Dear Boo,
I am Amanda* and I'm feeling so suicidal right now. I have been abused by my parents and sister, emotionally.
They call me fat, stupid, ugly, and so many other things. I have never had a close relationship with any of them.
My older brother sexually abused me when I was younger. All of this seems like it's way too much weight on my shoulders.
I have seen a therapist and I really liked him, but my parents said I never liked him. Now, I have no clue about what I should do.
From,
Amanda*💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐
Dear Amanda*,
Hi, dear. Thank you for writing to me about what you are going through. It takes courage to speak up about any kind of abuse and suicidal thoughts. I'm proud of you for reaching out.
I'm sorry that your parents and siblings put you through so much hell. Have you spoken to your parents about how you feel when they say hurtful words to you? I know siblings pick on one another and say hurtful things, but this is not okay. There is a difference between joking and being serious.
Do your parents know that your brother sexually abused you when you were younger? I do think you need to speak to someone who specializes in childhood trauma. Dealing with something this deep can affect your life into adulthood. There may even be memories you don't remember because your mind has blocked it out. When something traumatizing happens in childhood, and at times in adulthood, the brain keeps it locked up until something triggers it and you suddenly remember.
I would sit down with your parents (or when you're most close to) and tell them you want to start seeing your therapist again. Why did they think you didn't like him? Do you think it was because they were afraid you would tell him everything that has happened? I would just explain to your parents how the therapist helped you.
When your sister and parents say negative things about you, I want you to start writing everything down. Keep a journal of what was said and how it made you feel. When you begin seeing your therapist again, show the journal to him so he can understand how you feel during those times.
It's never okay for your siblings and especially your parents to emotionally and mentally abuse you. There's no excuse for them to do this, it is bullying and that is very hurtful.
When you begin having suicidal thoughts try to think of and do things that can keep your mind off of it. Try reading, writing, coloring, going for a walk, and anything else to ease your mind. For the physical aspect, try snapping a rubber band on your wrist, drawing a line on your wrist if you self-harm, or even writing “I am loved” on your wrist to remind yourself that you are truly loved. Hang positive quotes on your wall and read them daily to lift your spirits up.
I truly hope things get better for you if there is anything I can help with please let me know. Hold your head up and don't give up! You're loved, beautiful, and don't deserve this pain. I admire your strength, it took a lot to speak up about everything. Remember, you are not alone in this struggle!
Love Always,
Boo👆🏻How to document 👆🏻
👆🏻Ways to control your thoughts 👆🏻
👆🏻You are important 👆🏻
*Name has been changed to protect identity.
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Dear Boo
NonfiksiDear Boo is an advice journal for anyone who needs someone to talk to. I listen and give my advice about any topic possible. So, things such as rape, eating disorders, psychological disorders, self-harm, suicide attempts, abuse, and much more, will...