This story based on 2 years after Erin left to go to New York to take a job to keep Bunny out of jail. I kept Alvin Olinksey alive in the story as well. At first the connection between Jay and Erin is tense but they soon find their way back into eac...
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Erin was sitting on the balcony with her morning coffee, she was meant to go to work in a couple days but after the incident with Noah leaving him felt like a horrible mistake. She hadn't spoken a word to Jay about it, she was scared of what he would say.
Jay woke up and quickly went looking for Erin, normal they would cuddle in the mornings for a little bit before he went for his morning jog, he got up and chucked a pair of sweats on. He slowly crept down the hallway peeping in Camilles room to find her sleeping soundly, then into Noah's which he was the same.
Just as he was about to walk downstairs he saw Erin through the lounge area sitting out on the balcony. He picked up a light blanket before making his way out.
"Hey you." He said wrapping the blanket around her and sitting down.
"Morning" she turned to him a smiled, her wedding rings glistening in the morning sun.
"What you doing out here?" He said confused.
"Just thinking"
"It's a little early to be thinking isn't it?" He chuckled, she just turned away ignoring him "Babe is something wrong?"
"I don't know if I can go back to work" Erin said as Jay slouched back in his chair letting out a sigh.
He rubbed his mouthed before resting his hand on her leg "Babe we can get help, we can get a sitter on the days they don't go to day care, we made it work with Noah and we will make it work with both of them."
"It's not about that, it's about the fact that our job is so risky and it worries me every single time we walk out that door that there's a chance that we aren't coming back" she said before sipping her coffee.
"Er come on, we both knew the risks when we became cops"
"I didn't exactly know that I would marry my partner and end up having two kids with him at the age of 34 and that's what worries me more, it's not just one of us it's both of us."
"Come on you love your job" Jay said squeezing her leg.
"I love my children so much more."
"I know" Jay nodded his head.
Suddenly they both heard cry's over the baby monitor. Erin got up and started walking inside "I haven't fully made up my mind yet, but please say you will support me"
Jay scratched the back of his neck and reluctantly said "Yeah of course" as she walked away to get Camille.
....................................
Jay had been sitting at work for a few hours, he had been going through surveillance footage on robbery that they had been assigned too.
Jay sighed and chucked his phone across his desk before getting up quickly and walking down to the tech room.
He walked and a saw Mouse on his computers doing whatever it is that he usually does.
"Hey man, please tell me you have a beer in there" Jay said leaning on the counter behind him.
Mouse gave him a concerning look and shook his head checking his watch "Man it's not even lunchtime."
Jay rubbed his hands on his face "Yeah I know."
"What's going on?"
"Who knew being a father and a husband would be so challenging" They both laughed.
"Man it still blows my mind, I never thought that you would be married and have 2 kids. I mean you were always the one that went out hooking up with a different girl every weekend."
Jay waved his hands around "That was a different time and make sure you don't bring that up with Erin. Don't really want my wife to know about my man whore days"
"Okay seriously though, what's going on?"
"She doesn't want to come back"
Mouse pulled off his headphones and fully turned around giving Jay his full attention "Like she doesn't want to come back to work ever?" Jay nodded "Oh man. So what does that mean? Lindsay loves her job, I mean this job needs people like her"
"I know. She just doesn't want to risk Noah and Camille growing up without her. After Noah getting kidnapped it's really put everything in perspective for her. She just really loves them, I mean so do I but I knew what I signed up for. Of course I want to make sure I get to go home to them every night but" Jay paused and sighed "I really just don't know man."
"She's a mother, that's what they do. Protect."
"Yeah your right, but she's worked so hard to get where she is. I just feel that if she gives all this up she will end up resenting someone. That someone probably being me"
"Jay just give her some time, this could just be a 24 hour thing."
"Yeah maybe"
................................
Back at home Erin was preparing dinner, she had made her decision, she was just hoping it was the right one.
She heard the door open, then she saw Jay. Of course Noah was great full to see him, like every night. Noah saw him as Chicago's superhero, she was so great full that Jay was the man he was.
Jay picked Camille up from her playmat and gave her a cuddle before walking over to Erin.
He leant down and gave her a kiss "Hey, how have these two been today"
"Good, Cammy is squirming around like a little worm, she is going to crawl any day now. And Noah done heaps of colouring and we also looked into swim school" Erin looked over to Noah as he was clapping and laughing at the tv.
"Huh, swim school hey. That's fun, when?"
"Oh haven't locked anything in yet" Erin said smiling as she took Cammy from him "Do you want to get Noah ready for dinner? I will go feed her and then put her down for bed"
"Sure thing, night sweet girl" Jay gave Camilles a kiss on the forehead and then called Noah over for dinner.
...........................
Jay read Noah a couple bedtime stories before he eventually fell asleep. Jay got up and slowly backed out of the room shutting the door behind him.
Once he got to their bedroom he went for a shower and then snuggled in to bed next to Erin who was ready a book.
"So did you make any decisions? I know it's only been like 12 hours but I need to know where your head is back."
"As much as I love our two beautiful babies, I know I need to go back. That job is who I am, it makes up a big part of me. I don't think I'm ready to give that up just yet." Erin said closing her book and turning to face Jay.
"What changed your mind?" He said confused, this was defiantly not how she was feeling this morning.
"I spoke to Olivia Benson. I mean she is the strongest woman I know and she is raising her little man while going out on the job 5 days a week. She spoke to me about the pros and cons. I mean she didn't say it was easy but she said that, she does this for him. For all the kids his age that are going to grow up in this place we call home. Whatever she can do to make it safe for him, she will do. I don't know, I guess that's just exactly how I feel. I know I'm only one person but I don't know maybe one day I can make a difference."
Jay cupped her cheek and kissed her "Just when I think I couldn't love you anymore you go and amaze me. I'm so proud to be able to call you my wife and raise our children with you."
"Jay you are a big part of this too. Having you out there to have my back just makes it a little easier."
