Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
The sound of a door coming open and then closing with a soft thud diverts your eyes from your lap littered with papers that are due the week after this one; to the tall, lanky silhouette of your boyfriend. His movements are languid and lazy and you know he must be tired, your hands immediately gathering the papers haphazardly before tossing them onto the coffee stained wooden table in front of you.
"Tired, Z?" You ask softly, his sharp featured face still not coming into view as he walks through the dim entrance of the small apartment. "Mhm." His voice is low and gravely, littered with the days demanding activities. He sounds different though, weaker. Axel has this tone every time he speaks, this faux wall and guard, and he never ever uses it with you.
"C'mere." You say, reaching out into the darkness, his hand cautiously joining yours and your fingers intertwining. His are long and thin and covered with tattoos, a massive contrast to your own. You manage to pull him over to the old living room couch that you're sat on, his full, towering figure coming into view; the setting sun hitting his harsh features and accentuating the dark circles underneath his jade colored eyes.
"Sit." You say with a small giggle, looking up at him with a confused expression as you wonder why he seems so hidden suddenly. He swallows thickly and plops down next to you, his weight shifting you towards him. "Bub, what is it?" You reach out to rake your fingers through the dark hair above his ears, his body instantly relaxing into your touch.
You know somethings wrong, and he knows you know too; his heart throbbing behind his rib cage with an overwhelming feeling of adoration, because he knows that you're being patient and letting him take his time instead of pressing on. "Can-" He pauses almost as soon as he speaks, caught right in the middle of his sentence, large and rough hands still gripping onto yours.
Your eyes are wondrous as you stare at his stubbly side profile, fingers still raking through his messy tousled hair as you let him finish his question. "Can you just hold me?" Your features soften, whole body feeling warm as he turns his face towards you. He looks helpless, like as much as it kills him to swallow his pride and break down the tough guy barriers, he has to, for the sake of his health.
He almost looks scared, as if he's just shared a secret that he never wanted you to know, and he has to fight the nearly inexorable urge to break down as you instantly pull him to your chest. He wraps his long, trim arms around you and clings onto you as you wrap your own arms around his large, loosely clothed figure.
Your hands find his messy hair again, fingertips gently running through the locks at the back of his head and massaging lightly. Soft, relieved breaths escape his pouty pink lips and you can feel the warmth of his mouth against your clavicle as his cheek presses against it. He's heavy and impractical in your arms, that are much smaller and not as well suited for his size, but it's never felt more right.
Your hands travel down the long nape of his neck down to his broad, tense shoulders; fingers applying light pressure to ease any possible ache in his tired muscles. He lets out a soft groan and snuggles closer, long and lean legs still hanging off of the couch and the soles of his feet pressed to the floor.
You have to stop yourself from giggling at how soft he looks, like a giant teddy bear covered in crude tattoos and ripped clothing. This is how you know it's real, when someone who hasn't let anyone touch him like this in years; let's you break him down little by little until he's free of worry and he's comfortable in your embrace.
It's about ten minutes after, that you're still holding him, your figure leaned against the back of the couch. You notice his grip has loosened and he feels like he's pawning his full weight on you. It's not until you hear soft snores, that you realize he's fallen asleep like this, face buried in your chest and upper half curled onto your lap.
Your heart melts and flutters inside of your chest, cheeks feeling warm. You gently, and ever so carefully, lean back; letting your body rest on the length of the couch with him on top of you. He shuffles just a bit, resuming his position and curling his long legs around your own. His jeans are rough against your bare calves, his body heavy, though not enough to be uncomfortable.
You rub small circles on his broad back through his clothing, both of your breathing syncing as you melt into one another. You start to feel drowsy, eyes slowly closing as the safety blanket of sleep threatens to cover you. You let yourself fall under its ambiguous spell, heart feeling full of love for the man asleep like a baby in your arms.
He dreams of you while he's like this, a new found sense of realization making his body feel warm and light. He feels as if now, there is noting to hide. You've seen him at his worst, his best, his most vulnerable. He's never let anyone treat him like this, so gentle and kind. Today you both learned that to let yourself break is to let yourself show, and when you love someone; seeing every part of them is like seeing the stars for the first time.
Hi!!!!! I'm so so sorry I've been absent, ya girls just not feeling well and is going through a pit of laziness, no motivation, feeling defeated
I feel like I can talk with you guys and that's why I'm letting you know because sometimes we all just feel like what we're doing isn't good enough, that we're not good enough or that there's no point in trying
But I'm putting positivity into the universe and letting you all, and myself know, that sometimes we have to let negative feelings run their course, and we have to accept them and also accept the fact that it will never ever be like this forever and we WILL get through it
Hope you all liked this, I love love loved writing it cause I love my hard boys turned soft, and I also love you❤️-xx
