Why She Stayed (xxxtentacion)

X.18

I couldn't concentrate.

Nothing I did could keep my mind in place.

It always wandered off to that day where everything seemed like a dream. It surely had felt like one, I had to pinch my cheeks to make sure I wasn't dreaming. But I couldn't fall asleep that night.

I watched him instead, as he slept with an around me, he looked so peaceful in his sleep. I wondered what he was dreaming about and then blushed when I realized he might be dreaming about me after his sudden confession. I thought he'd fallen asleep but he opened his eyes catching me staring. I panicked not knowing what to do with myself and instead squeezed my eyes closed.

I heard him laugh lightly, this time wrapping his other arm around me he rests his chin on the crown of my head. "Go to sleep." He nags.

I scowled but took the liberty of holding him, wrapping my arms around him I bury my face into his chest and closed my eyes. It took a while but I finally did fall asleep but when I woke up once again he was gone.

The window was half open.

Figuring he'd left when I hadn't noticed I walked over to my window and shut it closed. "Flor!" My mom shouts up at me. "Come down here for a sec."

I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh. Early morning lectures were never a good sign.

I jogged down the stairs where my mom was sitting at the table, someone else was there too but I didn't quite catch his face. I knew it was a guy by the way he spoke his voice was deep, really deep.

"Mija, this is Ben." My mom motions at the man in a suit and tie, a brief case at his side.

"Hello," Ben says in a courteous manner.

"Hi," I mumbled.

I looked back at my mom wondering what this was all about but she simply shrugged. "Ben here is your father's friend."

I look at her a bit confused. She shakes her head in disbelief. "That good for nothing asshole wants to see you."

I recoil at the idea, taking a few steps back. "What?"

"It's still in the works," Ben says in a hurry pushing the rims of his glasses above his nose.

I look back over to my mom who's avoiding eye contact with me. I knew I was already old enough to see him without needing her permission but I just simply didn't have a reason to want to know why he left us.

I shook my head, "I won't see him." I muttered.

Ben was about to say something but instead of listening to him I stormed off. Opening the door to my house I stepped out into the cold and headed for the only place where I sought comfort.

+

I passed by the house a few times not sure of what to do or say. I wasn't about to go and knock on the front door and demand he let me in. I forgot my phone at my house so there was no way I'd be able to send him a message.

I should have thought this out before storming out my house.

I heard voice's coming from the house and footsteps padding closer to me. Not wanting to get caught like a fool I hid behind the wall and instead listened onto whoever was arguing at the moment.

"Where the fuck is he?" I heard a girl demand.

"Not here, aight? The fuck you want me to get him from?" A familiar voice says. I peer over the wall and catch sight of Rocky arguing with a girl.

She shoves Rocky hard. "I'm worried about him, that idiot is always doing stupid crap. Let me see him, make sure he's fine."

Rocky rolls his eyes. "Vena, he's fine."

Her face suddenly saddens. "Why the fuck is he being like this." She mutters.

Rocky stands there, pulling the cigarette to his lips. "Sorry Vena, shit happens." He inhales and lets out a cloud of smoke, before dropping the cig to the ground and crushing it beneath his foot.

I watch him walk back inside as Vena stares back at the house, fists at her sides. I'm not sure how she noticed me hiding but suddenly she's staring right at me. My eyes widen and I look away acting as if I hadn't witnessed the whole scene.

"Hey, you." She shouts at me. "Come out."

I swallow, reluctantly doing as she says. "I know you, you live around here don't ya? Tell me have you seen Jahseh around any girls?"

Girls?

"Umm." I must look as confused as I felt.

She rolls her eyes at me. "I'm his girlfriend." She reveals and suddenly it made sense as to why she seemed so familiar.

"Oh." I try masking my disappointment.

"Well have you?" She asks again.

"I..."

"Spit it out." She growls.

I flinched. "Vena!" Both our heads turn and look at the direction where the voice had come from. My eyes widen at the sight of X coming out the house, he looked pissed off but his eyes never met mine.

"Jahseh." Her mood suddenly changes, and she breaks into a smile rushing towards him she wraps her arms around him. "I missed you so much, baby."

And to tops things off she kissed him right in front of me.

I reached for my necklace on instinct looking away from the scene. It hurt seeing that but what hurt me more was how he hadn't even acknowledged me. My eyes register back to them but X and Vena was already heading back into the house.

And I stood there stunned and in disbelief.