This Is Gospel (ShimaxYukio)

61. Ordinary People

A/N: Six more chapters! Smut warning.

Yukio clutched at the headboard desperately, breath heaving with the intensity of Shima's thrusts as the pinkette hovered over him, lips pulled back in a feral snarl as he pounded into the little brunette. Yukio's lungs burned as the assault continued on his prostate, little yelps and screams ripping themselves from his already sore throat.

He needed this. He needed Shima.

"So good for me, Yuki; so fuckin' tight, baby. You're taking me so well, my sweet, sweet boy. You're going to cum just from my cock, aren't you?" Shima whispered in his ear. Yukio keened, trying to spread his legs wider and take more of his lover in. It was advised that they spend the night before the wedding apart, so tonight they would indulge each other. Not to mention that Yukio needed the sleep and if anything was gonna knock him out for the night, it's a good dicking down.

He inhaled sharply at a particularly rough thrust, thighs trembling as the pleasurable waves of heat came rolling over him. He wasn't sure of how much longer he would be able to hold out at this rate.

"Gonna...c-cum...!"

Shima picked up an even more brutal pace, cooing softly to the megane despite his rough treatment.

"I know, baby, I know. Just a little bit longer for me, yeah? You want me to cum, too, don't you?"

Yukio responded with a feverish nod, squeezing tightly around the intruding length in his body in an attempt to keep himself from spurting cum all over his and Shima's faces. He called out Shima's name over and over again, babbling unintelligible curses under his breath as the heat built up in his core. Shima smiled down at him with so much adoration.

"Good boy, Yuki. You ready to cum for me, baby? Hm?"

"Y-ess!" Yukio choked out, breath catching in his throat as the wall of ecstasy that had slowly built up inside of him came crashing down on top of him, every brick knocking the wind from him as his orgasm left him a convulsive, over-stimulated mess. Tears fell from his eyes as he felt warm cum fill his insides, unable to do anything other than twitch as Shima rode out their euphoric pleasure.

The pinkette let out a gruff 'FUCK YEAH' as he released, collapsing onto Yukio's shaking form to catch his breath before rolling over and pulling Yukio onto his chest. It was silent and for a moment Shima thought that maybe Yukio had fallen asleep, but the absence of his usual soft snoring told him otherwise.

"I miss him."

Shima missed him, too. He hadn't known how to deal with such emotions at all, but taking his anger and pain out on Kyle seemed to be a temporary solution. He minutely thought himself selfish; he hadn't even asked Yukio how he was coping. It was due more to the fact that he was afraid and not that he didn't care. Yukio had even less of a handle on his feelings that Shima did, after all.

"I know."

He didn't know what else to say.

"...you said you would make things right---"

"And I am. It may not seem like it right now but I am, baby. Besides...you know how Mu is. If he saw us whining over him, he'd kick both of our asses."

Shima refuses to use the word "was".

Yukio gave a tire giggle in response to that.

"Yeah, you're right. He would. It's just..."

Yukio bit his lip, second guessing his next words. He didn't want to alarm or upset Shima. Not on their last night together before the wedding. Shima, however, seemed to be more interested in being an outlet for Yukio to spill his feelings to. That was in his job description, after all.

"What's on your mind, sweet boy?"

Yukio hesitated, but it was hard to say no when Shima spoke again.

"You can talk to me about anything that's bothering you, my sweet baby. You know I don't like when keep things bottled away from me."

And then Yukio gulped, trying to swallow down his anxiety.

"I...don't want you to think that I'm crazy or anything."

He didn't need Shima trying to commit him to a nuthouse.

"I'd never think that, Sweet Pea. If I were gonna commit you, it probably would have been when you nearly shot me to death." Shima had said it as a joke, but Yukio didn't seem to think that it was humorous at all.

"I...um...I-I-I..."

"Honey, I was just joking. I was kidding, okay? I didn't mean anything by it. That wasn't nice of me; I shouldn't have said it."

Shima immediately regretted the tasteless joke, especially since he was trying to get Yukio to open up about his feelings. If anything, he had probably just made him shut himself off again.

"Baby, don't close yourself off to me just because I have shitty humor. If it makes you feel any better you can make shitty jokes about me too, I won't be mad. I also don't want you to feel like you can't trust me with your feelings. I'm sorry."

Yukio took the apology to heart. He knew that Shima would never have purposely hurt his feelings. Also, he had just gotten permission to call Shima out on his shit, so that was a silver lining. It wasn't as if he had anyone else to share his feelings with...

Not anyone who would understand.

"I...see him sometimes."

There was a silence that followed that made Yukio's anxiety spike a bit.

"Like...in your dreams? Cause if that's it then I can totally relate to that."

Nightmares. Wet dreams. Sweet dreams. He often had them about Mugen. He misses him terribly. He doesn't know what he'd do if he ever lost Yukio.

"Yes...but not just there. Like...at first it was just when I was alone. When I'm in the shower or when I'm eating alone. Then I started to see him even when I'm around others. He talks to me, Ren. Am I...losing it?"

Well, fuck. He might have been.

"No, baby. You're grieving. We both are. And people all grieve differently. Does it frighten you?"

"I...sometimes. Sometimes that fucking hole is blown into his face I can't look at him---it's terrifying. But sometimes...he comes to me as he should have been when..."

Yukio's flinch doesn't go unnoticed and Shima knows what he is about to say.

"How he should have been when I brought him home to you. With his sexy face in tact and with his life. I understand."

Another pause.

"Do you...do you blame me? You should; I won't blame you if you do."

"Ren---"

"I mean, you were in love with both of us and I'm a selfish asshole so I...I didn't make sure he came back to you."

"But that wasn't your fault! And! And! God, Renzo, I don't know what I would do if it were YOU who didn't come home to me, you know? I'm an awful person; I deserve to rot in hell but I'm glad it wasn't YOU. I miss him. But I'd never want to trade you for him."

Shima smiled, leaning down to pressed a kiss onto Yukio's forehead.

"Yeah. I know, baby. Guess that makes us both terrible people cause...I honestly hoped that you felt that way. We'll be fine."

"We...will?"

"Yeah. We will. Now get some sleep, okay?"

The order fell on deaf ears, soft snoring carrying up to Shima's ears as he realized that Yukio had already fallen asleep.

His cellphone buzzed atop the nightstand and he glanced over at it with an annoyed sigh.

Of course it'd be Kyle.