Klance One Shots

67

~So...readers...this chapter is going to be a bit...different *tries to wink but blinks both eyes* in this chapter, the characters from Voltron, try to make each other laugh in a public area (they kind of use random people during it, also they're at a food court in an earth mall). Now, with the help of myself, I bring to you, a mess! Also, this is supposed to be a horrible version of Impractical jokes~

WARNING: If you are sitting in a public place...rip

Ok, you shall begin.

Round 1:

Pidge goes first.

Pidge is sitting at a table with other random people. She looks around making sure that all the players are watching, she went into her bag and grabbed a towel, no facial expression, she puts the towel on her lap, unbutton her pants, then began moaning making up and down motions under the towel.

Smiles from the others but no laughs.

Up next is Shiro.

Shiro takes his shirt off and grabs two heavy dumbbells out of his bag, he began working out his arms with one foot on the bench. "Ooh, hot!" He said.

No laughs.

Lance's turn.

He looked at the lady beside him, both making eye contact, he takes his shoe off like Mr.Rogers, places it beside him, then pulled a granola bar out of his sock, no wrapper, just the bar. He began eating it making direct eye contact, then he tilted it towards her.

"Want some?"

Hunk was close to laughing. The lady got up and left with a disgusted look on her.

No laughs.

Keith's turn.

He stood up, pulled his pants down leaving his boxers, he went into his bag and grabbed a ruler, he put it beside his crotch area. "This won't work. Uhh excuse me, can you help me?" The young lady beside him turned to him, she looked down and stopped herself from laughing with a choke. "Yes?"

Keith passed her the ruler. "Can you measure my penis?"

She choked on her drink for a slight second. "Oh my god." She smiled.

"It's not for me, it's for my boyfriend over there. See him." Keith waved to Lance.

Lance smiled and waved back.

"Umm, why don't you let him?" She asked uncomfortably trying to not laugh.

"You're right," Keith said. "LANCE COME MEASURE MY PENIS!"

Lance put his hand around his mouth forcing himself to not laugh.

"Guess he won't," Keith said sitting back down.

Hunks turn.

Hunk pulled his shirt down, he was wearing a pink bra, he pulled out blueberries from it and began eating, he lowered his shirt more and made eye contact with Pidge. "Want some?" He asked.

Pidge looked away with no response.

Almost 2 laughs.

~2nd round~

Pidge's turn.

She reached into her bag and looked up to the person in front of her, she put the item on her lap hiding it from the rest of the player's sight. The old man beside turned his head to her, she lifted her hand revealing a bologna and slapped it on his face. It stayed there.

Hunk started laughing, he grabbed his stuff and left.

Shiro's turn.

Shiro looked at the group beside him, 2 women and 1 man. "Excuse me?" Shiro asked.

"Yes?" Said a woman.

"Have you guys been having trouble with your nipples?" Shiro asked.

1 of the ladies got up and slapped him, the man was laughing too hard.

"I apologize mam, it was a dare," Shiro said.

The ladies got up and left, the man followed still laughing. Shiro rubbed his cheek, looking at the rest. "Guess we'll never know..."

Keith's turn.

He got up and walked around finding a person, he walked over to a young couple.

"Hello, my name is Takashi Shirogane, I am a professional toe sucker, would you like me to suck your toe?" Keith asked.

The couple started laughing.

"No, it's okay." The man laughed.

"Okay, I was just asking. You know, because you need concent these days." Keith said.

Keith walked back to his spot and sat down.

Lance's turn.

Lance leaned back kissing his teeth. "Goddammit, shit, fuck!" Lance swore. He pulled a stuffed cat out of his pants, he looked around at all the other people looking at him. "Don't you hate it when your p*ssy wants to eat your Weiner." Lance put the stuffed animal on the table then pulled a hotdog from his pants and looked directly at the stuffed animal. "This is my Weiner!"

Shiro started packing his stuff as he left laughing.

2 laughs.

~Round 3~

Pidge's turn.

Pidge looked around, she began choking, or coughing...or both? She spit a huge meatball out of her mouth.

Lance got up smiling, he grabbed his bag and walked away.

Pidge looked at it, poked it, then pushed it aside like nothing happened.

Keith's turn.

His phone rang, he answered. "Oh hey, babe." He began looking around then at Pidge. "Did you check your erection?"

Pidge smiled. The people beside him looked at him too. "Oh, you want me to check it?" The teen boy beside him began laughing quietly. "Of course I'll check it, I'll even play with it too." Keith smiled, he looked at the young teens beside him. "He's so cute," Keith said. "Okay bye babe I'm going to go shopping." He looked at his nails. "Do you want me to get you condoms? Okay, what's size? ...extra large? Ooh someone grew." Keith smiled. "Okay, bye." He 'hung up.'

Pidge had a hand over her mouth.

No laughs.

~4th round~

Pidge opened her bag, she reached her hand way inside. (Uh oh) she looked at the person at the table beside her, she pulled out a rainbow dildo. "Can you hold this?"

Keith slammed his hands on the table laughing. "You fucker."

~Okay its over, I hope it was funny. Anyways Pidge won, hooray!~