Why She Stayed (xxxtentacion)

X.12

I stumbled back a few steps trying to find the door all the while covering my eyes. I ended up with my back against the wall instead while I stood there looking like a fool. 

"What the fuck?" 

"Who is this freak?" 

I heard the girls mumbling about me followed by the sound of the bed creaking and footsteps coming near me. What was I doing here? The thought kept repeating itself in a loop inside my mind. 

It wasn't until I felt his warm breath against my skin that I noticed just how close he suddenly was. I slowly lowered my hands and met his gaze. Oddly though he was watching me with a bit of curiosity and shock. 

I looked away first, my eyes roaming over the bed to the two half naked girls there. It wasn't an illusion, for some reason my eyes glisten and I have to look away again and back at the ground. 

X finally speaks up, still starring at me, breathing hard with just but a tiny space between us. It was almost like he was trying to shield them from my view but it was too late to pretend that I hadn't seen anything. "What are you doing here?"

I swallow a lump in my throat and continue fidgeting with my hands. "You invited me." I whisper. 

I pulled strands of my long black hair behind my ear, this was bad. "X invited everyone." One of the girls tells me. 

"I get that now." I speak low enough so just he can hear me. 

I shook my head and took a deep breath, trying to locate some courage. "Flor?" X says my name. I didn't want to look at him for some reason, I was fighting hard within me to act normal but honestly this was so far out my comfort zone. 

These girls were glaring at me, X was pitying me and I...I was a mess. "Come back over here." The same girl from before tells X. My eyes find her's as she steps off the bed she was wearing only a bra but as she approached him she unfastened the snap and let the bra hit the floor. Her breasts now exposed. 

I looked away, but once she reached us she linked her arm with his. X didn't pay any attention to her and instead kept his eyes on me where they'd been all along. "I thought you had a girlfriend." I say aloud. 

That was my first mistake. 

"I do." He says in a defensive manner. 

I look at him stunned. "Don't you love her?" I demand. 

It was then when the anger began to contort his features, he was breathing hard now but for a whole other reason. I had touched a subject that was fragile, things like love didn't mean anything to X at the time. "Love her, who the fuck said that?" He snaps. Out of anger X shoves his arm free from the girl's grip. 

She took a few steps away from him raising her arms up in defense. "You don't know me Flor. You think you do but you don't know shit." He growls, fists at his side. 

I didn't answer. I couldn't think of a way to speak. I was left speechless. I instantly felt a pain in my chest and it began to build up until it overflowed and leaked from my eyes. Why was I crying?

I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand. "I'm sorry." I mumble. The pain was choking me up and X watched me. His eyes softening up, fists un-clenching, and he reaches for me. I'm unaware of his hand that is a few inches away, all I had to do was look up at him and his fingers would graze the skin of my cheek. 

But instead he dropped his hand back to his side and took a step back. I shut my eyes closed real tight and flashed them open when I turned to the side and ran past X to the outside hallway. 

-tbc-