Dear Boo

✨Is This Social Anxiety ✨

Dear Boo,

I'm very confused about what's going on with my mind. I don't know if I'm either Shy or have Social Anxiety. I don't want to get into so much detail, but I'm just going to list some things;

- When I'm alone, yet surrounded by so many people I feel a boundary, like some sort of see-through brick wall, is around me. It's see-through because I feel as though I can't escape it, people can see me acting like some sort of idiot.

-I feel like it's my fault I'm this way, I've been trying to find friendships but every time they just drift away and ignore me. I feel like I'm boring or something.

-Recently there's this one girl that I feel that represents "my brain" she always points out every embarrassing thing I do and she just doesn't show any sincerity. She has a really close friend that literally lets her do anything, so I being so friendless is weak to her.

- The thing is that I like expressing things to certain people I trust like family, but when it comes to people at school or other social areas I feel judged every time a word slips out of my mouth. It's ironic because I usually tell myself just to get over it, but it always returns.

-I don't really have any visual symptoms, I'm not known to get panic attacks. But I do always feel this stabbing sensation in my stomach and my heart beat rises at times. I sometimes question if I have social anxiety or not because this whole thing feels like a light switch.

Have any tips?

From,
Kaitlyn*

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Dear Kaitlyn*,

Hey, beauty, thanks for writing to me. I apologize for taking a few weeks to answer your letter. Many things have happened, then I took a week off from posting any updates. Thank you for being so patient with me and being supportive.

Having social anxiety disorder (SAD) is something I understand personally! Mine isn't extreme every time, but it has its moments. The first symptom you listed is like you're suffocated and limited to what you can do. I believe this is because you're unsure of how people may react to you. Due to this, you kind of close yourself off out of fear. Having that suffocated feeling is like you want to say or do something, but that "brick wall"  is stopping you. It is sort of like a hole that you cannot climb out of.

The second thing — this is not your fault! You can't help how you feel. It's natural to be nervous and fear how people will react, I think that's part of growing up and learning who you are. You're not boring, Kaitlyn*. When you have a friend that you want to talk to, try to talk about simple things. Bring up topics like music, TV, movies, books, boys/girls, etc. Talk about stuff that's easy to bring up, something that doesn't require a yes or no answer.

The girl that points out everything is a bully! There is no way to sugar coat it if she points out anything you think is a flaw then she is a bully. Bullies prey on our weak spots, and that's what this girl is doing. Stand up to her. Confront her and ask her if she feels superior for making fun of you. Bullies are weak! They have so many things going wrong in their lives, so they try to bring others down. Don't let her win, you're stronger than her!

The symptoms you described, the nervous feeling and increase in heart rate, are symptoms of social anxiety. I will include this and other symptoms below in a photo. You may have other symptoms, but you don't realize it or classify them as social anxiety symptoms.

You express yourself freely around family and people you trust because you know their true intentions. With people you don't know very well you don't know how they will react, so that kicks the fear in the place again. It's completely normal to feel this way. Everyone likes to be accepted, but if we're not accepted we go into shutdown mode and close ourselves off.