𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖋 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖓, 𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖋 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑

Mazikeen #17

Completely upset I went to the hut in the forest in which Frigga brought me once. I felt my pulse raising just like my anger so I kicked against my bed. It hurt but the pain kind of calmed me down. They will leave you just like your parents did. Everyone will leave and you will be alone... again and again. It echoed through my mind. Don't let the Avengers win your heart because they will break it into pieces. My breathing got faster I just couldn't help it. I sat down and tried to calm myself but my thoughts drove me crazy. You will end up on the streets again, more broken than ever before after you started to trust the Avengers. Now I could whether hear nor see anymore. There was just fear and the wish to die. I somehow recognized, that my blades appeared and the only thing which could save me was to hurt myself so I rammed my blade into my left arm.  After I got back the ability to see I continued with small cuts. Seeing this amount of blood, streaming out of my arm let me get dizzy but that didn't matter. I somehow made it to the bed and drifted away immediately.

A heavy pain woke me up. I groaned as I saw my blade sticking in my hand. Ouch! I pulled it out. It was a deep, bloody wound, which looked very nasty. »Why are you still here?« I yelled at my blades. »I am totally calm I don't know what you want.« Shouting I stood up. I was so angry that these annoying blades were still there, so I rammed one of them into the ground. »GO....A...WAY!!!« I screamed in anger.

»They won't disappear that way.« A voice appeared beside me. I looked at the doorframe and saw Loki leaning against it. »Experience huh? Tell me do I have this shit because of you?« Loki grinned. »No Mazikeen, you just have the ability to create illusions because of me and I have it because of mother.« He explained. I moaned. If my wounds wouldn't have hurt that much I would have said something sassy but it was intolerable. »Do you know how they get away?« I asked instead. »You know it too. You have to calm down.« I sighed in annoyance. »I am! The hell I am totally relaxed!« I screamed because it hurt so much. Loki sat down in front of me and took my hands. I gasped in pain but let him do what he wanted to do. »Look at me.« My father ordered. I looked him in the eyes. Immediately I wanted to enter his mind but this damn wall of protection didn't let me. Loki apparently recognized it because he looked a bit confused but then he grinned, as if he understood what I could do. »You have to focus.« He told me, but the only thing I felt was that he was somehow proud. Why? Because I have these abilities? »Don't fight it, just let me in.« I begged him. He smiled. »That would be too easy, try harder Mazikeen.« Challenge accepted!

I tried to find a way around this black hole, called Loki's mind but there was just emptiness. I looked for any kind of light in it and finally found a small but bright point. I entered it and finally felt the huge amount of feelings in him. The sadness, the guilt, the proudness and especially the relief. I went deeper and found out that he was quite broken on the inside. The sorrow and guilt broke him apart. Suddenly I lost the connection. Loki pulled away and stood up. »Well done.« He said cold and kind of embarrassed. Then he turned away from me. Wow... didn't expect he is that broke tho.

I looked down at my hands and noticed that my blades were gone. »Thanks.« I said and he turned back to me. Loki bandaged my wound care. »Somewhere else?« He asked and I shook my head. My underarm was full of bleeding scars from earlier, but he shouldn't know that I was cutting myself...no one should.

He helped me up and we went outside in the forest. »An Avenger now huh?« He said and I grinned. »Jealous?« I responded and he snorted. »Absolutely not.« But I felt a little bit of regret in him. »You have something, that belongs to me Loki.« We walked along the path through the forest. »Uh, what is it?« He asked. I figured how to let him know and decided to show him the memory in which he gave me a dagger. I took his hand and let him see.

After it Loki laughed and pulled out a dagger, I took it and frowned. »That's not the same as in my memory.« I said skeptically. »No I lost it but that's my favorite one.« He told me. What followed was a long, deep look in each other's eyes.

»There you are! We were so worried lady Mazikeen you can't just run around on a planet you don't even know.« Thor shouted in relief and destroyed our moment. I laughed. »Well let's say I have experiences with that.« I said and gave Loki a grin. »It's already dinnertime, I will bring you to your room, mother and some maids will dress you and everything.« Thor explained and I nodded.

»We will meet at seven o'clock, be ready.« He ordered as he leads me to my room. I entered and Frigga and three other women waited inside. »Finally. Uh, darling what happened to you, you're so dirty? Clean yourself first and then we will see what to wear.« Frigga announced happily and I entered the bathroom to take a shower.