X-Men One-Shots and Preferences

Yummy Brownies Part 1

This is something I've been keeping in my head for awhile now. I was wondering what would happen if some of the X-men accidentally ate brownies that had pot in them, not that I completely endorsed pot use (not on a daily basis recreationally anyway since that's not the best for your lungs or brain cells), but I thought it would be funny to write about.

Inspired by the sitcom Mom

Accidental drug use, in this case being cannabis related and hilarity. The Avengers might have some cameos in this one-shot.

"So how did it go?" You hear Logan ask as you walk into the lounge area of the X-mansion; the mutant who asked was about to light his cigar at the time. "About as well as can be expected," you shrug, "It's the Avengers, you know how it is with them."
"I honestly don't know why you keep hanging out with those idiots," Logan comments, "wasn't there a reason you left them in the first place to join the X-men?" "They asked for my help on this particular mission, I couldn't say no to that," you explain, "course between Tony nagging out orders and Sam and Bucky bickering like an old married couple I was starting to remember why I did leave in the first place. Anyway, it's over and done with. Now I can sit back and relax, knowing the next time they want my help, they'll have to come over here begging on their hands and knees."

You sit at the table and open a bag of brownies you brought back from the Avengers headquarters. "Where did you get the brownies?" Logan frowns a little. "Might've siphoned them from their kitchen when Tony wasn't looking," you answer a bit smugly, "I figured they wanted me to fight on their team so badly they should pay me...or at least send me off with a bag of goodies. Take one they're homemade."
Logan accepts and reaches into the bag for a brownie and takes a bite. "Mmm, this is good," he says as you bite into another one. "Yeah, they really are." "Who made em?" Logan asks. "Probably Vision," you shrug, "He's been getting better with his skills in the kitchen, not like last time when he ended up burning the ice cream." "How is that even possible?" Logan seemed confused. "I don't know he was trying to fry it or something," you answer, "This is really tasty, although....do these brownies have a particular aftertaste to you?" Logan chews what he had in his mouth slowly to make sure, "Maybe. What does it taste like to you?" "Mmmmm....I want to say mint," you say, "Or maybe....carob? Maybe these are gluten free brownies or something."

---------Sometime later---------------

"Do it again, do it again," you encourage, all giddly. "No, no, no," Logan scolds, though he was just as giddy as you were. "Please, one more time," you beg with sad puppy eyes, "For me." "Oh fine," Logan gives in. You lean in and he extends his three claws. Two of them go back in while the middle one stays in; he uses it to pick his teeth, which made you giggle. "Why is that funny?" Logan asks you. "Cause it's like your giving me the finger but at the same time you're not," you explain in your stoned state.

You notice something else too as the claw goes back in, "wow," you say in awe and trace your finger against Logan's knuckles, "I never realized how smooth these are. It's like...it's like silk." "That's my healing factor for ya, kid,"Logan smirks. "I already knew about that," you say, "I was just expecting like scaring or calluses from all the times you break out those shiny claws of yours. Is that what also makes you look soooooo young?" "Hey I ain't that old," Logan lightly retorts, "Seriously, how old ya think I am?" "I don't know, how old are you?" "...I don't know," Logan realizes, "That is a good question. I could be thirty or forty or I could be over a hundred." "Or a thousand," you add, "Or two thousand.  That would make you soooooo much older than Cap, Bucky, AND Thor combined."
You and Logan start to giggle at that.

"Hey, can I ask you a really important question," you speak up after three minutes of the giggle fits. "Lay it on me, kid." "Why do you go away so damn much?" you question. "Well you know, sometimes I need time alone," Logan answers. "For weeks or even months on end?" you point out. "Hey, you know me," Logan shrugs, "I'm just a lonely loner, walking down the lonely road. That's how I roll." "Sounds lonely being a lonely loner," you comment, "pfft, lonely loner being lonely on the lone road, that's funny," you chuckle. "I'll give a quarter if you say that three times fast," Logan offers. You attempt but didn't quite make it; the man gave you that quarter anyway.