Carl Grimes Imagines

Imagine 27

(Y/N)'s P.O.V.
"(Y/N), what do you live for?" Bracken, my little brother asks. I look up from my sketchbook to see the seriousness on his face.

"What do you mean, Bracken?" I ask, setting the sketchbook down beside of me. Bracken shrugs, going back to reading the comic book Carl gave him a couple of years ago. He was too young to appreciate it then, but now he's hooked on comics.

"Are you asking why I choose to stay alive everyday? Bub, I know this world sucks, but you're seven. You have so much potential-"

"For what though, (Y/N)? Now that the world has turned to shit, what is there to do with our sorry lives?" Bracken asks, throwing his comic book on the bed beside of him.

"First of all, language." I say, trying to keep my cool. "Second of all, that's a wonderful question. We just have to keep pushing on in hope that there's something in our future. Maybe you'll be the one to find the cure? Maybe you'll be the first orthodontist when the world goes back to normal? I just don't know."

"So you stay alive because you want to be an orthodontist? Can I have a straight up reason now, (Y/N)? Don't say me, because we both know that's a load of crap." When did my baby brother become so grown up?

"Okay, I guess my reason for living is... Carl? We've been together for almost three years now, and I've loved every moment of it. I couldn't even imagine myself leaving him or him leaving me," I say, smiling down at my feet.

"Okay, now what's it like to be in love?" Bracken asks, sitting at my feet. I chuckle, shaking my head.

"It makes you feel like someone's always there for you. I mean, I know you're always going to be there for me, but it's...different? It's like being bonded to someone by something other than blood. With blood, you'll always be connected. I feel like it takes something more to keep you bonded with that person. I don't know if that helps, but that's how I'd describe it," I stand up, stretching.

"Alright, bud. I've got to get downstairs to help out, so peace," I say, giving Bracken a peace sign. He rolls his eyes, a smile plastered on his face. I start to stroll down the prison stairs, stopping when I see Carl sitting next to some girl.

Carl tucks a strand of hair behind her hair, and I feel my heart pound, blood rushing through my veins. I watch as he takes her chin in his hand, leaning in for a kiss. When their lips touch, I cough to let them know I'm here.

"Oh, (Y/N)!" Carl and the girl  jump up quickly.

"This is Arabella, an old friend of mine. She's going to be staying with us for a while," Carl says, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. This is a nervous habit of his.

"Could you excuse us for a moment, Bella?" Carl asks, turning to the girl. She nods, walking off. I walk down the steps, standing at eye level with Carl. My lip starts to tremble, and my eyes burn as I try to keep tears at bay.

"Carl, am I not enough for you?" I whisper, choking on my words. Out of all the things that could've caused our relationship to end, I never thought cheating would be the one.

"(Y/N), what do you mean? You'll always be enough for me, baby," Carl says, stepping closer. I take a step back.

"Is it the fact that she reminds you of before the apocalypse, or is it much more simple than that? Was it her well developed body? I know I don't look the best, but I didn't think you were that shallow."

When Carl doesn't have an answer, I don't know how to feel. I don't know if my heart is shattering for all of the good times we're never going to have, or if it's trying to find a way to lock itself up because it was such an idiot for falling for such an asshole.

"Carl, do you remember the day we locked ourselves up in the watchtower? Do you remember how hard we tried to wave someone down, but no one would look up? We stayed up there for hours and hours talking about nothing before Maggie found us. There's one thing you said that stuck out in particular, and it made me feel really good about myself. You said that I had the perfect body. I'd never heard that from someone other than my mom, so of course it meant a lot. How was I to know you were lying?" I pause, blinking away tears. I am not going to cry over this.

"You know what, Carl? I know that rationally this breakup is your fault, but I feel like I played a big part in it. I feel like if I hadn't been so blinded by what I thought was love, I would've realized what a jerk you are," I add, biting my lip.

"This breakup? You're going to throw away a three year relationship over something as irrelevant as this? (Y/N), the kiss meant nothing." Carl sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"Irrelevant? Carl, you kissed another girl! Your lips touched hers! What if I hadn't caught you? How far would it have gone?" I yell, my hands flailing.

"You don't want to try and fix this? You're just going to throw us away like it's nothing?"

"Carl, you're the one who threw us away. You're the one who threw us away over a kiss that meant nothing. If you're going to break my heart, at least make it something worth crying over."

•••
Last update of 2017! Happy (early) New Years!
I love the progress this book has made this year, and I hope we continue to thrive next year! I'm so thankful for every one of you guys reading this! You all mean the world to me!

Q&A:
1. Do you have any fun New Years plans?

2. What are your resolutions?

3. Do you believe in the phrase "New Year, New Me" ?