365 Days- Book I

158. Party Animal

December 5, 2018

"Have you ever gone to a party you didn't want to leave? Or do you hate parties? Write about it!"

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I dislike parties. Period. There are no two ways about it. 

Parties involve me dressing up (I am two ways about this, though, there are times I like dressing up and at others, it is what turns me off) and smiling (even at those people whom I would like to dunk into a pot of simmering oil - alright that is brutal and barbaric - maybe through a jug of juice or ice water) and indulging in small talk (why exactly is it called small talk - when you speak in loud voices and cover every conceivable topic under the sun or rather, in the universe, and the confidence of the speaker is inversely proportionate to their knowledge of the topic).

Then there is the music, loud and indistinct, blaring the newest 'hit' songs, in a mish-mash of languages, guess that is what linguistic unity translates to, the songs contains words from as many languages as possible, sung or rather screamed in beat with the thundering drums. There are parties where music does not blare and are hence tolerable but the worst are those which serve as stage for the budding performers of arts - you have a makeshift stage and someone gets on to it with a mike and starts singing. And if your luck is mean, you will find a few other accompanying them on instruments. Trust me, it takes a great deal of courage to sit through and a great deal of strength not to give in to the very tempting though of strangling the singer, very slowly with bare hands. No wonder parties are stressful - the mind has to constantly override the body's need to choke the living daylights of the people.

Then there is the food - same everywhere - I wonder it all the caterers are actually one big team with different names, anywhere you go, the food looks and tastes the same. You could be surprised, either it is too good or absolutely bad, but such occasions are few and far between. It does not matter what cuisine the food is inspired by, it looks between the shades of red to orange and all of them have 'garam masala' in it, from Chinese to Italian to Mediterranean. The noodles and pasta would be dripping in oil and the breads, I am going to stop here.

 Last is the commute - I will not starting on the traffic and parking woes - but you do get it why I hate parties? If I wanted to meet up with friends, lets us do in someone's house, where as long as we wear something it is fine, food is what we can cook or just order in, we eat in plates or directly from the packets, conversation is more of teasing and jokes and the music is uncontrollable laughter. 

Now that is a party. Anyone game for it?

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Word count 478