Bill Skarsgård • Roman Godfrey Imagines

Can't be fixed

Warning: Sad chapter. I also highly recommend listening to the song I put up for this:)

"I don't understand." You said, hot tears streaming down your face and your knees up to your chest as the man you were madly in love with, and had been with for three years, sat across from you with tears in his eyes as he admitted that he had been sleeping with someone else.

It was funny, how a couple of words could make you feel so broken. You had been so happy, so full of joy before, and now it felt like someone had taken a hot pipe and drove it through your chest.

"I'm sorry." He said, looking down as he fiddled with his fingers, a tear falling from his face. "Is it me? Did I do something wrong? I don't understand just help me understand." You said frantically.

His face was solemn as he turned to you, his green eyes glossy. "We can fix this right?" You asked, on edge, not wanting to really know the answer. "Lie to me." You blurted out, knowing what the truth really was, but you didn't want to hear those words come from his mouth.

You stood up. "Lie to me, please." You begged, wanting to pretend none of it was happening. His face grew dim, sadness covering his beautiful features as he stood up as well, cloning closer to you.

"Yes, this can be fixed." He said, tears slipping from his eyes as he looked down at you. "Lie to me more." You said solemnly, looking up into the eyes you adored so much. His lips trembled, as his hand moved to your face and stroked your cheek gently. "I love you. I'm still in love with you, and I want us to fix this." He said, as silent tears cascaded down your face.

He looked so broken, so did you. You felt numb, as tears slipped from your eyes and onto your cheeks leaving a warm reminder of what was happening, that it was all real, not just a terrible dream. You wished so badly that you could go back in time.

Back to the time when you and bill went on a date in Central Park and ended up staying up the entire night in the park with one blanket, talking for hours. The cops came that morning and thought you were both homeless and drunk, but let you off the hook when they realized you were just two kids in love.

You looked up at him, salty tears on his pink lips. "I'm so sorry y/n, I tried, I tried so fucking hard because I care about you, and I hurt you, and I wish I could take it back but I can't. But I would be hurting you more if I told you I still loved you like I used to." He said, removing his hand from your face and taking your shaking hands in his.

You pulled back, looking up at him with shock and sadness. "I-I still love you, it's not fair, it's not fair that people can just leave the other person, breaking them into a million pieces bill, it's not fucking fair." You said, beginning to sob harder.

His face softened and broke even more as he walked up to you, embracing you in his warm, comforting arms that made you feel like you were home. "I'm sorry." He said, stroking your hair softly as he rocked slightly. "My chest-it hurts so much." You choked out, your hands gripping onto his jacket harder.

"I know, I'm sorry." He repeated, his voice cracking. You let go, pushing yourself off of him. "I hate you. I hate you so much." You said, staring at him with utter sadness and anger. "I know." He said with an understanding face, knowing that you didn't really hate him, quite the opposite actually, and that's why you were saying it, almost trying to convince yourself so it wouldn't hurt as much

"I hate you, so fucking much." You cried, He walked closer, wiping the tears from your face with his thumb. "You deserve better, you deserve to be happier, what I'm putting you through right now, you don't deserve it y/n." He said, leaning in and pressing a kiss to your forehead, his lips resting there for a moment before he broke apart.

You should have known, you knew that something felt different when he kissed you. It was crazy how you could just feel when love was absent, it's like walking into a place that used to be your home, except it's vacant. It was the most bittersweet feeling.

"I should go." He said, wiping his own tears. You had stopped crying, you felt numb at this point. You let out a laugh of all things. "I guess so huh?" You said, still staring ahead. "I'm-" he bang to say but you stopped him.

"Sorry, I know." You said, feeling completely surrounded by this deep pain that you had no choice but to endure, because the only way to make it go away was to be with him, in his arms again.

You remembered all the times the two of you would mindlessly ramble about stupid things in the morning while eating breakfast, the times you would take showers together and throw shaving foam on each other, or the times you would both just sit in the living room in each other's embrace and just be in love.

It kept hitting you in waves, that all of those things would never happen again. It was over, the spark that had been ignited in his heart had gone out, and all that was left was the smoke blowing in the wind. His heart didn't beat the same way yours did for his.

There would be no more falling asleep in each other's arms, or play fights, or ordering takeout and watching stupid movies. This was it.

"I hope you find happiness y/n, truly. You don't deserve what I did to you." He said, a tone in his voice that you couldn't put your finger on. It sounded so formal, like the tone of voice you would use at a funeral, it was the tone of voice someone used when they were saying goodbye.

You smiled, a sad smile, knowing this was the end. "I know, I know bill." His face looked so dim as he looked down at you, so badly wanting to be in love with you, to not hurt you like he's done, but not being able to because the painful truth was that he didn't love you anymore, not like he used to. "I can't love you like you need to be loved, but someone will, because you're so fucking incredible, and gracious and beautiful, don't let this make you think otherwise ok?" He said, wanting to come and embrace you but knowing it would make things worse with the state you were in.

"Thank you, I know it isn't your fault." You replied, finally looking into his eyes. A tear streamed down his face as he said "I'll see you later y/n." Tears escaped your own eyes as you replied "Yea, I'll see you later Skarsgård." And with a broken smile on his face, he turned, walking out of the door.

The room felt like it was drained without him, like love and happiness that lied here for so many years woke up and decided to find another home. You got up, looking around you and remembering everything that happened here.

The pain was excruciating, as you realized that the person you loved so much wasn't going to be here anymore, wasn't going to be there to help you fall asleep or to wake you up with a kiss on the cheek. But you realized something, that even though pain was now intertwined with these memories, so many beautiful moments were shared.

You fell in love, hard, and nearly irrevocably, and it was epic, completely and blissfully beautiful, and it was over, yes, but you would always have those memories. They wouldn't go anywhere, they were going to be with you always. A bittersweet smile crossed your face. As much as it hurt, you felt thankful in a way. Thankful to have been able to love a soul so bright, and honest, and kind. He hurt you, but he admitted it and regretted it. He did love you, not like you wanted him to but he cared about you.

The two of you shared one of the most beautiful experiences a human could ever go through, love. And you were so grateful for that. It was over, but this was something that not everyone gets to say they've gone through. You had been in love and although it was over, you'd forever remember the man who made you feel like you could fly, and that almost eased the ache enough for you to move on.

Did you guys like this? I love writing things like this, I think the whole concept is so beautifully heartbreaking and I hope you guys felt what I was feeling when I wrote this aha, but I also hope you guys liked it too. Thanks for all of the support angels-xx ps. The "see you later skarsgård." Fucking killed me to write because I pictured her in that moment having flashbacks of the memories they had together, and him leaving. Anyways just wanted to add that lil note 💕