Why She Stayed (xxxtentacion)

Update

-Life is fleeting-

I'm in shock.

I thought it was a lie at first.

Now I wish it was all some sick and twisted joke.

But then that's life right?

It's all some sick and twisted shit.

I don't get it.

For someone who was trying so hard to make amends for his wrongs, to try and learn how to live life the right way.

It seemed he was always being left behind.

Which was why I thought I understood him, because in a way we were similar. I knew what it felt like to be thrown away.

But I hoped and prayed that through it all...that despite of everything

he'd know.

Deep down in his heart how much his fans love him.

How his music reached out and hugged us at night when we needed it the most.

How his smile shined brightest even in the darkest of days.

He was perfect with all his imperfections.

Sad, beautiful, broken, strong, numb, all of these made him human.

He was real.

In his music, we heard what his heart felt. The lack of love in his life and the urgency to just want to feel full with all the light the world had to offer.

For him to have met such an end...

why?

I keep trying to come up with a reasonable explanation but all I'm left with is tears.

And this pain in my chest.

I'm so sorry X.

I wish I could have told you how much your music touched me. The day I discovered you was one of my most life changing experiences.

Dear Jahseh Dwayne Onfroy,

I write to you today the words I will never be able to say to you in person.

You did well.

You were strong.

You were kind.

You were a hero in our hearts and a savior as well.

I pray that where you are now, you are full of love and warmth and light and that you never run empty of it.

I'm sorry is all I can whisper now, but until there comes a time and place where we can all see you again just know we'll sing back those lyrics that helped put our minds at ease.

There was so much more....so much more left for you to do.

It hurts.

It really fucking hurts.

In my mind you will have the ending you deserved.

You will be happy, older, in love, with kids, and the greatest thing of all will be hearing you say "I'm okay."

Rest in Peace. 06/18/18

Sincerely me,

-Crystal Villagrana-

+++

-A/N: I'm too much of an emotional mess right now guys, I can't believe this is true, I want to believe it isn't but my tears and my heart know otherwise. For those of you who are experiencing the same thing as I just know you are not alone, I'm so sorry to all his fans. I only pray now that his killer is found, that the person who did this I hope he or she will forever be haunted by this day. Because this is the day we lost someone precious, someone beautiful, someone close to our hearts.

Our angel has returned to heaven.-

Update 6/18/2020

He was loved.
Is still loved.
Will always be loved.
I miss you Jah ❤