Why She Stayed (xxxtentacion)

X.31

"You've been acting different Flor." My mom stands by my door as I brush a comb through my black hair.

I don't speak up knowing what she's up to. Lately, all she does is ask where I'm going, who I'm going with and when I'd be back home. I have a feeling that sooner or later she's bound to find out about X and me.

"You went back to modeling and now you're even looking like the daughter I birthed, a beauty." She pauses. "If any of this is just temporary...please stop yourself mija, you will only be hurt."

"Mom." I protest.

She shakes her head keeping me from saying any further. "You need to learn to be strong for yourself. If you do this for a boy...a kid..." She shakes her head. "Then you will never really be happy."

I swallow. "Those boys every single one of them out there only wants one thing and that's to take that innocence from you..." She's in tears now. "Don't do it mija, don't fall in love with one of them they will only hurt you."

I gulp, setting the comb down. She's doing it again...she's manipulating me, just like when I had started modeling she warned me that those kinds of thing were just one step away from pornography.

I loved my mother and all but sometimes she overstepped her boundaries.

But my heart was already dead set in love with the boy I knew she would never approve of, a boy I knew she couldn't accept no matter how much he proved he loved and cared for me. And it angered me, angered me so much that I had to leave at that point.

Grabbing my purse and phone I stormed out the house, not at all surprised by Bill who was standing at the end of the staircase, I only imagined he'd been eavesdropping. When he caught sight of me he stepped away pressing the rims of his glasses above his head. "Um, Flor I-"

"Goodbye Bill," I mutter as I open the door and storm out the house. 

+ + + 

I was at the recording studio where X and Ski were or at least he'd texted me they were. There were several guys here almost like a party and I couldn't really see where X was from here. Instead, I stood off to the side and waited for whenever he was done.

I caught sight of the only other girl here who had a red cup in her hands, her long slick hair was hanging below her waist, she had red lipstick, memorizing eyes and her body was beyond beautiful.

Something about her seemed oddly familiar but I think I'd remember a beautiful face. But strangely enough, she kept her eyes on me too as she flirted with the guys, laughed at whatever jokes or cheesy pickup lines they threw at her.

For a moment I looked away and back to the studio where X was at. I sent him a text letting him know I'd be waiting for him outside instead.

It was too crowded in there and besides, I didn't feel too comfortable with everyone watching me. "Flor?" I turned around slightly as I stood outside.

The girl had followed me out here. "Um, yes?"

She laughs. "It's me X's manager...Jessica."

My eyes widen, this was the same girl who'd been in a suit and glasses from the first time we'd met. "Oh, hi." I break into a smile. I knew she had seemed familiar but without the glasses, suit, and hair in a pony tail, she definitely looked different.

"Why are you here?" Her smile and tone of voice were a lot different too.

"I'm waiting for X," I say.

She rolls her eyes. "I'm sure he'll get home fine without you being here all worried." She smiles again. "You stand out wherever you go don't you?" She nods her head over across the street, my eyes follow and land on a group of guys who'd already been watching us.

I shake my head and stare back down at the floor instead. "I don't really like the attention."

She laughs. "Ha! Then why be a model? Actually no, why date Jahseh? He's practically surrounded by it. That's a bit hypocritical of you."

My eyes snap back up and look at her, "Really Flor I mean the way you are now you actually think you and Jahseh have a chance?" Her tone of voice was starting to change. "You're just bad news for him...for all of us."

"Eh?" I'm caught off guard, speechless.

"I know girls like you, I have you all figured out. You think playing innocent and being the sweet girl will excuse you for being fame hungry?" Her words were slurring and I tried my best to remind myself that maybe she was intoxicated which was why she was saying those things. "You'll stab him in the back when you get the chance."

I shook my head. "I would never hurt him."

She rolls her eyes again running a hand through her hair in frustration. "You don't get it do you, Flor?" She paused, waiting for some kind of response from me but I stood there unable to speak, to comprehend what I had done to get on her bad side? "Fine, I'll tell you what everyone else is thinking."

"Jess-"

She raised her hand cutting me off. "You're not good enough for him." I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it.

I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, somehow the pang in my chest was throbbing now. "I'm not good enough for him?" Each word sounded robotic as they left my lips.

I stared back up at her as she watched me with no hint of remorse for what she had said. "You're going to be the reason his career ends up being all fucked up." She warned. "I won't just stand by and let you ruin him."

Again shaking my head back and forth not being able to understand what was happening or what I was hearing. I was overcome with shock and the tears that blurred my vision weren't helping the situation at all.

I heard Jessica snicker before turning back and leaving inside making sure to shut the door closed but before she did she makes sure to say one last thing. "I'll just tell X you went home." She winks, before shutting the door closed leaving me outside.