My eyes widen. "I won't take it from you." He whispers again. 

"But-" I begin to protest when he plants a kiss on my lips to seal the deal. 

"I'll do something else." He says with a grin. 

His hand that parts my legs slowly reaches up for my panties, slowly I feel one of his fingers glide down me and slide back and forth once, then twice, before he pulls back. I'm breathing hard now as he looks me in the eyes. His fingers enter once more softly gliding against me down there and I weave my fingers in his hair, a gentle way to tell him when the sensations are just too much. 

And there is something so raw and real in the moment as his eyes look deep into mine. I can feel my heart race and on instinct I press the palm of my hand against his chest, his heart was beating just as fast if not faster. "Don't stop." I whisper and let out a moan. 

He's so gentle with me, careful not to enter me just sort of glide his finger through the sensitive areas. I begin to tremble as the first strains of my orgasm begin to pulse through me. That's what it must be, at least that's what they call it and all the while I'm losing all resolve X is watching me biting down on his lip, eyes full of love and aw. 

I cry out when it hits me full force, lost to him and the moment because this was an emotional offering of my heart. And that's when he presses his lips against mine, a kiss so real and full of emotion it puts me to tears. 

And when he pulls away from me he says. "Flor I think I'm in love with you." And only then does my heart give way and the tears fall down my face, he wraps his arms around me and I do too and I swear in that moment I felt things in my heart that I knew I'd never be able to feel with someone else. 

-tbc-