Tempting (Man x Man)

Tempting - Chapter 31: The Bill

*Small Trigger Warning: Hints at Anxiety Attack*

"I need to get back to work Calvin. I'm really appreciative that you listened to me. I think you should get back to work too."

"when you're mentally ill."

I clench my teeth as the words grip me like a woven rope. My ears

burn, my throat feels on fire, sweat holds me down like I've just waded in a ocean. I grab out to

something, anything, but all I feel is air slipping through my fingers. Then I see other fingers,

pointing at me, judging me as I try to cover up my body. I'm drowning in it. I know I'm drowning

and I can't do anything about it. Breathe, breathe. Take deep breaths and just wake up!

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My eyes flip open as my breathes come up short. I place my hand on my chest as I sit up

sluggishly. The morning light is barely drifting through my window. I look at my clock. Its only

4 am! Great. My stomach growls loudly as lay back on my pillow, crossing my hands bellow my

belly button. I have one more hour to sleep, but after the sweat drenching dream I had I prefer

to just lay awake, staring up at my cracked ceiling. Black dots swarm my vision in a infinite loop.

I can feel the cold sweat from my nightmare sitting on the base of my forehead. Its so hot in here

all of a sudden. Its almost like I can hardly breathe. My stomach squirms and gurgles as I push

into it roughly with my elbows. I can't afford to eat anything now; if I even go off my schedule for

a second I know I'll just binge eat and feel atrocious afterwards. I can't do that, not again.

I'm so close... But the loud angry growl of my demon within emits around my apartment's walls,

plastering me with shame. Imagine if someone were to hear my stomach growl at work, they

wouldn't let me hear the end of it. I can already here the snarky comments about my weight,

how I should just find the nearest fast food place. Even, I can't waste any of my money on any

binge sprees. Oh wait, today's the day... My heart sinks as I realize today is the day were I might

end up homeless.

"I don't know what I'm doing." I gasp out, hiding my face in my hands as I start to panic.

"What am I going to do?" I know what I have to do, but I won't even take it into consideration,

especially after yesterday. There's no way I can ask David for money, for help. He clearly doesn't

want me.

I could never compare to someone like Ms. Collete, what was I thinking? My breaths continue to

come out short as I try to get more air. Its hurting my lungs, breathing in as much possible but

not getting anything out of it. What am I doing?

I continue to stare up at the ceiling when I hear a knock on my door. The first thing that comes to

mind is the landlord. Did she really come so early to throw me out? Is it finally happening? I

clutch my heart as I stand up, the knives in my stomach digging deeper into my sides.

Reluctantly, I walk over and stare through the hole in my door. As clear as the sun in the sky,

there was the landlord, her hair tied in a messy bun. She yawns slightly before knocking again.

"Hello? Hello! I know its early but I got a job to do."

Breathe, I need to breathe. Dots swarm my vision as I try to grasp for another breath.

I unlock the door and open, coming face to face with her bugged eyes.

"Hello Calvin Stewert."

"H-Hi. I mean hello. I... I'm so sorry that I couldn't... I tried, I really did but I couldn't do it-"

"What are you yapping on about?"

"I know that there's n-nothing you can do but please, I just need more t-time." I swallow thickly.

"Now I'm really confused. Time for what? I just came over to give you the receipt."

"What? R-Receipt for what?"

"For your bill." My blood ices over and my eyes broaden. What is she talking about? I haven't paid for anything...

"Why are you giving me that look? Is this some sort of prank or something?" She asks flummoxed.

"N-No! I hadn't paid for anything. Why are you giving me a receipt?"

"Well I have the paperwork here saying your rent that was due was paid off. I didn't get any other details then that." She hands over a small envelope and sure enough its the receipt to my

apartment rent. This can't be happening, this must be some sort of cruel joke that'll be ripped

from under me later on.

"You don't understand. Maybe there was some sort of mistake? I didn't get my check or anything, I even told you I would be p-paid next Sunday."

"Look sunny, this is not my problem. It says you paid your rent, that's all I know. If I was you, I would be dancing to the heavens by now." She scoffs as she turns around to leave. I close my

door slowly, a look of sheer confusion painted on my face. What was that? My rent... paid? I look

down at the envelope in my shaking hands as I slump against the wall. There must of been a

mistake in the system. Maybe... Maybe this is a good thing. If the system is messed up it gives

me enough time to attain the money and give it to them on Sunday, just before they fully figure

out that I'm not supposed to be here. I walk back to my couch and sit down, staring at my turned

off tv as the paper swings limply in my hand.

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I grab my bag as I sling it over my shoulder, looking timidly in my mirror. I clutch my stomach

and wince when it gurgles, clearly wanting me to shove it with every type of food imaginable. I

can't think too much about that, or I might actually do it.

Hello everyone! Hope you're having an amazing Friday. I wanted to say how appreciative I am of all of you. Thanks for sticking with me through this amazing experience. Its truly been amazing reading all your comments and support :). Enjoy this chapter!