Dead Inside

21.

Sabre sat at the shore of the lake as the sun began to rise, making the night disappear. The stars had vanished and the clouds had turned gold while the sky was pink and bright blue. A small bird called out, greeting the morning of the new day with its sweet song. Sabre wished he could greet the new day just as the birds do. His hand was completely disintegrated and his arm began to break into particles. His shoulder had stopped breaking to pieces, and so did his neck, but they left large black holes that led to nothing but air and darkness. He breathed in the morning smell of fresh air and let it out in a long, quiet sigh. The God of the Steves had saved his life the other day but now was willing to help Sabre had a peaceful death. Should Sabre consider that as help? 

"Hard time sleeping?" Sabre turned to look at the approaching Steve. It was Rainbow Steve. 

Sabre nodded. "I probably won't sleep until all this is over."

Rainbow Steve said nothing. He joined Sabre and sat down next to him. "I don't understand why the God of the Steves won't help you. Sure, you may be human, but what does that have to do with now? He should be helping you, not waiting for you to die like every other human in this world."

"Rainbow Steve, he's helping me die," Sabre said. "He understands how painful this is, and that we're great friends, but you heard him. He refuses to help me live." Sabre looked down at his reflection in the lake's waters. "I guess we should trust him."

"But Sabre-" 

"He's trying to protect you and all Stevekind." Sabre cut his friend off. "I've been trying to do that ever since I met all of you. But this is not my world. I feel like I'm interfering with the God of the Steves' job, and I think he's right to think I should leave."

"Then go back to your world," Rainbow Steve told him. 

Sabre shook his head. "I can't do that. Even if I wanted to, the Steves' air is still in me and it will continue to kill me. I have no choice but accept this."

Rainbow Steve sighed. "If that's what you want, there's no point in trying to change your mind. I'll help you."

Sabre closed his eyes. "Thank you."

*   *   *

Sabre had left the group of friends to sit alone beside the cliffside on the other side of the valley. The sun has fully risen and the valley was bright with its light.

"Aren't you hungry?" Galaxy Steve had asked him when Alex came back with an armful of tropical fruit. 

Sabre had shaken his head. "I'll eat later."

To be honest, Sabre wasn't hungry at all. He hasn't eaten for many days and he grew weaker with every passing day. But he didn't care. If he was going to die, might as well have it over with so he didn't have to see his friends mourn or grieve as he dies slowly. 

That moment, an idea sparked in his mind. If he didn't want his friends to watch his slow death, he would have to leave. As much as he didn't want to, and as much as he knew it'll worry them, he believed he had to do this. But how will he sneak out without getting caught? Sabre huffed, he would leave at nightfall. As for that day, he would try to get answers on where he should go without anyone knowing what he was up to. And he knew who he was going to talk to.

"You look lost in thought," Sabre looked up to see Alex. 

"I guess," Sabre replied. "I just wonder what it'll be like without me here for you guys."

"It won't be the same," Alex told him. 

The two were silent for some time before Sabre spoke. 

"You seem to have known the God of the Steves when we arrived," he said. 

"The truth is, I do know him," Alex responded, taking Sabre by surprise a bit. "I'm his personal assistant and niece." 

"Why didn' you bring it up before?" Sabre asked. 

"I'm not actually supposed to tell anyone, just for safety measures, but I trust you," Alex explained. 

Sabre blinked. "Do you mind explaining how you're the niece of the God of the Steves?"

"The God of the Steves has a brother," Alex said. "The two protect the Steves' land. The God of the Steves brother fell in love with the God of the Alexes, and the two had me as a daughter. But then the God of the Steves' brother went missing and the God of the Alexes fell ill. She gave me to the God of the Steves to raise. She told him that I shouldn't know who my parents are."

"Then how do you know you're his niece?" Sabre questioned.

"Because," Alex said. "He told me. I met a stranger in the woods who told me the God of the Steves wasn't my true parent, but my uncle. I asked him when I returned if it was true. And it is."

"Oh," Sabre said. "I wonder where your parents could be now."

"I heard the God of the Alexes had died from her sickness," Alex said. "But I'm not so sure about my father."

Sabre blinked. Alex's mother was dead and her father was missing. What if I find him when I run away? Would he be able to tell Alex about it before he dies?