"Ok, baby," Josh said as he wheeled his fiancé into their shared apartment. "I thought we'd have a movie night."
"O-ok," Tyler said softly.
Josh pushed the wheelchair into the living room, gently picking Tyler up and setting him on the couch before setting the chair to the side and sitting next to him.
"I-I'm s-sorry," Tyler sniffled quietly.
"Come here," Josh said softly, pulling Tyler into his lap and holding him tightly. "Just hold onto me. I just want you to hold onto me and breathe. That's all you need to do right now."
Tyler continued to cry, Josh gently rocking him back and forth as he held him.
Tonight was Tyler's first night home since his suicide attempt.
Josh hadn't seen it coming.
He thought Tyler's tears were exactly because of the reason he claimed: overwhelming positive emotion.
After Tyler processed what he had done, guilt began to sink in. He didn't understand how he could have done that to his fiancé. He couldn't imagine how worthless that made Josh feel.
And yes, it hurt Josh. It hurt like hell. But he wanted Tyler to be happy. That's all he wanted. Tyler's feelings would always be above his. No matter what.
"D-do y-you still l-love me?" Tyler asked softly. "I-it's o-ok i-if you d-don't. I-I wouldn't l-like me either. I-I can m-move out. I-I promise. I-I can b-be gone by t-tomor-"
"Baby..." Josh said, looking into Tyler's eyes. "Of course I love you. I will always, always love you. I never, ever want you out of my arms, Tyler. You're my everything."
"L-losing y-your everything i-is scary," Tyler said guiltily.
"It's horrifying," Josh said, gently rubbing Tyler's back. "Oh my god, Tyler, that was the scariest month of my life. The worst month of my life. But I don't want you to feel guilty. I want you to understand the joy life holds. And I promise, I'm going to bring more joy to your life."
Tyler sniffled, beginning to tug at his hair with his hands.
"No, baby," Josh said, gently taking Tyler's hands in his own and holding them. "We aren't gonna do that. We're gonna treat ourself with love and respect."
"B-but I-I dont deserve love," Tyler sniffled. "I-I r-ruined your life."
"You are the light of my life, Tyler Joseph. You have ruined nothing. I just want you to feel loved," Josh said. "So let's snuggle all day every day. And let's kiss. And let's make love and hug and go on dates. Let's do everything in the world together. Side by side."
Tyler hugged Josh tightly.
His fiancé was the best.
"And I get to marry you in two months. Isn't that so exciting, Tyler? We get to be together forever and ever. And I get to make you feel happy and loved forever and ever."
"I-I w-wanna make you f-feel loved too," Tyler said.
Josh nodded, kissing Tyler's forehead. "Just... just hold onto me, baby. Hold onto me forever and ever. Never let go of my hand."
"O-ok," Tyler said quietly, slipping his hand into Josh's.
"And maybe a couple kissies here and there," Josh grinned softly.
Tyler smiled shyly, blushing as he nodded. "O-ok."
That night, Tyler curled up in Josh's lap, his nose buried in Josh's neck as his fiancé held him.
"O-on o-our wedding n-night," Tyler said a few hours later. "I-I wanna d-do something special f-for you."
"What might that be, baby?" Josh asked softly, his hands running through Tyler's hair.
"I-I wanna s-sing f-for you."
Josh smiled softly and kissed Tyler's forehead. "Please sing for me, beautiful."
Tyler smiled shyly, playing with Joshua's fingers.
Things were going to be okay.
Just as Josh had promised Tyler for so many years, things were going to be okay.
Everything was going to be perfectly okay.
