X-Men One-Shots and Preferences

The Weird Guy- Wade Wilson

I couldn't really think up a better title for this one-shot but it was inspired by this X-men cameo from Deadpool 2, where it's implied that the X-men are at the mansion the whole time, they just avoid Wade. The audience may love him but everyone else in the Marvel comics find him annoying and insufferable.

So to summarize, the reader is one of the X-men who has the unfortunate mishap to draw the shortest straw and hang out with Wade when he comes to visit the mansion. She's never met Wade before and learns he really isn't such a bad guy, even if everyone else thinks he's unbearable.

Some suggestive innuendos along with some swearing and Wade breaking the fourth wall as usual.

"Why am I doing this again?" you groan. "You drew the short straw, sweetheart," Logan answers like it's obvious, "Which means the next time Deadpool shows up at the mansion unannounced, like he usually does, you get to be the poor schmuck who indulges him."

You groan again in exasperation. Okay, so you never actually met Wade Wilson before...but you have heard stories about this guy from the other X-men. The way they describe the one and only Merc with a Mouth, you would think this guy was like the one friend nobody wants to hang out with or something like that. You've also heard this guy doesn't seem to have any qualms about taking lives for the sake of vengeance (based on the last encounter of Wade by Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead). 
Welp, you were probably gonna meet Deadpool eventually, guess sooner was better than later.

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Sometime after that, you hear the doorbell ring. You look around and notice you seemed to be the only one left in the mansion, almost as if everyone else practically vacated the premises.

Now you were actually starting to become somewhat panicked; was this the weird Deadpool guy the other X-men couldn't stand to be around? Slowly, and somewhat hesitantly, you approach the door and open it to find a man on the other side dressed in red and black, face concealed behind a mask, and two katanas strapped to his back.

"You're not Negasonic Teenage, I am really getting sick of saying that cool but really long name over and over," the individual speaks. "You're Deadpool right?" you speak back, "Sorry, she's not here, and neither is Colossus if you were wondering that too." "Eh, that guy's too self-righteous for my taste anyway," Wade brushes off, "Now you on the other hand, what do they call you?" "I don't really have a name just yet," you honestly answer, "You can just call me (y/n)." "Am I gonna be calling you (y/n) for this entire damn one-shot?" Wade seems to start looking off somewhere behind you,  "Or can we use an actual name like Megan or Maria or...something with an M?" "Excuse me?" you frown a little. "Never mind, it's not important," Wade shrugs it off, "anyway, I'm gonna cut straight to the cheese, I require assistance and," he points to you, "That is where you and some of the other X-men come in." 

"Well I'd love to help, but uh, I'm the only one here," you explain. "Oh come on," Wade exasperates, "You mean to tell me everyone one of those goody two-shoes kiss asses happen to just not be here." Wade then looks at the same spot behind you, "Hey, writer of this fanfic. Can't you include at least ONE X-men cameo for this one-shot? Wolverine? Beast? Or that putz with the pigeon wings or something? While we're at it how about giving me some extra powers that aren't cannon to the comics or the film franchise?" "You're weird," you interrupt his little rant to seemingly nowhere, with a slight smile, "But I kinda like it. Look, Mr. Deadpool sir, whatever this thing you have, I am more than willing to accompany you." "You're disgustingly polite," Wade comments, "But I think I kinda like it too. See, I have a feeling underneath this goody two shoes exterior of yours, beats the heart of someone who's as crazy as me...maybe even crazier. So what do you say we blow this place and go have some fun? When I say blow I mean literally not figuratively....or the fun way."