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"Can you just stop being such pretentious asshole about everything?!" Your shout echoes throughout your apartment, stopping his words in their tracks as he looks at you with a stunned expression. Your cheeks flush, as well as his, your emotions building up inside of you and bursting like a balloon. You didn't mean to yell, to get so overwhelmed, but it just feels like you've listened to him go on and on about how terrible the state you're in is, or how 'bad this food tastes' and how 'annoying these people are' or how 'Sweden is just so much better when it comes to this'
"What? I- what the fuck did I do?" He asks, voice becoming sharp and accusing, as well as confused as he looks down at you. You're only a few feet apart, bodies suddenly becoming stiff with tension from your sudden outburst. He's just come to your home from his country only days ago, visiting like he does every other week when he's not busy with work. His green eyes are wide and his eyebrows are pressed together as one of his large hands stays against the marble countertop in the kitchen, as if steadying himself.
"I get it Bill, everything here is shitty and stupid and doesn't even compare to the beautiful, glorious country you're from. I get it ok? I know here isn't perfect, I know that sometimes everyone here is loud and obnoxious in your book, I know here isn't your home but its mine. I'm-" you're turned to face him, throat suddenly feeling as if it's closing up as emotion floods your bones, tears burning the back of your throat. You've just been so stressed, so overwhelmed and worked up from him coming home and the worry that he might have to leave soon; this is just the metaphorical, dread filled cherry on top.
"-I'm sorry that I'm not as good as what you're used to, or that everything here makes you unhappy or that I- or that I make you unhappy." You stutter, his brood face instantly softening as cover your face with your hands, tears pouring from your eyes as soft sobs escape your lips. "Y/n, baby no, I'm so sorry." His voice is gentle and comforting, limber figure walking over to you in seconds as he takes you into his warm embrace.
He feels regret, so much so that his chest hurts. It's like suddenly every little stupid remark he's made has been engrained and carved into his brain and he can see in vivid color how his small insults must have made you feel. Seeing you like this, feeling your body shake against his chest as you nuzzle your face against his firm chest, makes his heart ache in a way that is nearly unbearable. His y/n, his love, is crying because of him. The thought nearly makes him sick.
His large hands are rubbing your back softly, the warmth of his palms bringing you a sense of comfort and familiarity. His heavy, sturdy figure that you're holding on to makes you feel as if you're being tethered to reality, like you're safe. It's strange, how even when he's the reason you're upset, he's also the reason you're able to remain ok after the emotion works it's way through you.
"I didn't know it made you feel that way, jävla helvete, I'm such an idiot. Baby of course you don't make me unhappy, not at all sweetheart not at all, please don't ever feel that way. I was just making stupid comments and I- I was too fucking big headed to realize that they had an effect on you like this. Your home is just as incredible and beautiful as you are. I mean I have no room to talk about loud and obnoxious people, have you heard my family during holidays?" His comment makes you hiccup with laughter between cries, tears drying as you rub your cheek against his sweater.
He feels your body relax in his arms as his nimble fingertips draw circles on your skin through your clothes, and he takes the opportunity to swoop his free hand down and lift your head up to meet his eyes, two digits under your chin. He hates seeing your eyes red and nose puffy because of him, it's a sight he never wants to endure, but he still can't help but to think about how incredibly angelic you look, still, even after just crying.
"I'm sorry baby, I really am." He coos softly, voice full of sincere regret. You know he's telling the truth, and you can tell from the look on his face he feels terrible. You let out a soft sigh, arms wrapped around his slender, well built torso. You give him a comforting rub on his broad, hard back, an affectionate gesture that lets him know you forgive him. "I know Bill, it's ok I just- just kiss me, please?" You say, wanting nothing more than to forget about this whole ordeal and to get lost in the feeling of him.
A smile breaks across his face, eyes lighting up and lungs feeling as if they are opening up again as he gently cradles your cheeks in his warm palms, and dips his head down to meet your lips. His mouth tastes of sweet wine, and feels purposeful yet soft against your own. You can feel bits of his messy brown hair tickling your cheeks as he kisses you, so passionately it almost takes you off guard in the moment, but you instantly let yourself fall into the motion of his movements. He makes you feel weak in the knees, breathless nearly everytime.
"Upstairs." You mutter against his plush lips, to which he instantly complies and pulls you against him, hooking his massive hands underneath your thighs and hoisting you up; locking your legs around his narrow waist. Your fingertips are raking through the Swift hair at the nape of his neck, chest pressed against his; the pounding of your heart being felt through your clothing. You both feel closer in a way because of today, like you resolved an issue that made the other feel negative emotions; and you take a sense of pride in that. He never wants to see you hurt, especially not at his words or actions.
You are his happiness on days when he is absent of it, his daydream in real life and all of his stars present, right in front of him. Every day the two of you get stronger together, and every day is a new moment to learn and grow and become more connected. Nothing can ever break, or separate what you two have, and you both are more sure of that now than ever before.
Hi angels! I hope you all liked this, I enjoyed writing it very much! Was thinking about Bill and the stuff he says in interviews and wanted to express my feelings through my writing cause that's what I do and all. Got some more stuff for you all, stay tuned, love you❤️-xx
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