Why She Stayed (xxxtentacion)

X.59

-beware feels ahead-

If someone could have told me how painful love could be, how much it hurt and how much life it took from you then I would have never fallen so helplessly in love. I never would've confined in another heart if it meant I would have given him mine wholeheartedly. 

I was conflicted. 

Confused on what to do or how to proceed with X. 

I could only come up with one solution. 

I was going to confess my feelings to him today, I was going to give him one last chance. 

Which was why I wore a dress today, light make up and let my long black hair fall loose. I stared at myself in the mirror and that's when I remember those days I thought of myself as ugly. I cursed this beauty because of my past...but now I was starting to embrace it once more. 

I had to be strong. 

My hands trembled as I reached for the door knob to my room but I took a deep breath and waited outside in the hallway as I gathered some strength. "What are you doing?" 

I gasped turning around to see Rocky staring at me. "Hi." I mumble hiding the blush in my cheeks. 

He smirks. "You still as cute." He compliments. 

I shook my head. "Where you headed?" He asks. 

I stared at him out of habit, "I wanted to speak to X." I say. 

His eyes widen. "Oh, um he's not here." 

I was confused by his response. "He's playing billiards's." 

I nodded. "I'll go talk to him then. Thanks." I mutter and start to head down the hallway when Rocky's voice stops me. 

"Hey Flor?" 

I turn halfway. "Yeah?" 

He paused before speaking, watching me with sad eyes. "Don't believe everything you hear." 

He gives me one last smile before turning around to leave. 

+++

I arrived at the room full of games and pool tables, one of them was where X was playing with Ski. Ski was the first to see me when I approached, he played it cool at first. Excusing himself before leaving me and X all alone in the room. 

"Ey where you going punk?" X trailed off as he locked eyes with me. 

For a moment I could see a flash of warmth in his eyes as he looked at me but it only lasted for a second before those cold eyes were back to looking at me. "I never knew you played." I'm the first to speak up as I walk around the table to his side. 

I don't close the gap and keep a safe distance instead. "Your just good at everything aren't you?" I continue as my eyes flicker across the table. 

"You never were afraid to do anything." I say. "I always loved that about you. How fearless you were, how safe I felt beside you..." I paused. 

"Flor let's not-" I shake my head, not letting him speak. 

"We have to." I say. "It's time we talk about what happened." 

His eyes widen when I meet his eyes with fierce determination. "You keep avoiding me, avoiding the subject as a whole...but I haven't forgotten. Not a day goes by that I haven't gotten that day out of my head." I whisper. 

He set's down his drink, avoiding my eyes as he stares at the wall. "Look at me." I say. My hands were trembling again. "Please." I beg. 

He shook his head, fists clenched at his sides. "I can't."