The Moon, The Sun, and Everything Else

Falling Apart (2)

A year's going to fly by when I someone helping piece me back togther.

"What are you doing up still?" Avi asked, turning the corner. "Can't sleep?"

I looked up from the TV and shook my head. "Why are you up? Can't sleep either?"

"I mean, I could, but I was," He cleared his throat. "Totally not looking for a midnight snack, and I noticed your door was open."

"Oh." I said. "Well, here." I extended a bowl of popcorn to him, picking up on his sarcasm.

"Thanks." He smiled and ate some. He finished the bowl, washed his hands, and sat down beside me. He had his arms open as if he was asking me to lay by him. I took that as a 'Yes' and curled into his side.

He'd been staying at my place for a little over a month now, I said that I was okay multiple times, but he insists on staying with me.

"You know when you're tired, but your mind won't shut down?" I asked.

"Yeah. That's what's happening to you?"

I nodded.

"Is what I'm thinking is on your mind actually what's on your mind?" He turned to me.

"If you're thinking that the fact that I can never have kids is on my mind, then yes, you're correct." I said.

"Been on your mind a lot lately, huh? Ever since..." Avi's voice trailed off.

"Yeah, ever since that little kid from tour. Like, I want that Avi! I mean, not now, but in the future! I want a kid of my own I can inspire and teach how to dream. My mom did that for me, and that's what she always told me to do for my kids." My voice shook as my throat clogged up with emotion.

"Wait, Kirst...have you told...do they...who knows?"

I shook my head. "Nobody but you Jeremy, and myself."

"Kirstie..." He wrapped me into a hug.

"They don't need to find out, Avi."

"You're saying that your parents don't need to find out about this?" He looked at me like I had four heads.

"They'll hate me."

"Kirstin Taylor Maldonado," He only used my full name when he meant business. "You really think that your own parents will hate you because you can't conceive a child? There's always adoption, and donors, and clinics for this kind of stuff. If you really want children, there are ways you can make it happen, and I think your parents will understand that."

"Avi, you don't understand..." I started shaking, trying not to cry.

"Tell me, what don't I understand? Help me understand what I don't understand." He rubbed my shoulder, sensing my panicking.

"They really want for me to get married and start a family, and they want me to drop this whole music thing right now, because all they want is for me to be a doctor like my sister, with a great husband, and--" I stopped to catch my breath, which had started to become more choppy by the minute.

"You're okay, you're safe." Avi coaxed, pulling me closer and rubbing my back. "Deep breaths. In and out. In and out."

I tried to speak, but I couldn't manage it. My body kept shaking, and my breathing patterns were getting worse and worse by the minute.

"Kirstie. Breathe with me, okay? In and out. In and out." Avi noticed my breaths were still contradicting his. "Focus on this." He took my hand and held it in his. His thumb drew small circles on the back of my palm.

Still, my breathing didn't match his, and I soon found myself sprinting up from my spot and into the bathroom, proceeding to throw everything I had eaten in the past twelve hours up. Avi was quick to follow after me, holding my blonde curls in his hand as a makeshift ponytail.

He rubbed his hand up and down my back as I still knelt there and kept crying.

"I'm sorry." I whispered through my thunderstorm of tears, when I finally got my ability to speak back.

"Nothing to be sorry about." I had now shifted to sitting crisscross, and Avi's hand had moved back to my shoulder.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with me." I whispered once more, a good five minutes later when my tears had finally subsided.

"Hey, quit apologizing, I had no problem taking care of you. You need to be loved right now, so that's what I'm going to do."

"Thank you for all of this."

"Of course. Always. Come here." He grabbed my hands and stood me up. He wrapped one arm around my shoulders, and one arm hovered under my ankles. "Jump for a second." I jumped up, and he picked me into a bridal style carry. My shoulders fell at this. Relief. Avi carried me to by bedroom and laid me under the blankets. "Goodnight, Kirst."

"Wait, Avi..." I whispered.

"What's up?" He came back by my side.

"I'm sorry, but...can you lay here with me?" I asked sheepishly.

Even though it was dark, I could see a small smile come to his face. "What did I say about apologizing?" He chuckled. "But of course." I felt the mattress dip down, but then even itself back out as he laid next to me.

I was already dozed off when he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"You're okay. You're safe." He repeated himself once more. "I'll always keep you safe."

~~~~~

A/N: Part 3? I have a few ideas. Let me know in the comments section!

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Xoxo! 😘