Falling For Clouds

Blossoms Fade For Seichi

Seichi's POV...

Flashback...

I'm having trouble containing my excitement as I make my way to the field. This is it, the Championship soccer match for my last year of high school. All season long we had dominated our opponents on both ends of the field and I have been awarded MVP of the year by my teammates. How good am I? Let's just say people have travel from afar to get a glimpse of my thunder kick. This game held more meaning than just winning a championship to me. Two scouts from two different minor league teams were in attendance to see how I would perform in a high stakes game. My coach told me to be the man he knew me to be and I could see a minor league contract by the end of the school year. My life would change forever with this opportunity. As I walk on the field I could hear the crowd chant my name with every step. I block out all the noise as my focus centers to the first row of the stadium. Sitting there is my parents and 3 younger sisters Sakura, Usanna and little Hisako. Sitting along with them is my girlfriend, Amy. She has my number painted on her cheeks along with my school colors. "I BELIEVE IN YOU!" she shouted out to me. Before the opening whistle I run over for a kiss from Amy, for good luck and to make the visiting team jealous. The team we're facing is from the Nagoya district and they have built a stellar defense throughout the season. As the game progresses on nothing goes according to plan. The defense has lived up to its reputation and they've done a great job of keeping me away from the goalie. No matter how hard I try I cannot penetrate the defense to get a decent shot towards the goal. With 2minutes left in the match, Nagoya takes a lucky shot and scores a goal to take a 1-0 lead over us with time running out. I can't allow this game to end without taking a shot at the goal. Within the last minute, my team was able to steal the ball away and pass it down the center straight to me. The defender running against me lost his footing and I had a clear path with everyone yards behind me. I was alone approaching the box with no one ahead of me besides the goalie. This is every striker's dream to be 1 on 1 with the game on the line. The roar of the home crowd intensified as the fate of our championship season rested on my right foot. I stared down the goalie as I entered the box. His palms were trembling, his lips quivering as fear poured out of his eyes. He was powerless to stop my thunder kick. As I cocked my leg back ready to release the final blow to tie the game, it hit me.... this was it...... My life could change forever... . IF I make this shot I would be carried off the field as a hero. The scouts would surely sign me as a trainee to a minor league team and my legacy would begin.... But if I miss? I would let my team down. This season would have amounted to nothing, I wouldn't get the contract from the scouts, and my girlfriend would return to the U.S. thinking I'm a loser. My name would have less meaning than it does right now. I can't let that happen, this is my time. I own this moment, it all comes down to me. The victory will be mine...... but what if I do miss? Can I live with the disappointment? Fear begins to pull my leg back as if it was tangled in a web... Just then I spot my wingman Shinji to my far left cheering me on as victory seemed inevitable. But it wasn't a sure thing. With the goalie so focused on me he would not be able to block a shot from Shinji, I convince myself. Yes, the best strategy would have Shinji take the shot to catch the goalie off guard. And so......I passed it... the crowd silenced in the confusion of me not taking the shot. Shinjis eyes open wide and his mouth drops as he struggles to find his footing to take control of the ball that is now at his feet instead of mine. He was not expecting the pass. No one was. He takes the final shot as time expires and the goalie manages to block it... We don't tie the game and our season is officially over... I stand in the middle of the field in disbelief we just lost the game. The Nagoya team cheers and carries the goalie off the field as he is awarded game MVP for blocking the game tying shot. Amy runs from the bleachers to wrap her arms around me from behind and rest her head on my shoulder. Earlier that day she told me that she was nervous for me and right now I can tell she is at a loss of words. Her presence is enough to make me feel better. From a few yards away I can hear my coach consoling a devastated Shinji. The coach tells him to carry his head high for he was still a man for having the guts to take the final shot with game on the line. That comment burned me like salt on a wound. But what could I say, he was right. 'More of a man than me' is what he really meant. Heading in to the locker room I was isolated from my teammates. They treated me as if I was carrying a life ending plague. After I got myself cleaned up I went to have what was supposed to be a victory dinner with my family and Amy. Dinner was incredibly awkward and silent. My sisters and Amy had done their very best to cheer me up and distract me from the game but it wasn't working. My mother held my hand and encouraged me to pursue soccer once I get to college. "I just love to see you Run, Seichi. You are so alive on the field. I know your hurting but please, do not give up on soccer. You are so very gifted." Her words brought a small crack to my stiff lower lip. "Thanks mom..." I couldn't help but look around the large empty restaurant and imagine it loud and cheerful with all of my teammates in attendance. But that just wasn't the case. Food had never tasted as salty to me as it had at dinner. Following the disappointing night I walked Amy to her grandparents' home. She became my only reason to smile. Amy had graduated early and had decided to take the summer off and stay in Japan a little longer, then in the fall she would head back to the US in time for her fall semester. "Seichi, remember when we started High School together? You were no longer the shy little boy I used to know, you had become just another arrogant jock. Your soccer skills and trophies didn't impress me in the slightest.." "Hey don't kick me while I'm already down, Amy!" I said with a laugh. "Seichi, really.. listen.. those things didn't matter to me and they still don't. Once I got to know you and see the real you I saw something special. I could see you weren't really this arrogant jock that other people had painted you to be. You are so much more. Remember our first date when you had to bring 2 of your sisters with us to the movies? At first you were so embarrassed but I loved seeing you spoiling them and treating them like princesses before me. I saw how sweet and kind you are to your sisters even when they interrupted our date. It could have been awkward but you still made it memorable for me and special for your sisters. You're a terrific person and ..... You will always be a winner to me, Seichi." And with those words she planted a soft kiss upon my lips. Amy sees me like no one else does, she loves me for being who I am and not for what I accomplish. As moving as her words are I still hurt like I've never hurt before. When I got home I spoke to my father alone and poured my heart out to him. I cried on his chest as he held me tight. "I failed, dad. I failed. I'm such a coward. I didn't even try. I just choked. I'm so sorry. I should have taken the shot." The words my father spoke that night would echo in me forever. "This was one moment in your life. You will not be defined by one moment. Some challenges you will defeat and some challenges will defeat you and that's OK! Taking that shot did not guarantee anything, my son. You made the calculated decision to pass it even if it was due to fear. Now you will live with that decision and you will be prepared to tackle life's next challenge." "But dad!" I exclaimed, "I let everyone down, my team was counting on me. I wasn't brave enough to do it, I'm so weak, dad." "Seichi, you are my son and you are a good boy. You will always do what you believe is best. Now you understand the pain of letting your team down, you will learn from this and take another calculated risk next time. Tomorrow is a new day. Now get some sleep, you will be the man of the house this week. Your mother and I are leaving first thing in the morning." All of us woke up early the next morning to see our parents off at the train station. My mother had given each of us some cash to get an early breakfast near the station. She could never allow us to skip the first meal in the day. My parents were in real estate and they were headed to Shizuoka to look at a new remodeled condo complex. Once in Shizuoka my parents headed straight to the property they were interested in buying. Sadly, after a few moments of being inside the remodeled home an earthquake struck Shizuoka killing my mother and injuring my father. By the time we had arrived to Shizuoka my father would join my mother in the afterlife. 134 people were injured that day while 3 were killed, 2 of them being my parents. My sisters were uncontrollably distraught when we first arrived to the hospital but it was too late. We were now all alone as orphans. As the funeral approached our relatives banded together to decide where my sisters would be placed and I was not a part of the discussion. After a long night they decided 2 of my sisters would move to Korea with my aunt and uncle on my father's side of the family. My youngest sister would remain in Japan but in Tokyo with my aunt. This decision was made with me in their minds. My uncle wanted me to stay here in Japan and go to college as I had initially planned. Thankfully my parents' home was paid off and being the oldest I was able to inherit the home. The fact my sisters would live an ocean apart didn't sit well with me. But what truly plagued my mind was the fact my uncle was rarely home. He was a military man usually stationed at the Korean base and as for my aunt, well she didn't have the best habits as a constant drinker. My other aunt from Japan who would care for Hisako is known to have a very single type of life with men coming and going... Before the funeral my uncle took me a side, "Seichi, everything is in place. This time next month we'll return for your sisters and their belongings. You will be free to attend school and live the life you have planned. Be the Man your father envisioned you to be, the Man he raised".... 'The man he raised' I wondered... What kind of a man was I? My siblings were horrified at the thought of moving to Korea and leaving the life they knew behind. Usanna begged to stay but they wouldn't listen to her and they told her to respect the arrangement not interfere with my future. They were helpless. They had no say in the matter... Yes, they didn't but I did. During the funeral my path became clear and I knew what needed to be done for my team. I took Amy aside and told her I could not pursue our relationship any longer. I did love her immensely but this time I had to take the shot and carry the responsibility of not sending my sisters away. I would be the one to care for them, to keep us all together. My uncle was right I was the man my father had raised. And I look after my own. I'm the captain of this team. Amy was heartbroken but she saw the bigger picture and understood my decision. I told her that life could bring us back together some day to have a romantic relationship. As of now we'd keep our friendship alive strictly as friends. My uncle was not happy about my choice. He tried to emotionally derail me by saying my father would be disappointed to see me throw my future away. After that I became the guardian to 3 beautiful girls. We were able to live comfortably for a while off the money my parents left behind but soon my sister Sakura would need money to attend the local university. Sakura insisted that she would rather work full time to support the family but I couldn't allow her to miss out on a higher education. So I took on a job as an endurance coach for the high school soccer team. When that wasn't enough to pay for all of our bills I took on another job as a dish washer at night. The next few years we all did our part to keep this team together and strong. Although I missed Amy, she too was busy living her life as best as she could. I missed her. Amy always brought the best out of me. She could build me up like no one else ever could. She always had the coldest hands and to warm them she'd always grab on to mine. She'd lightly press my palms against her cheek and thank me as if I could control my body temperature. I had never met a girl as wonderful as Amy. The only thing I did not miss about her was having to see her father on some occasions. He could be very cruel and non-forgiving. But thankfully he was rarely home to bother Amy. Since Amy, I didn't have time for dating anyone. My complete focus was on my sisters 24/7. I could proudly say I was able to keep all of my sisters out of trouble and set them on a course to lead great lives. Over the next few years my sister Sakura graduated from the local university and within a year she married her high school sweetheart. They both moved to Tokyo in the fall of 2015. Ironically my sister Usanna who was kicking and screaming about the thought of moving to Korea is now currently attending the Seoul National University. And that leaves me with Hisako. She is easily my best friend. Despite our difference in age we have become each other's support system. The days I am not working we both are cooking and playing video games together. Because of her I've grown to appreciate Korean pop over J-pop. She has BTS, EXO, Super junior and B1A4 playing constantly whenever we are at home. Her ultimate biases are from the group Super Junior. I'll never forget the day when one of her favorite members was sent to the military. She cried for about an entire week. She even asked if I'd volunteer in the Korean military to look after him. Once he was released and rejoined the group his sub unit had a concert in Tokyo. She started working at a local bakery after school for nose bleed tickets to the show. She said if she didn't get them she would cry for KRY. It had been a year since our siblings had left the house and I wanted this show to be 'super' special for her. I worked a week of 12 hour shifts in order to raise enough money to get her the closes seats possible. Once we were in the venue Hisako could barely contain her excitement. "Thank you THANK YOU Seichi! Youre the best brother ever!" Hisako said as she choked me in a hug. "Yeah yeah Hisako, its no problem. I just hope these KRY guys put on a good show." And they truly did put on a fantastic show. All three members have such a powerful and beautiful voices. Each of them was dressed in slick stylish fitted suits and they sang in Japanese even though they are from Korea.