X-Men One-Shots and Preferences

Second Choice- Logan Howlett

This is based on the infamous love triangle between Wolverine, Jean Grey, and Cyclops. The reader is in a relationship with Logan, but deep down, she knows she'll only be his second choice after Jean, and one day she just has enough.
This one-shot takes place after Jean's death, and it also includes the comic book attribute where Scott is in a relationship with Emma Frost.

Angst and stuff. Enjoy.

It was morning. The sun was just coming up, and you found yourself alone in the bed you've been sharing with a certain brooding mutant for the last year. Usually Logan would still be here with you, even if he was the first one up. But today was different.
You look at the nearby calendar, knew exactly what day it was and where he would be. You sighed a bit annoyed, knowing this was going to be a long day.

For everyone in the mansion that was friends, or had known Jean Grey in some way, this was the anniversary of the day she died. For you, while you were just as sad to have lost a friend, it was just another reminder that  no matter how much Logan professed his love to you, you would always be his second choice.

Logan had always had a thing for Jean, despite the fact she was with Scott. Those two were the IT couple since you came to the X manor; since the time they were teenagers, Jean and Scott seemed inseparable, voted most likely to get married. And sure, they may have had their ups and downs, but overall, they were happy together.
When Logan became part of the X-men, he was instantly drawn to the lovely Jean. So much so that he would steal any chance he could get just to be near her, even if Scott was holding hands with her.
There had been times when Logan succeeded in seducing Jean, but ultimately her heart belonged to the mutant with the red visor. Of course, Scott was hardly a saint in all this, given his psychic affair with the enticing telepath Emma Frost, but ultimately he too would run back to Jean.

When you came to the X mansion, you had begun to make a lot of friends among the X-men, but Logan was the one you fell for the most. Even though the two of you had grown close, and he seemed to reciprocate those feelings, you still couldn't help but feel that deep in his heart, he was still pinning after Jean. You had doubts about this relationship from the start. Were you just a safe choice? Second to what he really wanted? You pushed those thoughts back in the corner of your mind, thinking it was just you being paranoid.

The relationship blossomed into something wonderful, but was sadly short lived. The day Jean died, things seemed to have changed. Sure, Scott took her death the hardest, but Logan...well, it felt like Logan was starting to become distant. He still stayed with you and did all the things a couple does together, but it didn't feel the same afterwards. He felt distant, closed off, and sometimes a bit indifferent. Anytime he mentioned Jean, and how much everyone missed her, whenever he said that he really meant how much he missed her, it felt like a slap in the face. On the anniversary of Jean's death, it felt like that indifference and distance amplified tenfold. At this point, a girl can only take so much.

You got dressed for the day. As you exit the shared bedroom, you bump noses with someone. "Can't you watch we're you're going?" you hear that oh so sweet accented voice. "I could ask the same of you, Frost," you retort, "You're the telepath here." "Still, you should more of the effort, it's just common sense," Emma counters back.
"Whatever," you say annoyed, "Look, you probably already know what it is today, so if you don't mind, I'd like to spend the rest of it in peace." "Of course I know what day it is," Emma nods, "this day always comes at the same time each year. And each time, Scott's thoughts are on only one person."

You look up at Emma at the mention of Scott's name. "Whatever you have to say, out with it," she says with some annoyance. "You know exactly what I'm going to ask anyway," you huff, "Unlike the professor, you don't exactly have qualms about reading people's thoughts without their permission." "Just say it anyway," Emma huffs back. "Okay fine," you say, "Does...doesn't it bother you when Scott starts missing Jean?" "I'm not quite sure what you mean by that," Emma seemed confused. "You know Scott inside and out," you elaborate, "so...so you know that deep down to Scott, Jean will always be the love of his life. What I'm trying to say is...don't you ever feel like no matter where you stand, you'll just...Scott's second choice?"

"To tell you the truth, (y/n), I don't consider myself second choice to Jean at all," Emma answers, "In the end, Scott chose me." "After Jean died," you deadpan, "Before that, you were just a tryst, an affair, even if it WAS only in your minds. I think you don't want to admit it, but if Jean was still here, we both know Scott would still be with her." "Pfft, well what could you possibly know what Scott would do, you're not even a telepath?" Emma asks, somewhat defensive, indicative that she knew too that she was second choice to a dead woman.

Emma, though turns the tables when she looks further into your own mind, "Maybe your attempts at rattling me about Scott have something to do with your insecurities about being with Logan." "Don't you dare go there, Frost," you warn, "You're just distracting yourself from your insecurities." "The pot calling the kettle black," Emma says condescendingly, "Does it occur to you that maybe you're overthinking your relationship? That maybe Logan really does love you with fiber of his being and no one dead or living could get in the way of that?" You raise a knowing eyebrow at the blonde telepath, "You've looked into Logan's mind before," you point out, "If you were to look into it again, could you tell me, without a shadow of a doubt, that Logan has cast out any feelings he may still have for Jean?"

The look on Emma's face says it all, "That's what I that," you say somberly, "I guess that's all I needed to hear."
With that you leave to go find the man you loved, but knew he could never truly reciprocate that love.

-------------------

It didn't really take time to find Logan as he happened to be looking for you.

"Oh, there you are, sweetheart," he says cheerily, pressing a kiss to your cheek, "I've been thinking maybe later today we could, I don't know, maybe go out for dinner. You like that stuff right?"

You don't answer, and Logan notices the grim look on your face, "What's wrong, princess?" he asks with concern, "Did...did I do something wrong?"
"Uh, no, not exactly," you honestly respond, "It's...I've been thinking about this for awhile and..." "And what?" "*sigh* I think maybe it's best we go our separate ways from now on." 

Logan was shocked by your statement, "Wait, are you...is this your way of saying your breaking up with me?" You avert your gaze. "You are aren't you?" Logan realizes, "But why, I don't understand. I thought you and me...that we were in a good place now. I love you." "That's the thing," you tell him, "No matter how many times you tell me those three words, there will always be doubt to them. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if it's real or not." "Of course it's real," Logan tries to insist, then remembers what day it is, "This is about Jean isn't it. Pfft, come on, (y/n), I made peace with that a long time ago. Jean made her choice, and I made mine." "And what if Jean had change her mind?" you point out, "We both know deep down that she was the real love of your life. If she had chosen you over Scott when we had gotten together-" "Don't you dare say that," Logan pleads, "I'd still stay by your side, even if-" "I've no doubt you would," you say, "But it wouldn't be out of love, it'd be just solely out of loyalty."

"(y/n)," Logan places a hand on your cheek. Tears well up as you push him away, "I do love you, Logan, I always will," you say, "...but I love me more."

You turn and walk away, leaving behind a puzzled and hurt Wolverine. You didn't stop the tears from falling, knowing that the thing you always wanted would never really happen.