HER (GirlxGirl) [Completed]

Chapter sixty: HER

Cameron's POV

I sigh, letting the words play out in my head for a moment before pressing the pen down onto the paper and writing but nothing was coming to me.

I ripped out the paper from the notebook then balled it up and threw it in the trash next to the desk. I placed my head in my hands and stared at the empty paper in front of me, no words coming to my mind.

Setting the pen down, I was done trying to find words but nothing was coming to me. I decided to leave it alone and let my thoughts consume me later on.

I sat there, staring at the desk before hearing my door open in my room.

Looking over, I saw Lexie leaning in the doorway smiling at me. "We gotta go." She tapped her watch that was on her wrist.

I closed the notebook before standing up and looking in the mirror, making sure my hair was presentable and the dress I had on wasn't too much.

"You look great, sis." Lexie smiles at me.

I smile back before sighing. "Thanks." I walked over to dresser and grabbed the bottle of perfume.

"But you won't accept it, huh?"

Turning my head, I looked at her before shrugging. "Of course not."

Once she left, I stood there for a moment after I had sprayed my body then started having thoughts running through my head.

The same thoughts that has been there for years, that comes and goes whenever they please.

Thoughts that make me wish I was dead or someone else, because nothing is ever good enough in my eyes. Nothing is ever perfect and my mind nor body will ever accept that.

Living in my head is a nightmare, most days. I can't seem to get out of it, driving me crazy to the point where my emotions are all over the place.

Accepting who I am is difficult because I wish to not be who I am.

Suicidal thoughts are always on my mind, no matter what I'm doing or where I am. These thoughts will keep me from doing a lot of things that I want to do in my life.

Medications has been prescribed to me more than once. But no medication has ever stopped the growing thoughts from inside of my mind.

But it's who I am.

Taking a deep breath, I walked out of my room then down the stairs, counting every step I'm taking until I reach the bottom.

Walking into the kitchen, Lexie was pouring a glass of drink as Brailynn was sitting at the counter in front of her. Kim was also sitting on the counter on the other side, watching them.

I lean in the doorway as I watched my daughter grab the glass from my sisters hands.

Lexie caught sight of me then smiled as she placed the drink back into the fridge. "If we leave now, we should be able to make it."

Brailynn turns to look at me before running towards me, jumping into my arms. "Where's Micah?"

I smile as I sat her back down on the ground. "She's already there."

Making sure we had everything, we all left the house and not a minute later. We had about thirty minutes to get there in time before the ceremony started, which I was more than happy to see all my students graduate.

These last ten months has been nothing but a roller coaster ride. Something I never thought I'd experience in my life, but glad I got to. I'm glad I made the choice of moving here, even though I didn't know what was waiting for me.