Why She Stayed (xxxtentacion)

X.40

I didn't allow myself to completely and foolishly believe in my mom, somewhere deep inside my heart I knew that wasn't the whole truth. I wanted to see Jahseh, but as time passed by I kept losing hope. 

Frantically sending him messages while my mom kept a constant watch over me. But he never replied or never saw them. 

I had to escape somehow and find him and once I did, he'd hold me, kiss me, and we'd run away together. At least that was the plan I'd made up. It was the only thing keeping me from either going insane or crying myself to sleep every night. 

I had texted Megan to see if she could help me with my plan but she replied with, 

"Sorry, I can't." 

I wasn't about to give up that easily.

When night came I snuck out my window making sure my mom was asleep downstairs watching television. I wasn't great at sneaking out because I'd never done it but surprisingly it was very easy to do.  

I started walking towards the front of my house when to my surprise a familiar person was pacing in front of mine a worried look over his face. "Rocky?" 

His eyes widened and he froze, "What are you doing here?" I asked. 

He licks his bottom lip before raising his eyes to meet mine. "Oh, Flor." He forced a smile, a smile I couldn't return. 

"Where's X?" I ask, I meant to wait to know the reason why he was out here in front of my house but before he could answer me I bombarded him with questions. "I've been trying to call him but he doesn't answer me." 

Rocky sighs, reaching for his back pocket he pulls out a box of cigarette's and pulls one out before placing the box back into his pocket. "I'm here because it's my shift." Rocky tells me as he pulls out a lighter. 

"Your shift?" I repeat, confused. 

He nods, "Since you know..." He paused looking at me and I suddenly felt like vomiting. "And there was never any arrests because no one was at the scene well X has been having you kept under watch to make sure your safe." 

I feel my eyes water and my heart flutter, "He has?" 

Rocky nods, "Flor...it's bad..." 

The warmth in my heart suddenly dispersed and I was left wondering what Rocky meant by that. "He's not in the right state of mind." 

"Where is he?" I asked again. 

With a worried look on his face Rocky finally confesses. "He burned it." 

I reach for my necklace X gave me needing all the strength I could find at the moment. "Burned what?" 

"The field of carnations, he set it on fire and watched it burn." I gasped a hand over my mouth. "He's hurting Flor, you both are but I think you should meet him." Rocky continues. "He's in prison right now." 

"Prison?" I pressed a hand to my chest feeling that pain throb. 

Rocky shook his head, "It's all so fucked up." He murmurs. 

It was beyond that but I still held onto this hope that maybe everything could go back to how it was. 

-tbc-