Bill Skarsgård • Roman Godfrey Imagines

Just breathe

Sad Fluff warning

I'm in a mood

He doesn't know how to tell you how he's been feeling, how suddenly at once everything came crashing down on him emotionally. On the outside he looks fine, and focused, but on the inside he feels like someone is squeezing the air from his lungs at different times of the day.

He brushes it off because he figures he should be used to it by now, press, and fans forming mobs around him wherever he goes, but he's not. He hates the term 'Famous' and considers himself the exact opposite. This life is just as confusing and hard for him as anyone else, though he loves what he does and has a passion for it, times like this feel suffocating.

He doesn't know why, it just all feels like it's happening so fast, like everything is coming at him full force and he doesn't have time to process it all. You are currently in the living room, watching a movie on Netflix that definitely only has 3 stars, oblivious to what he's going through due to him keeping it on the inside. You sensed that something had been wrong lately, but you aren't sure

You feel a bubble of happiness in your chest as you hear the door open, and in walks the tall, familiar man that you fell in love with two years ago. The bubble of happiness disappears as he sulks in, throwing his large black coat on the rack next to the door, before tossing his keys onto the marble countertop in the kitchen.

You throw the fluffy blanket that's draped on your body off, and place the remote on the table before walking over to him. He looks over, and you immediately know something is wrong. "Hey Bee, what's wrong?" You ask softly, unintentionally using the nickname you had given him, which is a play on his first names initial.

You reach up and run your hands through his soft honey brown hair, scratching a bit as you get to the back of his head. He shrugs his broad shoulders and shakes his head, and as soon as his eyes look up and meet yours, tears begin streaming down his face. Your heart instantly drops, as his pink lips form into a frown and he slumps into the stool sitting in front of the kitchen counter.

"Bill, baby, talk to me." You say with a concerned voice, following him and standing in front of his shaken figure. He just shakes his head, tears streaming down his face as the words get caught in his throat. "I just feel like-like so many people are looking at me, and like maybe I'm fucking up, or not doing enough. I don't deserve any of this and I-I don't know what to do because it feels like I can't breath and then I feel like shit for f-feeling like that because I should be grateful." He manages to get out in one breath, stuttering over his words and taking a deep inhale, chest heaving up and down as he reveals his anxieties.

Your heart aches in your chest further for the man in front of you, and all you want to do is hold him. "Oh Bill, baby look at me." You say with a gentle voice, softly grabbing his face and pulling it up to meet your eyes. You wipe his warm, fallen tears wth the pad of your thumb, and move closer.

"Just breath ok? You deserve every bit of support you're getting, in fact I don't know anyone who deserves it more than you do. You have worked so incredibly hard and your drive inspires me everyday, but sometimes our most beautiful yet harmful quality is that we are human. You have the right to feel overwhelmed, and pressured, and scared especially with the career you have. You are doing more than enough, and you are not fucking up, and even if you did, it even if you weren't, or did mess up, it wouldn't matter because everyone who supports you knows that you are one of the most genuine and kind hearted people they will ever come in contact with, and you are also the most grateful person I know. Just because you feel this way doesn't mean you aren't thankful, like I said, you are human and we all get overwhelmed. Don't feel bad for what you are feeling ok? It's normal, and it's valid, and we will work through it because a heart like yours doesn't deserve to feel this way. I promise you, with all of my heart that I will be here, and it will be ok." You say, feeling tears well up in your own eyes as you look at his state.

You pull him close, and wrap your arms around him as he nuzzles his face in your shoulder, hands holding onto your waist. You can feel and hear the soft cries coming from him, as you softly run your hands through his hair. "I love you so fucking much." He says, as he breaks apart from you and looks up, eyes glossy. "And I'm sorry for crying like this, I- I just feel like you're the only one who listens and I just-" he says, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

You nod your head, letting him know that you know what he's trying to say. "Don't ever apologize for crying, you are human, remember? It's ok, cry if you need to, god knows I've done it enough times. I'm sorry if I've made you feel like you couldn't come to me with this sooner." You say, feeling your heart sink further.

He looks up, a sorrowful look on his face. "No no, I never wanted you to feel that way, I just didn't want to bother you and it's been hitting me lately and I just can't hold everything in anymore. I love you so much y/n, I don't know what I'd do without you. Thankyou." He says, grabbing your hand in his large and warm  ones, a thankful look in his big green eyes.

You lean down, pressing a soft kiss to his plump and tear stained lips. "I love you too Bill, you can talk to me whenever you need to about anything ok? It never bothers me whatsoever. We are in this together. This feeling will pass, just remember that. Right now it's hard, and feels horrible but it's just like a wave, you have to ride it out, and I'll always be here along the way." You say.

"I know, fuck you're- you're an angel you know that?" He says with a small laugh, reaching up to run his fingers through your hair. "And it doesn't feel so horrible now, I feel a lot better actually. You always know how to make me feel better." He says, his tears drying and eyes becoming more joy filled. "Good, I always want you to know that I'm here. I love you." You say to him, feeling your own heart fill with warmth, knowing he feels better and not as sad.

"I love you too, so much. Kiss me again." He says with a small smile, pulling you in again to connect your lips. Both of your eyes close, and you can feel your noses touching a bit, as well as the comforting roughness of his palm against your cheek, while you place your hand on the lower half of his jaw. You both softly break apart, and stare at each other for a moment.

"Come and watch a show with me? I can order food and we will just relax and stay in, does that sound good?" You ask him, your eyes absentmindedly scanning over every part of his heart achingly handsome face, cheeks and the tip of his nose colored with a slight red hue as his wave of emotions subside.

"That sounds amazing, perfect actually." He says, softly pecking your lips once more. He stands up and engulfs you in his warm embrace, your cheek pressing against the fabric of his soft sweater as his long arms hold you close. You both break apart and walk to the couch, and he takes his shoes off before getting comfortable.

You order food and you both spend the rest of the night in each other's embrace while eating and watching movies, and he finds all of that sadness and worry washing away as he remembers that he has someone as incredible as you by his side, and you feel the exact same way. You both feel indescribably lucky to have each other, and neither of you ever found yourselves asking for anything more, as long as you had the other.

Hi guys! My heart hurts thinking of bill being sad oml, but I hope you guys enjoyed this imagine. And also, if you are ever feeling any type of fear or worry or anxiety, you are absolutely not alone and you have to remember to breath. As someone who suffers from those things nearly everyday, I know how hard it can be to feel like things will get better, but you have to hold hope in your heart because the bad feelings you get are just bumps in the road that you have to drive over. It will be ok, it always is. Love you all❤️-xx