Fadimatu

Chapter 39

Na'im
Tun farkon haduwata da Fadima ina kallonta gabana ya fadi ba tare da sanin daliliba, masifar da nayi mata kuwa nayine saboda raina ya baci sosai banaso ta zama daya daga cikin matasan yanzu marasa kamunkai shiyasa na katseta tun kafin takai ga gayamin abinda takeson fada, bayan mun tafi ta tsayamin a rai burina kawai na kuma ganinta ba tare da nasan me zanyi mataba idan na gantan amma dai nasan wani abu ke jana har ya maida ni store dinsu muka sakeyin fada, bayan mun dawo Tj ya tasaji a gaba da surutun wai sai na koma nayi bincike a kanta maybe muna da hadi da fari naki amma sai me? Ina zuwa store dinsu suka bani address dinta naje sai gashi na samo uncle dina dana dade ina nema ashe yana Nigeria, a lokacin da nake koyaushe tare da ita sai na yadda da abinda zuciyata take gayamin kullum cewa sonta nake, na fara rainon soyayyar tare da hope na tunda yar uncle dinace hakan na nufin akwai possibility na zan sameta uncle ba zai hanani itaba, abinda ban saniba shine ashe tana da wanda takeso yakesonta, a ranar nayi bakin ciki sosai ya akai wai da wadannan yan shekarun nata har ta fara soyayya? Yaushe ta hadu dashi har ta fara soyayya? Nan na dau damarar bazan giving up ba zan cigaba da rainon soyayyata tare da amfani da duk wata dama dazan samu wajen dawo da hankalinta kaina, amma hakan sai ya haddasa fada mai tsanani tsakanina da ita, zuciyata ba karamin zafi takeyiminba idan har naji tana maganar Saif komai tace Saif ba tare da sanin irin konamin zuciyar da hakan keyiba, ranar da najisu kuwa ita da Halifa yana rarrashinta akan wai ta bimu Niger ita kuma tana fadin bazataba sai Saif ya dawo ba karamin ciwo zuciyata tayiba wato saboda wani Saif har zata kinmu a matsayin yan uwama balle na furta Mata soyayyata a matsayin saurayi?
Ban taba fatan wani abu ya sami Saif ba duk da hakanne zai bani damar samun Fadima amma ban taba kawowa ko a kaina wani abu zai iya samunsaba amma haka Allah ya dauke kayansa ya tafi ya barmu a duniyar ba tare da yafi sonmu ko yafi sonsaba sai dan kwanakin daya debar masa sun kare, a lokacin na tattara maganar soyayyata na ajiye a gefe domin tausayinta da nakeji a lokacin da ta dauki son duniya ta dora akansa alokacinne kuma aka daukeshi aka barta babu kuma yadda zatayi. Bayan dawowarmu Niger feelings dina suka fara neman fin karfina saboda yawan zaman da mukeyi tare da yawan wayar da muke, kullum ina tare da ita ga wata shakuwa da ta shiga tsakaninmu ba tare da na shiryaba kuma banason na sanar da ita abinda ke zuciyata domin nasan the moment na gaya Mata zata daina kulani maybe ma ta Fara gaba dani Wanda bazan iya jurewaba, ranar danayi subutar bakin gaya Mata ina sonta kuma ina son aurenta bayan na koma daki babu irin tunanin da banyiba wai babu yadda zakayi ka maida maganane bayan ka furtata? Yanzu yaya zanyi mata? Haka inaji ina kallo suka koma makaranta ina tsaye ta window din dakina ina kallonta har suka fita da gidan. Ranta a bace yake dan fuskarta a turbune take kuma nine na bata Mata ran laifinane ni na janyo, haka na hakura na cigaba da punishing kaina ta hanyar daina kiranta duk da hakan ba karamin takura rayuta yayiba har kasa bacci nake saboda rashin jin muryarta, Tj yayi ta bina akan menene matsalata yaga yanayina ya canja amma nace masa ba komai.
Ina kwance bayan tafiyarta da kwanaki uku ina tunanin mafita dan kirjina har wani ciwo yakemin saboda rashin jinta kwana biyu naji wayata na vibrating, banza nayi da ita saboda abinda ke kaina ma yafi karfina balle mai kiran, kamar daga sama kuma wata zuciyar tace min idan itace kuma fa? Ai kuwa da sauri na mike na dauki wayar ita dince kuwa dan haka na dauka na saka a kunnena sai dai kuma na rasa ta inda zan farayi mata magana sai sauri da numfashina ya kara har kirjina na dagawa da sauri da sauri, duk shiru mukayi na wani lokaci sannan ta kashe wayar ba tare da itama tacemin komaiba, nan hankalina ya Kara tashi nayi ta kiranta taki dauka dan haka na taso da niyyar binta har zinder din. Ina fitowa da sauri muka hadu da dady yana koyon tafiya yana ganina ya fara murmushi dan haka dole naje gareshi na gaisheshi yace "sai ina kuma wannan saurin haka?" Sai a lokacin na fahimci me nake shirin yi wai a wannan lokacin zan tafi zinder da? Lallai soyayya mahaukaciyace idan na tafi yanzu kam ai nakai wajen 3am kafin na kai garin zinder dan haka kawai na shafa kai nace "ba ko'ina kawai gajiya nayi da zaman gidan Zan dan fita na sha iska" Murmushi yayimin sannan yace "shikenan sai kazo ka tayani hira indai da gaske babu inda zaka" haka na zauna muna hirar amma sam hankalina ba a kansa yakeba har ya gane dan kansa yace "Na'im wai menene yake damunkane naga gaba daya hankalinka ba anan yakeba" ahankali na sauke ajiyar zuciya nace "babu komai dady ba abinda yake damuna" murmushi yayi yace "shikenan a rinka daukan rayuwa dai da sauki ana dagewa da addu'a dan duk abinda ka mikawa ubangaji cikin lamuranka yafi zuwa da kyau saboda sai ya zaba maka mafi alkhairi, kaji ko?" Kai na daga nace "in sha Allah dady" dan wannan maganar da nayi da dady sai naji zuciyata tayi sanyi ba kamar lokacin da na fito daga gidaba dan haka na dan sami nutsuwa muka cigaba da hira da dady har wajen magriba mukayi alwala muka shiga masallacin dake bakin get din estate din namu mukayi sallah sannan muka dawo gida tare.
Washe gari tun da asuba na dau hanyar zinder dan haka kafin wani lokaci na kai, ina shiga na fara tunanin a inda zan ganta maybe ma tana lectures ne, bansan abinda Zan gaya mataba amma kawai so nake na ganta idan mun hadu nayi tunanin abinda zan gaya mata amma dai for now ganinta kawai nake da bukata. Ina parking bayan wasu classes na dauko wayata da niyyar kiranta na hangota ta fito daga wani aji, kallonta na tsayayi ba karamin kyau tayiminba duk da fuskarta a hade take, na jima ina kallonta kawai ko kyaftawa banasonyi wani sanyi nakeji a zuciyata, banyi auneba naga wani Wanda bansan ko wayeba da fitsararsa ya rife mata ido ta baya, jikinta ba karfi dan haka a hankali ta fara shafa hannunsa, wani irin abune ya taso ya tokaremin makogaro idona gaba daya ya rufe ko gani banayi zuciyata na wani irin zafi, a zuciye na balle murfin motar na fito na nufi inda suke da niyyar ina zuwa zan shaki wuyan dan iska sai ya daina numfashi ita kuma ta gama karatun, sai dai ina zuwa wajen tana kallona naji gaba daya jikina yayi sanyi na kasa yin komai tamkar an zaremin lakka, dakyar na iya kamo hannunta da niyyar gida zan maida ita ta gama karatun amma shima muna shiga motar na kasa aikata komai na rasa dalilin da yasa ko nayi niyyar yin abu indai Fadima na wajen bana iya aikata komai bana iya tabuka komai sai abinda takeso. Naji dadin maganganun da mukai duk da tace bata sona amma bata kina kuma hakan na nufin if I try harder zan iya maida ta takoma sona nan da lokaci dan kankani dan haka na saki jiki nasha kida na, bayan tahowata ma gudu kawai nayi ta fallawa ina shan kida wani irin farin ciki nakeji kamar anyimin bushara da aljanna, har na kai gida ina cikin farin ciki alokacin kuwa dare yayi dan haka ina shiga dakina na wuce na shiga bandaki na sakarwa kaina ruwa mai zafi yadda zan ware gajiyar jikina, ina cikin wankan na ke tunanin in sha Allah nima na kusa na koma gidana na kusa yin aure kamar sauran mutane saboda ina hango nasara tsakanina da Fadima, sai dana gama abinda nake sannan na fito ina fitowa naga wayata na kara da sauri na dauka da mamakin batayi bacci ba? Ina dauka najita tana kuka wai tayi zaton mutuwa zanyi, abin yayimin dadi kuma ya batamin rai, yayimin dadine saboda hakan na nufin ta damu dani kenan amma raina ya bacine saboda wuni da tayi tana kuka a kaina. Bayan naji saukar numfashinta alamar tayi bacci na kashe wayar tare da kwanciya a wajen ina addu'ar Allah yasa kar gobe ta tashi na wani ciwon banason jininta ya hau sabodani.
Sai da asuba na farka naga ashe a wajen bacci ya daukeni da towel din jikina ko kaya bankai ga sakawaba, ina mikewa naje masallaci na dawo sañnan na kirata, bayan ta dauka nace "mi sœur a tashi ayi sallah" cikin muryar bacci tace "nayi ai " ina dariya nace "kai mi sœur wannan muryar dai ta baccice zakicemin wai kinyi" dariya kawai ta fara tace "da gaske Yayana nayi bacci na koma" yace "yauwa yanzu ki kwanta ki cigaba da baccinki kinji? Karkije class inaso ki hutane kinji ko? Sannan karki kara irin wannan dan Allah dan wallahi bansan inda zansa rayuwataba idan wani Abu ya sameki"  yar dariya tayi tace "karka damu Yayana in sha Allah bazan karaba kuma babu abinda zai sameni in sha Allah" wani farin cikine yake kuma lullubeni nace "yauwa kanwata maza a cigaba da bacci" sannan mukayi sallama natashi na shirya kuma na nufi Chad.