Dear Boo is an advice journal for anyone who needs someone to talk to. I listen and give my advice about any topic possible. So, things such as rape, eating disorders, psychological disorders, self-harm, suicide attempts, abuse, and much more, will...
Hey, so here's the thing – I'm bisexual! My friend is pansexual and I want to tell her I'm bi, but I can't.
The reason?
Before I accepted I was bi I always told myself I was straight. My friend had/has a crush on me. But, she's not my type. Plus, I'm not ready to date right now.
I don't want to be rude, so my main excuse was, I'm straight.
I want to tell her I'm bi, but I'm pretty sure she still likes me. She's one of my only irl friends so I don't want to screw anything up.
First off, thanks so much for writing in to me. I appreciate you trusting me with your issue that you're struggling with.
Secondly, congratulations for coming to terms with being bisexual! It's hard to pretend to be straight when you're not. Embrace your sexuality and love yourself for who you are.
Now, down to the issue!
Just because you're bi doesn't mean you automatically have to date a chick, and she shouldn't expect you to. When you tell her that you're bi also add on that you're not interested in anyone and don't want to date just yet. Hopefully that will also give her a hint to not hit on you as well.
Did you feel the need to explain yourself to any guy when you were pretending to be straight? I hope not. So why do you feel that you have to explain things to her just because you're bi?
I understand why she may get it in her head that it's a green light to go ahead and flirt with you and try to date you. But just simply tell her that you're not into dating friends. Just bring it up as a random topic. Like, I was reading in this book where these two friends began dating and it ruined their friendship. I could never do that for that exact reason. That way you kinda give your view on dating friends and draw the line with her, without hurting her feelings.
No matter if someone is gay, straight, bi..whatever.. dating friends can go either way. It can be the best thing ever, or it can destroy a perfect friendship.
She should respect your feelings and boundaries on this and not press the issue simply because you like men and women.
You're just now coming out, you need time to adjust and get comfortable. She shouldn't expect you to announce that you're bi and then jump into a relationship.
Hopefully she will understand and not take it too personal. Date when you're ready and don't feel pressured into dating someone you don't want to. Always put yourself first and love yourself.
Anytime you need to talk just send me a pm. I hope things go well for you when you talk with her. I'm so proud of you for not hiding who you are anymore. Embrace yourself and love yourself.
Love always, Boo
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Video attached is: Black Veil Brides Goodbye Agony –This song has been in my mind so I included it. I absolutely love this band so much.
