Dear Boo is an advice journal for anyone who needs someone to talk to. I listen and give my advice about any topic possible. So, things such as rape, eating disorders, psychological disorders, self-harm, suicide attempts, abuse, and much more, will...
WARNING This letter does discuss violence. Read with caution.
Hey loves, normally I write everything out that is send to me. This is one I wanted to get out quick, so I cropped out the name and will post the screen shots. Anytime letters are sent on here it takes me a while because I read it, hand write it, answer it on paper, type it and then finally copy and paste it on Wattpad. So I'm skipping many steps that will cut out about an hour since this was sent yesterday. Due to the storm I had no power to get on here at all today because my phone was dead. Without further ado, here is a letter from Baby Giraffe*, you may remember him from writing to me a few letters back.
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Dear Baby Giraffe*,
Hey friend, it's good to hear from you again. I see you will be having surgery soon. For those wondering his surgery is scheduled for March 11th. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers, if you do pray. Hopefully this will relieve some of the pain you are having. While surgery will be painful afterwards, the end result will be worth it.
It sounds like this kid that is bothering you is a bully. A bully is typically someone who is afraid of their own life. They are miserable themselves so they try to make others feel the same way. He is trying to get you to your breaking point. I'm proud that you haven't let him push you to that point yet. Loosing our cool can be very easy. So, this shows me you are very in tune with your inner self and have a strong will.
I know it's harder for older students to speak up without being labeled a snitch, but sometimes speaking up is the right thing to do. You may not be the only one he is bothering. He could bully someone else who doesn't have a strong mentality and the could be self harming. I would personally speak to a teacher or principal about this. Maybe bring the attention to the guy and ask him why he's such a bully. He may not know what damage he is causing. Sometimes when we tell others what their actions are causing they will back off.
You said black out during moments, that sounds like borderline personality disorder to me. My husband is like that. He is the sweetest person, until you mess with me or our kids. Then he will black out to where he doesn't remember shit. Tell your therapist about this. I can't remember if you see a therapist or not. If you don't, please find one. They do help. I see one, as well as my husband and two of our children. Talking to someone is better than keeping all of this inside of you. Rage is never a good emotion to have.
What do your parents do that makes life harder? You have mentioned your grandma, so do you live with her? It seems your close with her. I would confide in her. Knowing someone cars and loves you can help us with not feeling alone.
Depression is a hard thing to deal with. The chemical imbalance interferes with our daily lives. There is medicine that replaces that chemical. Many times it's a serotonin level that is very low, which causes depression and bipolar disorder. Sometimes people can't take normal depression meds, so the doctor must find one that works. Don't give up. Things will get better. It may not seem like it now, but it does.
Take things one step at a time. As for the girl you had on the ground... Forgive yourself. I can tell from how you speak about it you feel guilty about that. Idk if it's because you fought or because she was a female. Either way – forgive yourself. It's in the past. That's not who you are.
Each of us has a good and evil side. Let your good side win. Forgive, but never forget what happened. The past is the last for a reason. It's okay to let go of things as long as we learn from those mistakes.
Think of what your aunt would want you to do. She was very important to you. You're still grieving for her. Let go of that pain. Letting go doesn't mean we forget the person. We let go of the pain, not the memories. Hold on to the love and let go of the hurt.
Keep me, and the people here who care, updated with your surgery. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that things go well.
Love always, Boo
*Name has been changed to protect identity.
**Video attached is One More Light by Linkin Park. Listen to the lyrics and what they mean. Remember... I do.
