Dear Boo is an advice journal for anyone who needs someone to talk to. I listen and give my advice about any topic possible. So, things such as rape, eating disorders, psychological disorders, self-harm, suicide attempts, abuse, and much more, will...
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☝🏻Yes, sex is mentioned in this letter. No, it's not in detail. I still felt it needed an alert…so, consider this your alert!☝🏻
Dear Boo,
Hi, I'm Ashley*. I saw your Dear Boo book and I would like to tell you about my situation.
I'm 23 and dating this wonderful guy, Ethan*, who has been the best boyfriend I've ever had. We met during spring break in Panama City and I instantly fell for him. We've been together since March. I came down to his home state for the summer and decided to move down here to be with him because I lived all the way across the country.
We have only had sex once. It was the night we met, we both were a little drunk and can barely remember.
I have been sleeping and Ethan's* guest room ever since I came to stay. He told me to make my way to his bed one night when I'm ready to go deeper in our relationship.
Okay, he wants to marry me. I'm a little scared because guys tell me I'm boring, and I never thought I would be worthy enough for someone to take my hand in marriage. I feel like I want to marry him, but I'm scared and I don't know what to do.
—Ashley*
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Dear Ashley*,
Thank you for reaching out to me about your issue with Ethan*, it means a lot that you trust me with this information. I'm sorry it has taken a bit to get to your lighter. I deeply apologize for the delay. I gave him a name so I wouldn't keep referring to him as "that guy" or "your boyfriend", I hope that the name Ethan* is okay to use.
You and Ethan* must have made a deep connection during spring break. Packing everything up and moving is a big deal. It's really great how Ethan* respects you and your relationship. Some people think just because you have sex once that you're okay with having sex in the future at any time. That is definitely not true! Consent must be given each time you have sex.
Ethan* seems very sweet and respectful. He's letting you take control of the relationship, doesn't force you to have sex, and let you choose where to sleep.
Ashley*, it's up to you if you're ready to have sex with Ethan* again. Take things at a pace that you're comfortable with. Listen to your body, mind, and soul—you will know when the time is right.
The last (and first) time the two of you had sex, you both were very drunk. Try not to have alcohol around you until your 110% comfortable letting go of yourself around anyone. Many times alcohol changes our views of certain topics, especially sex. Everything feels more carefree when we have a little liquid courage in us. Plus, hormones are heightened when we drink.
You definitely need to be extra safe since you are not near family and friends, and you're away from your hometown—until you reach a level where this place becomes your new home.
