Ishqbaaaz Os Series

42.||Melancholic||Redux

Narration: 3rd Person.
Main Protagonists: Shivaay Singh Oberoi.

*

"I'll go! One day or the other I'll go and you will not get a wiff of it" she said confidently, a wave of frivolous thirst of revenge seeped to every cell of her body, "but not before letting you know what a big sin you did to me, not before making you feel ashamed of yourself that at one point of time you will feel disgusted with yourself"

Her voice rang in his ears like a broken tape struck at a point, continuously playing the same lines over and over again in loops as he looked at the nuptial chain intensely; the only memory of her which is also the only memory of his who haven't left him in peace till date, as he had torn it apart from around her neck in a fit of rage and disgust, with such casualty that it will put shame to every marriage which had been successful and pure in the world's history whether it wasn't in case of his parents. His eyes squeezed shut in reflex as he realised in what a mess he'd been living all his life and how he had made it more messier with every stupid and cruel action of his.

He was his only destroyer. No One, No one is to be blamed for this.

Helping a glass of expensive whiskey down his throat, he felt the bitter taste at the tip of his  tongue, then it continue down his throat and disappeared all of a sudden - he felt relieved, although a temporary relief but he was glad for it as it made him run away from that nagging feeling which he felt every second of his life nowadays.

He is been a coward. He admits.

Filling the crystalline glass yet again with trembling hands he looked at the flow of liquid in utter Interest, in a hope that the way it is being emptied, he himself could empty himself from all those bitter memories of his. Well, fingering the chain had been an habit of his everyday life just in case he forgot how inhumanly he had behaved with that girl who was continuously begging him to believe that whatever he had been doing is wrong, whatever will happen he is going to regret it and he'd been in such an illusion of being right that now he just want to gulp a bottle of pills and end his life.

Living with that guilt is much more harder then death, he had realised and this realisation was worth the time - sarcasm at point as he gave a mirthless laughter.

Closing his fist over that delicate piece of chain consisting of inexpensive beads and a thin piece of inextensible string, he wondered. How could that very chain, even if it was of inferior price was the most precious and sacred jewellery for a married women? Well, he could never put a finger over that matter but he had always known about it been sacred and of utmost importance for a married women but what he did? He had crashed it's beads under his feet and didn't even care what a grave mistake he did. But now he know, he know he was wrong, he was terribly wrong and he need to redeem for this, but how? How could he? When she isn't there to whom he must ask his forgiveness?

He wanted to cry and beg for her forgiveness near her feet, even this will not justify the things he did to her but to some extend it will be lessen a bit. Yeah a bit! But it's enough for him now, he will bare the other half later on but first the point is where she could be? Where will be the possible place where he could find her?

For some instant he is just afraid to look for her, maybe because he doesn't know what he'll do? What will he say? How will he meet her eyes? Those eyes who will have only pure crystal hatred for him and nothing in particular. Those cocoa brown, innocent eyes still haunt him to no extend if he closes his eyes for a bit, even in the broad day light. The very first time when he saw them, he had seen his own reflection, you can say it's a cliche but this was what had happened and he don't know from that moment onwards there was always that one unanswered question in his heart which he try to solve but it never did.

Sighing loudly he gulped his seventh glass. Well, he isn't a heavy consumer but there is no other way to escape from her memory rather than intoxicating himself to such an extend that he doesn't even know his own freaking existence.

When suddenly he tightened his hold over the crystalline glass as he tried to stop his racing heart, it had suddenly started running wild as if he had ran a marathon a minute ago. Something was changed in the atmosphere, something electrifying and charging. He tried to open his half closed eyes to see what's going on around him but it was getting difficult for him. The more he tried the more his eyes stooped lower then the first time.

She was here! His heart could say, his very soul could sense her right now, but was it for real? Was it? He is still hallucinating! Damn!

Trying one last time to look up, he failed miserably but every part of his body ached to see her, to have a glimpse of her, but alas! It wasn't his time today. Moving his hands closer to himself he looked at the black bead chain one last time before closing his eyes to enter the world of darkness where he would surely meet her.

"I'm Sorry, Annika" he whispered inaudibly as transparent drop of liquid slide down his cheeks.

*

Well I don't know what I wrote! : P
Pardon me, I'm too confused whether she was for real or whether he was hallucinating, I know I'm talking weirdly :/ Anyways, Do tell me your views about this. And yes, I'm in love with this cute billu avatar of Shivaay's right now, he is just too adorable!!*taking a deep sigh*

Much Love,
-Anya.