Dear Boo

🌟 Anxiety & Depression 🌟

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

This letter contains the mention of self-harm. If this is triggering for you, please read with caution. If anyone is going through similar problems please reach out to me or someone you can trust.

Dear Boo,

My name is Neefa*, and I'm twenty years old. My parents are divorced and I go to my Dad's every second weekend. Recently I've been having problems with him, so I have stayed away.

My Dad, John*, is the type of person who will try to find your weakness and use it against you. Mine just happens to be my depression and anxiety. So you see how that's really stressful for me it's becoming so bad that I'm afraid of him.

I'm an epileptic, and any stress or anxiety causes me to have a seizure.

I'm also bisexual and extremely afraid of coming out to him. I know he will just use that against me.

My only escape is watching Jeffree Star's YouTube videos, listening to music and reading/writing on Wattpad.

Sorry for rambling, but I'm at my breaking point and I'm emotionally empty. The only feeling I feel is pain when I pick up a blade. I really don't know what to do anymore.

Love Neefa*
xxx

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Dear Neefa*,

Thanks for writing to me about what's going on with you. It seems you are very overwhelmed. One thing builds on top of another and you just keep it crammed inside. This is not only good, but it's unhealthy as well.

Okay, let's begin with your Dad, John*. He is someone who is unhealthy to have in your life. He seems to be a trigger for your anxiety, which also makes your depression worse. I understand that he is your Dad, but you need to ask yourself is he safe to be around for every visit.

You're an adult so your visits with him are not mandatory. You have a choice. Always remember that! For people that are reading this, that's unaware of how serious a seizure can be.. they can cause strokes and even death. Taking care of yourself and your health is a major priority. Please always keep this in mind.

I'm not sure I'd you're close to your Dad or not, but if you are,  try these suggestions. Sit down with him and your Mom and talk about what is going on. Tell him how he makes you feel. If you're not comfortable doing that, try writing a letter. Express your hurt and pain that you feel. Sometimes parents don't know how they're making their children feel. I hope he isn't doing things to hurt you intentionally.

When you come out to your parents, or just your Dad, sit them down and just came out with it. Here is about an example:

“Mom, Dad — You may not agree with every choice I make in life but I'm growing up to the person I want to be. You're supposed to love me unconditionally. I'm bi and I'm proud of that. I'm not hiding who I am anymore. You can either accept it or not. I won't change for you or anyone else. I love me, and it's time you both begin to love me how you should.”

I have suggested this to a few people before, and it did help them overcome the fear of coming out to their parents.

Be proud of who you are love. Don't let anyone stop you from being the wonderful person you are.

I would normally recommend reading and writing, but you already do this haha. Writing your thoughts down in a journal can be very helpful. My therapist used to suggest write my mood as a color. Of course many times my color mood would be black, a few times it was even clear.