Dear Boo

★Dark Thoughts★

★WARNING★
This letter talks about depression and self-harm. If either if these subjects are triggering then please read with caution.
★★★

Dear Boo,

Hi, my name is Natalia*.

Recently, these past few weeks, I've been getting depressed. I don't know what it is, but I'm not really in the best mood. I can't pinpoint it out.

Maybe it's school and the stress of trying to finish my classes before graduation. Maybe it's my family issues, or maybe it's worrying about my girlfriend or something else.

I can't figure out what's wrong with me. It has gotten to the point where I am getting yo a really dark place again.

This morning I felt like hurting myself really bad. I haven't really thought like that in a while.

I've been two, almost three, years clean from hurting myself. I hate to think like that again, but when I think that dark or go into a dark place – I feel like isolating myself from everyone.

Sometimes I don't like to talk to about my feelings, they get too dark. I don't want anyone knowing how I feel, especially my family. I'm afraid they will think I'm crazy or something. Last time I was just being a “typical teenager” and was “being disrespectful”. I really wasn't – I was just keeping a secret from them that I was afraid to tell them.

But, it's different now...they know the secret and now my depression is on something totally different.

I guess my question is if you know how I can start being back to normal, I guess.

Thanks for your help!

❣️—Natalia*

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

Dear Natalia*,

Hi, sweets. Thank you for writing to me and for trusting me with your problem. Anytime you ever need a friend to talk to remember that I'm only a pm away.

Depression is a hard thing to deal with. Some people think depression is just “being sad”, but it's not. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain. A brain produces a chemical called serotonin, when someone is depressed their serotonin level isn't where it should be. Because of that, depression happens.

School can definitely add stress on you. Instead of worrying about finishing classes so quickly just do your best, get good grades on your exams and then graduate.

Family issues can also play a part on you with stress and can add to your depression because you worry about your family. Try not to dwell on issues that you can't change. Live your life as a teen. You're not a parent or an adult, so don't worry about factors that are adult problems. I know you want to help your parents, but it's adding stress on you.

It's understandable that you worry about your girlfriend, I know she worries about you as well. You two are a strong, beautiful couple who truly love one another. I understand why you worry about her.

Also remember that while you're worried about everyone else, you're neglecting your own needs.

Do you see a therapist? As you have read in other letters, I do recommend therapy quite often. I do so because it truly can help. Medicine also helps, but each person feels differently about taking meds for depression. It replaces the serotonin in our brains so it definitely helps to feel “normal”. I use quotations around normal because having depression and other disorders doesn't make you, me or anyone else not normal.

I am very proud of you for being clean from cutting for almost three years. That is a wonderful thing. When you feel the need, and want, to cut yourself think about the person you care about the most. Your girlfriend for example...how would you feel if she was sitting in your place about to cut herself? It would hurt you and make you cry, right? Think of how she and your loved ones would feel if they knew what you wanted to do. Self-harm takes away the emotional pain we are feeling. Turning emotional pain into physical pain is understandable and I know the feeling of that release. But afterward, you feel bad about what you just did. The euphoric feeling doesn't last long, and over time you will look at your skin and will be left with scars. But you still have that emotional pain. Think about all the reasons you have to not cut.