The Last Mermaid

~ 40 ~

I see the Sleeping Beauty in my dreams. All the time, she is staring at me, begging me to bring her to life. 

I've never really dated anyone. Never had a desire for anyone. I've always assumed that I just fall in love with certain men really hard, and I would never be like other friends that date for convenience sake. I'm 24, for God's sake!

There was this one time my Dad joked that I was gay. I got mad, saying "you couldn't be more wrong" - except for that time I met her

She began to appear in my dreams - guiding me to her breasts, lovingly showing off her curves. I've never really felt desire as strongly as I did for her. 

"Admit that you're gay" she says

"I'm not. I've loved men all my life. I've cried so hard over men."

"But me?" she whispers, swaying over me. 

I smile. 

"You're different" I say. 

She goes down on me, and then comes back up. She's crying. 

"I have something to admit. I'm still alive. I'm trapped. A witch lay a curse on me - trapping me within a castle. It is said that I can only wake by true love's kiss and..."

She stares at me, tears streaming down her face. 

I sigh. 

"Oh sweetie" I say. "Of course I love you. I want nothing more than you in my arms, but how do I find you?"

She gives me the name of the castle. 

...

Of course, I never really believed in such things - that there's some 'Sleeping Beauty' waiting in a castle for me to wake her up. To think that I made up this dream because I'm so lonely! 

Eventually, I'll have to settle down like many of my friends. The love, let alone dream infatuation, is nothing more than a fairytale. 

The prospect of going to Scotland is intriguing to me however. Maybe going on a trip is just what I need to put this fantasy behind me. 

...

I'm going on a tour that includes the castle. We start in Edinburgh, taking the bus up. I feel alone as the ride continues, and it's like I am instantly back in high school again. One night, we go to the pub, and I get drunk enough to join the dance. I attract the attention of an older Indian man. 

He's everything I don't like about men, persistent in trying to woo me. I tell him he's "nice." I open up to him on long bus rides. I even share with him some of my poetry. Something about it changes him - he thinks it's beautiful. He's also certain that I like him, telling me point blank that he's offering himself for a physical hookup. 

I ask him "Honestly, what gave you the gall to think you can just as me something like that?"

He says, "Well, you can be one pretty ungrateful woman, aren't you?" and then proceeds to tell me why I've made the wrong decision - then turns his affections to another girl. 

When we finally reach the castle, towards the end of our trip, my heart is pounding. I break away. I drink the stars, climbing to one of the towers, throwing myself off a hole that leads to the ground below. 

I enter into darkness. My legs cannot move. I think I've broken them. 

There is Aurora. I drag my body to her bed, bleeding all the while. I kiss her beautiful, petal-rose lips. 

She awakes. 

"You're bleeding" she says. 

"Thanks for teaching me to love again."

She kisses me, and wraps me in her embrace, until I fall asleep.