The Moon, The Sun, and Everything Else

And I Thought I Loved You

From "Writing Challenge: Angst Edition" because I have decided not to continue that book.

And I thought I loved you.

I stared at my high heels, twisting the heel of one shoe around in the carpet. "Can...Can you just tell me how long?"

Avi ran his hands over his face. "Kirstie--"

"Tell me how long you've known, Avi." I still looked down.

"A few..." He cleared his throat. "A few months."

I swallowed hard, trying not to cry. "How many months is a few months?"

"Five."

"You knew he was sick for five months and you didn't tell me?"

"Kirstie, I was planning on telling you, I just didn't have the heart to, and..."

"And you lied to me! You lied to me this whole time! I thought I loved you, but I can't love someone who lies to me!" I finally looked up.

"Kirstie, what are you saying?! I didn't mean to lie to you, but--"

"How do you not mean to lie to someone?!" I turned on the heel I had been digging into the rug and faced my back to him. "I need space. I need air, just leave me alone for a minute." I walked out the door as everything hit me at one time.

I didn't go anywhere, besides standing on the deck. It was cold outside, but I didn't care.

"Kirstin..." Avi came up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me to keep me warm, considering I forgot to bring a coat out with me.

"I didn't mean that." I said, still staring off into space.

He nodded.

"Did you tell everyone else?"

He nodded again, ashamed. "And then we vowed to not tell you until the time was right."

"When would have the time been right?"

"When we were alone, and...and I could wrap my head around the whole thing. I felt like I had to be able to comprehend this before I threw it onto you."

I nodded, sniffling at the cold.

"Let's get back inside, and we can talk the rest of this out, alright?"

"Alright."