Dear Boo

👹Monster Mom 👹

💕Dear Boo,

My name is well...I've always loved the name, Amelia*! So my name is now, Amelia* and I'm 13 years old.

So I've read parts of Dear Boo, it's an amazing book! I was tempted to write you, so here I am.

Okay, that's enough..time to get down to business!

📢‼ I'm scared of loud noises. That's something you need to know before reading below. ‼📢

I know I shouldn't be, because she wants the best for me and all that, but....I'm scared of my mother! So I try to stay away from her, as to not set her off.

She begins to yell a lot, at least to me. One minute I'm doing my work (I'm homeschooled) and the next I'm being lectured about not doing my chores. So, I tried to do said chores but when my mom gets off work, usually around 9 or 10, she asked to see my work. When I show it to her she gets really annoyed if I haven't done much, so she starts lecturing me about how I need to do them. Every time I respond with  “I was doing my chores”, it's like she doesn't listen.

Afterwards I just cry while trying to work but then my vision gets too blurry to do so.

I know this is stupid and I sound whiny, but I just needed to vent about this.

I'm scared to talk to her about this because she's gonna go from kind to monster-y.

[PS: this was before I went back to school.]

Signed-

A conflicted Amelia*, 13 💕

💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜

🌹Dear Amelia*,

Firstly, sweetheart, you're not whiny and this isn't stupid. How you feel is never stupid, always remember that. A feeling is not stupid.

Secondly, I will go through this from a daughters point of view and a mother's point of view.

Okay here we go...

You told me that you're afraid of loud noises. Is it the loudness or the words that are being yelled? If it's the loudness, maybe you should let a doctor know about this. Sometimes fearing loud noises and the noise hurting your ears can be something more than you realize.

Okay, I understand that you try to get your chores and school work finished before she gets home. You said this was before you went back to school, so that means that you are in a public school now, correct? If you are then that gives you roughly 5 hours to do your chores and honework. Focus on doing that and then do what you like. Whether it's playing online, video games, reading, napping or whatever. That way when your mom gets home, everything is finished and she won't say anything.

I do disagree with you mom yelling at you. I can see her raising her voice a tad to get her point across, but not like this. No body should fear their mother. A mother is someone that you can go to for anything.

As for your moms view...

She works and comes home, she expects the house to be cleaned up. It's very tiresome and stressful to work and then have to come home and work even more. It does cause us moms to be aggravated and stressed. But she shouldn't take that stress out on you. Ever. It's not right.

Here is a suggestion.. When you get home from school, grab you a snack or whatever. Then begin your chores, do the hardest first so you can get it out of the way. After you're finished with the chores then begin your homework. If you get stuck on a problem, skip it and ask your mom or a friend for help with it. (I can help with homework as well.)

That way, by the time your mom gets home everything will be done and she won't be stressed. She is in the wrong for treating you this way, but I do understand her frustration. Being a mom is work in itself, plus work at home and she has a job outside of the home. She may not feel very appreciated, let her know that you love her. A lot of us moms feel that our kids don't appreciate things we do.

Sit her down and talk to get after a day where everything is completed. Let her know how you feel. Tell her you're afraid of her. She won't be mean, it will more than likely hurt her feelings and make her open her eyes to how she treats you. Make sure she realizes that it is not your fault if she has a bad day at work. So she doesn't need to take it out on you.

Us moms like to hear what our kids are going through. But not all moms are open and carefree as I am. I would never scream at any of my kids. If the chores are too much on you, let her know. But you're old enough to do some chores, just not all of them.

I hope things get better between you and your mom Amelia. A mother-daughter relationship is wonderful when both are treated respectfully.

I'm here anytime you need to write back to Dear Boo, or to talk to me personally. I'm just a message away dear. Good luck. Talk to your mom, she may need you as much as you need her.

xoxo,
🌹Boo🌹

*Name has been changed to protect identity of writer.*