Falling For Clouds

Bittersweet

Yesung's POV...

I seriously am having a hard time sleeping. Even though I'm in the happiest relationship I've ever been in. I feel guilty for feeling so happy. I can't help but feel bad for Kyuhyun who clearly is still hurting. I can see that even after all this time he still hasn't completely gotten over his feelings for Amy. I had my suspicions but I guess I was hoping that wasn't the case. He always acts like everything is ok so it's hard to read him sometimes. I'll have to be more mindful of his feelings, specially around Amy. For his sake...

The next morning...

The moment I opened my eyes the first thought that came to mind was Amy. I want to see her this morning, before I leave for rehearsals for today's second day of SMtown concert. Since it's early I hope she's awake or I might not get a chance to see her. I rushed to get ready for the day and stepped out the door while happily walking towards the elevator. Upon arriving at her floor I hurried to her door, but before knocking I checked my hair and clothes. Everything looks in order. "Alright let's do this." I mumbled to myself as I knocked. After a few seconds Katie came to the door. "Oppa! Hi... good morning" She gave me a hug. "Morning Katie. Are the girls awake?" I asked. "Maddy is in the shower and Amy is still asleep." She responded. "Really? I was hoping she was awake by now. I guess I'll go then." I feel disappointed that I won't get to see her before I leave. "Wait. Oppa? How would you like to be the one to wake her? You know, be her alarm for today?" Katie let out. "Amy made me promise I wouldn't wake her with my usual pranks. So this will be the closest I'll get to one. What do you say?" She asked with such a mischievous look. I couldn't help but laugh at how bratty she is, but still the idea of waking Amy does not sound bad. "Alright. I'll do it." I responded. While walking to Amy's side of the bed I couldn't help but notice how peaceful she looks. I quickly took my phone out and snapped a picture of her sleeping face. "So cute." I whispered while I placed my phone back into my pocket. I can hear Katie giggling in the background. I gently placed my hand on Amy's face and slowly caressed it. I love how warm and soft her skin feels. "Morning sweetheart." I whispered by her ear. She frowned. "Katie let me be. I'm still sleepy." She mumbled while covering her face without bothering to open her eyes. I turned to look at Katie and we both began to laugh. "Amy. It's me, Yesung! Don't you want to see me?" I softly spoke while I uncovered her face. She still remained with her eyes shut. I slowly leaned in and gave her a peck on the lips. I heard Katie giggling even more while she continued to keep her eyes glued on us. Thankfully that seemed to do the trick. Amy slowly began opening her eyes. I stood in front of her as I watched. It took her a few seconds but finally she came to her senses. Immediately she sat up. "Oh my gosh! Yesung?" She looks very surprised to see me. Right away she tried fixing her hair. I grabbed her hand to stopped her from doing so. "Don't worry you look pretty even with your messy hair." I reassured her while continuing to hold her hand. She shyly pulled it away and continued to fix it. "I actually have to get going, but I wanted to come see you for a moment. I hope your head's not hurting that bad." I said to her. She nodded. "Yes. My head is killing me." She responded. "Here. I brought aspirins for you and Maddy both. I bet she needs it just as much as you. Take them. I'll make sure to message you later to see how you are feeling. Oh... and don't worry about the hotel bill. I already payed for it. So just make sure to be safe when you head back home. Ok!" I handed her the pills and a water bottle. "Wow... thank you... that's very kind of you, but you didn't have to do that." She responded. I gave her a quick kiss on her forehead and stood up. "I wanted too, besides I'm your boyfriend, so what kind of a man would I be if I didn't pay for my girlfriend?!" I stated. "But still, I..." She tried to protest. "But nothing. Just thank me with a kiss instead." I wink at her and leaned closer. Just then I heard someone clear their throat... Darn! For a moment I forgot Katie was still in the room with us. Immediately I collected myself and chuckled with embarrassment. That's when I noticed the time. "Alright. I really have to go. I love you Amy. I'll try to text you the moment I see an opportunity." I blurt out. "Ok. I understand. Thank you and I love you too." She responded. "Bye Oppa! Have a good performance today too!" Katie cheered me on. "Thank you!" I told her while I walked towards the door. Just then Maddy walked out of the bathroom. "Oh Yesung! You scared me! morning!" She greeted me with a smile. "Morning. How are you feeling?" I asked. "Not so good, but that's what I get for drinking too much!" She forcefully chuckled. I can see she's trying hard to appear like her usual self. I feel really bad for her. I can only imagine how hurt she's feeling on the inside. "Well I'm sure your head is hurting so take some aspirin. I left some with Amy. Take a few and take it easy ok." I said to her while I opened the door and walked out. "Yeah. Thanks. I'll try." She responded. Remembering last nights conversation between Leeteuk and Kyuhyun made me feel that much worse for her. I continued to contemplate on the matter while I walked down the hallway, but then I heard Amy's voice. "Yesung. Wait!" I immediately turned around. As she caught up to me, she gave me a hug. "I'm so sorry about last night." She blurt out while holding me tight. "Why are you sorry?" I asked while I too embraced her. "Because I said stupid things and reacted very immature." She responded while bashfully avoided my eyes. I laughed. "Don't be sorry. I loved seeing that side of you. To be honest, I thought you were really funny and cute." I tried to make eye contact but she continued avoiding my eyes. She shook her head and hid her face on my chest. I laughed and stepped away to get a better look at her. "Amy. I loved that side of you." I reassured her. Just then someone came out from their room. A young couple walked out. They glanced at us as they walked down the hallway. "Wait is that?" I heard the girl say as she turned to look at us. "It is! Oh my!" She blurt out while walking towards us. Amy quickly stepped away from me. "Oppa. Can I have your autograph??!" The young woman asked while taking a notebook out of her purse. I smiled. "Sure, but I don't have a pen." I responded. Just then her boyfriend took one out. "Here man!" He handed it to me. I signed it and gave it to her. "Thank you so much oppa! You're a lucky girl." She whispered as she turned her focus on Amy who had quietly watched. "Oh!!! No, we are not! We are simply friends." Amy was quick to answer. I turned to look at her. I know we agreed to keep it a secret but somehow the way she referred to me kind of bothered me. I hate keeping our relationship a secret. "Okay. If you say so. Thanks oppa." The woman responded as she and her boyfriend left. I took another look at the time. It's late, I need to head out. I quickly glanced around the hallway and seeing no one I grabbed Amy and gave her a kiss. "Since I am nothing more than a friend, why do you allow your "friend" to kiss you?" I whispered over her lips. She chuckled. "Sorry. I hate to lie but you know that's what we both agreed to do for the time being." She responded. "I know. I'm only teasing you." I reaffirmed her. I don't want to make this into a bigger deal than what it is, since I know she's right. "I know you're running late, so I'll let you be. Just make sure to call me the moment you have a chance ok?!" Amy said to me as she began to walk back towards her room. After that I left and even though I was scolded for getting to the venue late, I still feel glad I went to see Amy this morning. I hope she's feeling better by now...

Amy's POV...

After saying my goodbyes to Yesung I began to feel something building up from the pit of my stomach. Immediately I rushed back to my room and the moment I stepped foot in the bathroom I let it all out. Only once before had I gotten drunk. This is my second time and it feels terrible, but thankfully all my memories came back before Yesung left. I'm glad I was able to apologize to him for the way I acted last night. Just then Maddy too walked in the bathroom. She and I both began to throw up. "Gross!" Katie made a remark as she glanced at us. "This is why you shouldn't drink so much." She scolded us. I feel a bit embarrassed that my younger sister had to remind me of that, but all I know is that after today I will definitely think twice about drinking again. My head is still throbbing but the pills are slowly taking effect. After a while I finally began to feel somewhat better. Same with Maddy. So we both washed up and went to lay down on the bed for a while. Katie had left to go downstairs to get breakfast for herself so it was just Maddy and I in the room. That's when I took that moment to talk. "Maddy? What happened to you last night? What made you drink so much?" I turned to look at her. She smirked. "Because I'm stupid!" She blurt out. "What do you mean?" I felt completely confused. "Because I stupidly confessed my feelings to Leeteuk." She responded with a saddened look. "How did he respond?" I asked but by the face she has I can imagine what his answer was. "He said he wants to stay friends, since he's not ready for a serious relationship." She responded and turned to me with a smile. I can tell she's deeply hurting inside but tries to act like it's not a big deal. "I'm so sorry Maddy." I gave her a hug. "Don't be! Maybe if I continue like this, maybe if I continue just being friends, then maybe in the future we can." She paused while wiping away a tear from her eye. "Sorry. I promised myself I wouldn't cry. I still have hope that it'll happen. I know he cares for me so I will continue to be patient." She tried to put a brave face. I don't know what to say, she looks so sad but keeps trying to conceal her true feelings. "Come on. Let's go eat breakfast. I'm hungry." She said to me as she stood up. "Maddy. I..." I was at a loss for words. I tried to say something... anything! I want to comfort her but how? I feel really bad. I know what it's like to not be able to be with the person you love, so I know how painful it is. I understand what she's feeling, but I guess the only thing to do now is to distract her for the time being. "Alright! Let's go eat." I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her with me. That day we decided to head back home early since we weren't feeling very good due to our hangovers. The moment we arrived home Maddy quietly walked to her room, shutting the door behind her. "Is Maddy ok?" Katie asked as she turned to look at me. I decided I would not say anything to Katie since Maddy did not want to talk about it. "She's just tired and has a headache. You know from drinking a lot last night." I quickly tried to make up an excuse. After that day, several times I tried talking to her but she kept insisting she was fine. Unfortunately, there isn't much I can do for her, except wait for her to be ready to open up. So that's what I am determine to do for my dear friend. I'll patiently wait and continue to be there for her as much as I possibly can. A few days went by with out being able to see Yesung. We still spoke on the phone here and there but it wasn't very long. In the mean time I applied at several schools. Since I'm not completely fluent in Japanese I applied for an English teacher position, eventually I do want to switch to the art department but for now I'll have better luck finding a job this way. Finally our time here in Japan had come to an end. This years trip had left many bittersweet memories for us but specially for Maddy. Leeteuk had even spoken to Maddy, breaking her heart further by letting her know he didn't want to keep in contact with her. He said and I quote. "I don't know how long it'll take me to get over my fears, so in the meantime I think it's best if we mature separately. I don't want to give you false hope and hurt you more. Hopefully when I work out some of my issues then maybe we can start our friendship again. But for now as hard as this is for me to do, I think it's best if we give each other space." Maddy in her own way understood why he made that decision and ended their friendship on good terms but still she's devastated. I'm not sure if Leeteuk even realizes what his friendship meant to Maddy. She's been in a very depressed mood, so going back home is something she really longs for. I on the other hand, feel really down as I very well know that more weeks will go by without being able to see Yesung. And being that far away also means that we will even have the struggle of trying to keep in contact with different times zones. Unfortunately, he was in Korea the day I departed from Japan so again I wasn't able to see him. Katie let out a few tears. She truly loves being in Japan with our grandparents, but she feels she can't leave home, not now at least. She's super attached to our father. That day we flew directly from Japan to LA. It's such a long flight so by the time we arrived it was 2 in the morning. Thankfully, we live about 40 minutes away from the airport and Ryan came to pick us up. He first dropped off Katie at my father's home before heading to our place. He right away noticed Maddy and I weren't in any mood to talk so he kept quiet the whole drive. Finally we got home. The moment we walked in our apartment we were received by Aria, Maddy's cat. She looks chubbier. I'm guessing Ryan and his girlfriend over fed her. We definitely need to put her on a diet ASAP. Maddy and I both went straight to our rooms. I didn't even change into pajamas, I was just so exhausted. That night I fell asleep in a blink of an eye. The next day was a Sunday and we both spent it relaxing and not doing much, since we both need to rest as much as possible for the following day we'd be back at work. Finally, Monday came around. I woke up early to get myself ready but I could see bags under my eyes. I guess my body is still too tired. I tried to cover them with concealer, and while I was finishing my make up my phone started vibrating. I quickly picked it up. "Hello!" I responded. I heard chuckling. "What's so funny?" I asked as I placed the phone on speaker so that I can continue getting ready. "Nothing. It just feels good to hear your voice. It feels like it's been forever since I last heard it." Yesung responded. I smiled as I heard him say that. "Shouldn't you be in bed falling asleep? It's what, midnight over there?" I asked while glancing at my time. It's about to be 7am here. "I don't want to fall asleep with out talking to you first. I've missed you." He let out with a saddened tone. I too missed him terribly but unfortunately I hardly have time to continue talking. I need to start heading out if I want to make it to school in time. After continuing our conversation for a few more minutes I had to let him go. "Sorry Yesung. I have to go, or I'll be late." I told him. I heard him sigh on the other end. "I understand. Take care and have a nice day. Okay." He let out before we hung up. He too sounds a bit depressed...

Yesung's POV...

It has been weeks since the last time I saw Amy and talking to her just now made me feel nostalgic. I desperately need to see her soon. I couldn't help but feel saddened as we hung up the phone. Lately, we only have a couple minutes every few days to simply say hi. We hardly talk anymore. I've been busy with my schedules and she has her own agenda to attend too. I know she'll be giving her two weeks notice today, but still I feel depressed. With all our long distance I've been feeling self conscious about our relationship. I know I will not sway and I trust she won't either but even so, I can't help but feel nervous about it. In the past, my ex's grew apart from me due to my busy schedules and eventually one even cheated on me. That'd be my worse nightmare if Amy left me like they did. In my line of work most idols feel the same way as I, since usually most relationships end badly due to busy schedules getting in the way. I don't want that to happen with Amy. She has grown to be such an important part of my life. I don't think even she realizes how much. I know I can't be without her anymore, she completes me! She truly has become my everything. I yearn to see her, to touch her, to kiss her! I want to be with her so badly. I need to do something about this! I have to think of a way. After much thought, I finally saw a way. I quickly checked my schedule. "Here!!! I have a few days off here!" I need to book a flight. Asap!" I let out feeling happy I'd be able to arrange for me to see her in about a week...


To be continued...