I have been going to bed early for the last 2 days, which seems to be a kind of acting upon spontaneity rather than a new habit I am trying to build up.
In fact, I can't help but noticing this pattern over time, despite never really taking it seriously. Let's put it this way: my behavior is actually the result of my mental state, in other words, I completely have no control over my actions, which are nothing but a series of impulsiveness. For example, there are always several days each month when I feel like being on top of the emotional graph and thus, being extra eager to practice good habits or start new plans. Whereas, on the other two low ends of the graph, I would always withdraw into my own world, feel like being constantly judged and refuse to make any effort to improve the situation.
It was only yesterday that I came up with a reasonable explanation for it: my menstrual cycle. It turns out that my mental state is determined by my physical condition.
It must be quite amusing to say it out loud this way, because it is clearly a general knowledge. However, ironically, I never include myself when it comes to femininity.
As a result, even though I have observed my girl friends come to terms with their physical manifestation long long ago, it is only the first time I have ever come to confront myself.
Frankly, I do wish to do something about this. But as I have just said, it is my first time. Should I get used to it or learn to control it?
I am not confident that I can do the latter though.
Anyway, today is a good day so I should take advantage of it and do something helpful :)
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