Defenceless l.s

Sixteen

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, preparing myself for the worst. The seconds I stood there felt like the longest in my life, I had no idea what he would do or say and if he kicked me out I had no were to go. I guess I could go to Zayn but we've just started talking again and if Liam found it in him to ever forgive me and maybe even take me back and then found out I've been staying with him, he would definitely never forget that. Just as I was about to knock again I heard footsteps approaching on the other side of the door. I could feel my heartbeat skyrocketing and my hands began to slightly sweat, I wiped them off on my pants and felt how they shook against my thighs.

My clothes started to feel very uncomfortable as my shirt stuck to my back. It was weird, like I was freezing but still just wanted to rip my clothes of becouse it was so fucking hot here. There must be something seriously wrong with these vents. I crossed my arms over my chest but decided that it would look too cocky. I want him to know I'm sorry, so I quickly uncrossed them and let them hang awkwardly by my side as I bounced on the heel of my feet. 

The lock turned and the door opened just a little bit. A woman stuck her head out through the slight gap and looked at me, her dirty blonde curls falling over her shoulders. "Can I help you?" She asked in a very high pitched voice. 
"I um, I actually live here, I told her. Who are you?" She got a knowing look on her face as her hazel eyes slowly examend me. She pursed her lips as she looked me up and down several times before she stepped aside and fully opened the door. "Oh I'm sorry, you must be Lewis," she said as I stepped in. 

"It's Louis," I told her with a polite smile as I looked around. "Where's Liam? He's supposed to be home," I asked her, confused by his absence. "Oh, he went to the store, he just left," she said with a plastered smile on her face. I did not like this girl, I'm not exactly sure what it was, but something about her just made my blood boil. 

"Oh"

I put my bag in the hallway beside my discarded shoes and walked into the kitchen, the girl following me. I took a seat at the table and she leaned against the counter and started picking on her ridiculously long nails. "So, what's your name?" I asked her, trying to strike up a conversation. "I'm Lindsey," she answered shortly. I nodded my head and looked down at my feet, not really knowing what to say.

I looked at her as she put up her hair in a ponytail. I noticed that her hair was a fading pink, but it was very light. She was wearing a red hoodie with 'NETFLIX' printed on it, I quite liked it, I had the same hoodie, Liam had gotten it for me when we were still in college. She was also wearing a pair of sweatpants that were pooling by her feet. 

As soon as I heard the front door open I got up from the chair so fast, it went half way across the room and almost fell over, but my feet were glued to the spot. I couldn't move, and before I knew it, Liam had stepped into the kitchen with a small paper bag in his hand that he handed over to Lindsey before turning around and his eyes landed on me. I felt like a deer caught in headlights, I didn't know what to say, how to apologize so it would be enough, but before I could open my mouth, "oh, Louis you're home. I didn't realize you'd get here so early," he said and smiled at me. "This is my friend Lindsey,  I assume you've already met," he said casually, like nothing's happened, like I haven't been away for almost a week. 

I just nodded my head, confused, "yeah, we've met." He's probably waiting for her to leave to get angry, I thought.

"Great," he said with a cheery smile and walked over to her. He whispered something in her ear and put his arm around her shoulder as she giggled. I felt a jealousy course through me at the sight. "When did you get back?" He asked as they walked into the living room.

"I just got back, like ten minutes ago." I told him as I followed behind them and glared daggers at this Lindsey's back. "Well, there is some leftover food from yesterday in the fridge, can you heat it up for us?" He asked without even looking at me. I cast my gaze to the floor and nodded, but then realized that he couldn't see me, "yeah, of course. Let me just change first" I told him quietly and walked over to our bedroom. I pulled out a clean t-shirt that I changed into but kept my jeans on. I pulled the shirt over my head and just flopped down on the bed. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, completely ruining my quiff. I let out a groan of frustration and rested my head in my hands as I felt tears prickle my eyes, I didn't even know why I was sad. I quickly squeezed them shut, I refused to cry again, I pressed the heels of my hand into my eyes to stop the tears before taking my tshirt on, I went to the bathroom and washed my face with cold water and could feel a slight headache building. 

I walked back into the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking out a light blue container with some pasta dish in it. I heated it up on the stove as I heard Liam and Lindsey laugh in the living room. I served up portions on three plates and made the table before calling them. I sat down beside Liam and Linsey in front of him. They made some small talk while they were eating but I mostly just sat there quietly picking on my food. When they were done, I took away their plates and scraped mine off and left them in the sink to go bid Lindsey goodbye. 

As soon as Liam closed the door behind her I turned to him,  "I am so sorry Liam, I know that I fucked up and that you are mad but please don't leave me," I begged him and went to take his hand, but he pulled away. My heart sank as tears threatened to fall. "But that's the thing, you always fuck up, you always do things that you know I don't want, that will make me mad. I told you no and you still stayed with him. And then you always expect me to forgive you!" He yelled at me. "I know, I know and I'm sorry, please just-

"No! I'm tired of this, you never listen to me! I told you no and you still did it, how can I trust you when you pull shit like this?" A few tears escaped as I let out a choked sob, it was pathetic, really. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm trying, I really am-

"Well, try harder" he yelled and I sank to the floor, my sobs wracking my body. "I don't know how" I cried. "Figure it out" he said and slammed the bedroom door behind him.