The Moon, The Sun, and Everything Else

I Bet You Don't Remember Those Things I Said

Avriel Benjamin Kaplan,

I bet you don't remember those things I said the last night I saw you, the night you told me you were leaving. Those things about how I was happy you were leaving Pentatonix, how we'd be better off without you, how finding a new bass would be so much easier because we wouldn't have to fly this one halfway across the country. I bet you don't remember the aftermath of that. And no duh you don't remember it because you weren't there. You weren't there to see me almost put a hole in the wall from hitting it so hard, to see my panic attack that led to me blacking out for a hot minute, to see me run my nails, that still have those fake black acrylics you always liked on them, through my hair, trying not to pull it out. You weren't there to see me screaming swear words at the top of my lungs, so much so that my dog got scared. You weren't there, and that's perfectly fine, because I deserve what I got. I deserved the "good riddance", the "fine", the "well, I'm better off with you too." I deserved you slamming the door in my face. That being said, I bet you don't open this letter once you see who it's from, I bet you tear it up. But please know that I apologize for all of that with all of my heart, and I honestly don't know what I was saying or what had gotten into me or why I was even screaming or why I was even mad at you for making the responsible and healthy decision for you as a human being. Just know that you're still family to be and that I still love you. Know that my arms are always open.

Kirstin Taylor Maldonado