Slight warning for those of you triggered by mentions of anxiety
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He sees you coming out of the corner of his eye, hair falling around your face and feet skipping along the sidewalk, and for a split second; everything in his world is ok. You give him a smile, eyes squinting from the bright sun and your cheeks almost as red as his car you make your way to the classic, expensive vehicle. You trot around to the passengers side and open the door, throwing your bag in the back before dipping down and getting into your seat.
He doesn't speak, he doesn't even look at you, and immediately you know something is wrong. His hands look shaky as he puts the car in drive and stares ahead as he makes his way out of the parking lot. "Rome? You feeling ok?" You ask in a gentle, concerned voice, buckling yourself in before reaching over and softly combing your fingers through the hair above his ears.
He softens as he feels your touch, letting a sigh out through his nose. "Just- just not feeling too fucking hot right now." He stutters, swallowing thickly as his large, ring clad hands grip the leather steering wheel. The tendons in his arms and fingers protrude and flex under his skin, and you can practically feel the heat and anxiety filled anger that is radiating off of him. You're about halfway down the road now, green trees with a blurry aura zipping past your windows. "How about we pull over, just for a minute ok?" You say, your voice still calm, but uneasiness also evident as you turn towards him in your seat.
He does a double take at your expression, clicks going off in his head, making him realize that you're genuinely concerned and want him to stop on the side of the road. Usually he'd play down his inner turmoil and protest, but right now, he doesn't have the strength to. Your soft eyes and tender voice bring him to a safe place, and he's never felt that way with a person; so he can't help but to listen to his heart when it's telling him to let his guard down, to let himself become vulnerable for the first time in his life.
He softly nods, as he turns the steering wheel to the right and parks on the side of the road, the streets vacant and sleepy and giving you two unintentional, but much appreciated privacy. You unbuckle your seatbelt to become more comfortable, his ambience becoming more broken by the second as he shifts towards you. He looks contemplative, as if the words are right on the tip of his tongue, but he can't find the strength to relive everything again.
You reach out across the center console, grabbing one of his large, heavy hands in your palm and placing your other on top of his knuckles. You rub gently, soothing some of his anxiety as he looks down at his lap and back up. "I don't know I just- I found some stuff out about my mom, and about my dad. I knew my mom was a crazy bitch but y/n, she's- she's a monster. And I can't help but to think that I'm going to end up just like her." He states, eyes becoming red and glossy as the memories roll through his head like credits at the end of a movie. He looks down again, a habit of his that he has developed from years of feeling afraid of his own voice, fear of meeting anyone's eye due to what they might think of him. He puts up a good front, makes everyone think he's not afraid of anything, but if they only knew how broken he really was inside, they'd never look at him the same.
He's being vague, but you know that right now he just needs to get his emotions out, and that he will tell you everything when he's ready. "Oh Roman, come here." You softly coo, climbing over your seat halfway so you can gently wrap your arms around him and pull him close to your chest. He instantly shatters, your embrace a place where he can let go for once. Soft sobs escape his pouty pink lips as he grips onto your arms for dear life, a full blown panic attack hitting him like a vicious wave. "Shhh it's ok, I've got you Roman I've got you." You whisper, combing through his neat brown locks as you rock the two of you back and forth. His weight against you is comforting for you both.
"She-she did this to me y/n, she takes everything out of a person and uses it for herself. I fucking hate her- and I- I'm going to be just like her. Everyone already thinks I'm fucked up, why should I believe any different? And one day you're going to realize that I'm too much to handle, and you'll be gone too." He cries, numbness engulfing his chest as the tears subside and stain his red hued cheeks. Your heart sinks in your chest, his admittance making you feel so much pain and empathy for the broken man in your arms, you feel as if you might break down too.
You gently grasp his face in your hands, lifting his head up so you can look him in the eyes as you speak. He looks broken, yet heartbreakingly beautiful at the same time, and you find yourself wondering how someone so breathtaking can even exist. His heart might have been steel at one point, but you've melted it down and exposed the parts of him he never thought he'd have the courage to let anyone see.
"You are not her, do you understand me? You are not your mother, and you never will be. Those people who think that way about you, don't know you. They know the facade you put up because of how scared you are of their opinions, but they don't know you. But do you know something? I know you Roman. I know who you are and I love who you are, with every fiber of my being. I love your good days and your bad, I love your faults and imperfections because if you didn't have them, you wouldn't be you. I'm not going anywhere, sorry to break it to you. Don't tell me what I'm going to do or what I'm not going to do, because you aren't me. I'm going to stay as long as you want me to, because you're the love of my life Roman Godfrey, and I would not proclaim someone with such a title if I thought they we're going to become a monster." Your tone is full of truth and sternness, sincerity evident in the way you look him directly in the eyes.
He feels like a weight has been lifted off of his chest, like he can breathe again and let himself fall. He feels so much unbridled love for you, he doesn't know what to do with himself, because he's never had the privilege of feeling something so utterly profound. He can't find the words to say, so he leans in instead. The space between your lips is closed as he reaches out to cup your cheeks in his warm palms, letting every bit of fear fly out the window as you kiss him back.
Your hands have found the back of his neck, fingertips idly fiddling with the soft hair at the nape. His lips are always so incredibly soft, even when chapped, and you can't help but to let out a satisfied hum against his mouth as your tongues glide against each others bottom lip. Your noses are rubbing together, his cold tears transferring to your own skin from the closeness of you both; though you don't even notice due to being so engulfed in the passionate kiss.
With one last overlapping of your lips, the two of you softly separate, looking at each other with wide, lovesick expressions. He feels his heart palpitate as he speaks "I love you so fucking much, more than I'll ever be able to explain or comprehend." He states, a small smile breaking across his pink lips as he looks at his entire world right across from him. Your hand has moved to his jaw, thumb softly grazing the prominent bone and soft skin. "I love you too Roman, just as much, if not more." You say in a playful yet honest tone, giving him a wink as the two of you settle back into your seats.
He grabs ahold of your hand and doesn't let go, intertwining your fingers as your pair of palms rest on the center console. You feel the same butterflies in your stomach that you did the day you and Roman first met, the familiar warmth making you feel tranquil and safe. He feels nothing but pure happiness now, all inhibitions gone as he puts the car in drive again and speeds off down the empty road.
He doesn't know what he would do without you, and you feel the same exact way. You are the light that breaks through the darkness of the others world, and nothing will ever make either of you feel differently. Love has found you both and latched itself onto your souls, and nothing more blissful has ever been felt.
Hi y'all I was watching Hemlock for the 1,084,738th time and really wanted to write about soft Roman because I realized how much Roman really needed someone, he was constantly on the verge of breaking. *shouts, ROMAN GODFREY DESERVED BETTER, from the rooftops* Hope you all liked this lil fluff fluff love youuuuu❤️-xx
