Trapped ღ j.t

Ch. 50 Butt Dialling and Other Relationship Savers

{ J A D E }

I am going to kill myself.

It's not like I have anything to live for anyways.

I don't deserve to be happy ever again. I deserve to feel everything I'd made her feel. Leigh was right. I am an ignorant bitch who doesn't deserve Perrie, and I never will.

"Ready?" Jesy asked from behind me. I was currently leaning against the wall of our dressing room, because after Perrie had walked out, I'd almost broken down in tears. I'd hit rock bottom, I'd lost the love of my life. Because, like I said, I'm an ignorant bitch.

A bitch that still had a show to do.

I straightened up and nodded at jesy.

"Yeah. Let's get this over with."

***

Well, this is shaping up to be the worst concert I'd ever given. I was missing my cues, forgetting lyrics, tripping when I danced. My heart just wasn't in it.

The beginning notes to Wings started to play, signalling the end of the concert. Instinctively, my eyes moved to the other side of the stage, where Perrie was bobbing along to the music as we all began to sing the opening chorus. I met her gaze and started to mouth, "I'm sorry," to her, hoping it was a start to make up for what I'd said and done. But when she realised what I was doing, she gave me a disappointed frown and turned away, ignoring me for the rest of the show.

I closed my eyes tightly, swatting away the single tear that trailed down my face as Jesy began her solo. But one look at the fans in the front row, and I knew they'd seen it. The time came for my solo. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. I couldn't do it. Not like this.

I turned around and handed my mic to Jesy before running offstage, not caring what they did with the rest of the song. I'd let my fans down, but then again, letting people down seemed to be happening quite a lot with me lately.

I ran straight for the dressing room, locking the door behind me before collapsing onto the floor. I immediately started crying again - full body, coughing and hiccupping, messy cry. I cried until I felt an arm go around my shoulder, which made me jump a mile. I didn't know someone had been in the room with me.

"Wanna talk about it?" Adam asked, stroking my hair back.

I sniffed and nodded, resting my head on his shoulder. I told him everything. I told him about all the guys who'd hit on Perrie. I told him about her rule to keep me away from her. I told him about breaking that rule several times. I told him about what she said to Leigh last night. I told him about breakfast this morning, when I'd given back her promise ring, on a chain, only to get in back four hours later. I told him about Jaron and her leaving for the afternoon, and me seeing the picture of them kissing. I'd jumped to conclusions and lost my cool. I told him the details of our argument, then of Leigh and I's scream fight, which resulted in Perrie breaking up with me.

"Oh hun," Adam lamented, rubbing my back. "You're such an idiot. A cute idiot, but an idiot nonetheless."

"Idiot doesn't even come close to what I am. I'm a monster."

He pulled away, grabbing my cheeks to make me look him in the eye. "So what are you gonna do about it?"

I growled softly at him, frustrated. "What is there to do? I ruined everything! She thinks I don't want her anymore!"

***

{ P E R R I E }