This Is Gospel (ShimaxYukio)

54. Homegoing

A/N: This fic is ending soon.

Ironically enough, the sky was clear and beautiful that day.

Rin rubbed at Yukio's shoulder to comfort him as they sat in the front row of the funeral. He didn't know Mugen on a personal level, but he knew that he was important to Yukio amd Renzo...therefore he was important to him.

The entirety of the Myo Dharani had attended the ceremony, creating a sea of black against the vibrant green gass of the gravesite. The samurai hadn't had any parents, siblings, or children to mourn him, but this was his family.

This was his home.

No one had shed even the slightest of tears, keeping their composure as best they could as the preacher finished his prayer. It was silent; only the sound of the wind brushing past their ears. Someone was expected to say a few words...but no one could seem to get their feet to move.

Eyes turned to Renzo as he stood, silently making his way to the podium as the priest moved out of his way. His expression was a somber one, eyes flickering towards Yukio with a sad smile.

"Friends. Family. Today we lay our brother to rest."

Yukio's hand reached up to squeeze the one that Rin had placed on his shoulder.

"Mugen was a man without inhibitions...but he held fast to his beliefs. He was brash. He was boorish. He was cocky. But he was damned talented and, despite his shortcomings, he was a good man. A man who put his life on the line to protect this branch---he knew he would die and still...he threw himself in front of that bullet to make sure I would come home to you all. He doesn't deserve the life of pain that he's lived. I can only hope that now...he can find peace."

The young boss turned to the casket, jaw set as he tried to yield his overwhelming emotions. The casket had been filled with blue flowers that matched the tattoos on his wrists, bullet hole covered to the best of the undertaker's ability. Renzo still wished they had a closed casket ceremony.

"Rest easy, brother. I hope there's plenty of booze where you're headed."

He held a hand out towards Yukio, who was hugging Mugen's blade close to him. He hesitantly stood, handing the blade to Renzo so that he could lay it in the casket with Mugen's  body. Yukio almost couldn't hold himself together as he peered over at Mugen's pale face.

It didn't even look like him.

Yukio began trembling, clasping his hands together in a prayer-like motion in an attempt to keep himself in check. He bit at his lip as it quivered, telling himself not to cry. Not here. Not right now. He stepped back a bit as they began to lower the casket.

"Mommy...? Why is Mr. Sword Man sleeping in that box? We have to wake him from his nap or he'll  be stuck!"

Aimi was crying out to Rin, frantically tugging at his pant leg in distress. Rin suppressed the urge to cry, petting her gently on the head.

"He's gonna take a long nap in the box, honey. It's okay---"

"No! Mommy, they're putting dirt on him! He can't play with me anymore if they do that, mommy! Stop them, please!"

Heads hung low as Aimi's cries rang out.

Wamu was having a hard time keeping it together. Tears were leaking from the corners of his eyes and he wiped at them furiously, teeth grit in a futile attempt to keep his sobs trapped in his throat.

"I can't cry! I shouldn't cry..." He whimpered to himself. A hand clamped down on his shoulder and he looked up to see Yaozo standing over him with tears in his eyes.

"It's okay, Wamu. We can all cry today."

And with that, Wamu and the whole of the Myo Dha burst into tears, falling into Yaozo's arms to embrace him. Yukio and Aimi followed suit, Yukio throwing himself into Shima's arms as the young boss stroked his hair, tears of his own falling from his honey brown eyes. Aimi clutched at Rin's leg as she wailed, being swooped up into his arms as he hugged her and engaged in a group hug with his family including Ling and Shen.

Shima wondered if, somewhere, Mugen was laughing at their silly tears. Maybe he was happy that someone had loved him enough to mourn. Maybe he was happy, moreso, that Yukio loved him enough to cry tears for him.

#

Shima sat on his bathroom floor with a bottle of rum in his hand, half empty as he brought to his lips again. There was pink hair dye everywhere but on he bleached blonde hair as he had lost interest once he saw his own reflection in the mirror.

For in his reflection, he saw Mugen.

"You should've just let me die out there. I ain't worth dying for, Mu."

The silence had begun to eat away at him.

Say anything...please.

"This is all so troublesome. Feeling pain. Caring about people. Everything about this life...."

He paused, tipping the bottle up at his lips once more.

"I guess I've always sort of hated it. Have you ever felt that way...Mugen? You always seemed to love life without the fear of dying. Honestly...I envy you for that."

He could hear Yukio outside in the bedroom, sniffling to himself as he kept himself cucooned in the bedspreads.

"Sweet Pea told me that he's grateful that you brought me home to him. Irony was that I brought you back without your life. He cried for you...and still was glad that it was you and not me. I'm not sure how I should feel about that. Angry because your life supposedly held less value than mine...or happy that he lost something so important to him but still valued me more."

He supposed that he should feel the latter, but his heart was conflicted.

In the end, it didn't matter as long as Yukio was safe. That was his end goal all along.

Shima stood up to go and comfort Yukio when his phone buzzed beside him on the floor. He didn't bother to pick it up, but peered down at it as it lit up.

Kyle:
I'll be in Tokyo tomorrow for our follow up. Looking forward to be doing business with you.