Why She Stayed (xxxtentacion)

X.39

"Your still that sweet innocent girl Flor." Mom reminds me again, my eyes don't meet her gaze as I stare at the walls in the room. 

I'm too tired to speak I just feel this pressure deep in my heart and for some reason I know that it's because I feel so uneasy. I shut my eyes closed and for the third time since being at the hospital I drift off to sleep. 

Or at least I try to. 

And when I dream X is always in them, holding me, kissing me, protecting me. And we're so happy that I know I need to hold onto him while I still can. When I finally come to my mom's beside me and so is Megan. 

"Hey girly." She smiles at me. 

I don't have the strength to smile. 

"How you feeling?" Megan asks. 

I scan the room again but the person I want to see most isn't here. "Where is he?" My voice sounds hoarse. 

Megan stays quiet looking away from me to my heart monitor, no one answers. I start to panic and my heart starts to race. "I want to see him." I whisper. 

Mom tried to reason with me and explain what happened but I didn't want to hear excuses. I needed X, I wanted to be in his arms now more than ever where I felt safe. "He isn't coming." My mom says cold. 

I look at her now. "Why?" The tears prickle my eyes. 

Megan suddenly grows pale and I hear my mother clear her throat. "He just didn't want to." 

I scoff, my vision blurring. "Your lying, where is he?" I demand. "X!" I shout but my voice is barely audible. My mom puts a hand on my shoulder and shakes her head, the serious look on her face sends a shiver down my spine. 

"I don't believe you." My voice cracks, the pain in my words clearly visible. 

"I'm sorry Flor...I tried to warn you about boys like him." The tears that were prickling my eyes now fall down my cheeks. 

"He loves me." I say aloud. 

What can I say? I was confused, hurt, and my state of mind then wasn't healthy. I couldn't see behind the lies my mother spoke. She always hated X from the moment she laid eyes on him, she deemed him unfit as a man. Hated his guts without giving him the benefit of the doubt. And because of him I was able to get back into modeling, able to be me again and she blames all that happened to me on X. 

How was I supposed to know that X had been waiting for me in the waiting room, when my mother came. 

"You need to leave." She states bluntly. 

X looks up from his seat at her, he instantly recognizes her as Flor's mom. His eyes wander over behind her to the security, wondering why they would be here. "Didn't you hear me?" Her voice rises. 

"I'm here to see Flor." He says as to clear the confusion. 

My mom takes a step closer to him and slaps him on the cheek. "Don't." Her voice is full of anger and hate. "You've done enough." 

X looks up at her confused, his eyebrows arch and he rises from his seat. "Stay away from her you freak."

X shakes his head, "No." 

My mom takes up the challenge and with a smile on her face she hurts the person I love the most. "She doesn't want to see you." 

"What-" He looks confused, his eyes searching my mother's.   

"You couldn't protect her." Her words sting like venom. 

And with that my mother turns on her heel, walking further away from him as the security stands there waiting for X to make a move but he's too much in shock to say anything much less move. 

His head snaps up, eyes looking after where my mother had gone and he lunges between the security but they already have an arm on either side of him pulling him back. "Flor!" X shouts as he's being dragged away. 

His heart was hurting and so was mine, both believing lies that managed to put a wound in our hearts. "You promised." His voice chokes as he continues to push against the security as he's being dragged away. 

"I'll never leave you." 

Megan who witnessed all this has a hand over her mouth holding back a sob. 

And now as she recalls all this her eyes look straight at Flor, somewhere deep down in her heart Megan felt that maybe she was protecting Flor from another pain, so with a sad smile on her lips she says. "It's true." 

And with my hands on my face I burst into tears. 

-tbc-