Trial of the Times

Chapter 29 - Snips

Anakin paces outside the Council chambers, knowing that the Council could well be talking about him. And the worst part, is that there's nothing he can do about it. He did things he regrets, true, but he still harbors the fear that he'll be expelled for his mistakes. Unlike for the other Jedi, he always seems to be held to a higher standard, where nothing less than perfect is tolerated.

He hates being afraid. Fear is a weakness; it means he's helpless, and there's nothing he hates more than that. If he can help it, he'd much rather not feel – or confront – his fears. He'd rather be upset at the person causing his fear though it's not a conscious decision. Crossing his arms, Anakin stalks to the window and stares out, trying to find something to distract himself.

He loathes waiting, especially when his future will be decided right here and now. The Council will know everything; there's nothing Obi-Wan can do anymore to protect him. They'll know about his marriage to Padme. They'll know about his massacre of the Tusken Raiders. They'll know about his touching – and using – the Dark Side, though he rather suspects many of them already could sense that.

Even now, surrounded by the Light in the Temple, he can feel the Dark Side calling to him. It wants him, but he's determined not to let it claim him. He can't Fall. If he does, he could end up dooming the galaxy. He doesn't want to be responsible for the suffering of millions of beings. He doesn't. But – but what if he's destined to Fall? Is that possible?

No. He can't think like that. It's not going to help him or anyone, for that matter. Closing his eyes, he begins raging silently against the Council. They don't care about his emotions, holding him to a perfect standard which he can't ever meet. He is human. He will feel emotions. He can be hurt. It's just not fair. He's not the object in some prophecy. He's a person, not a slave. How can any of this be right?

He's so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't even recognize the approaching Force signature. "Master?" a soft familiar voice pulls him back to the present.

Spinning around, a smile appears at the sight of his Padawan. "Ahsoka," he greets her as she launches herself into his arms.

"I heard rumors you were back," she murmurs, head resting on his chest, arms wrapped around him, "I missed you."

"I missed you too," he replies letting her go.

She steps back, looking him up and down. "Where were you?"

He raises an eyebrow considering the question. "Serenno," he answers at last.

She just stares at him a look of surprise entering her eyes. "Isn't that Separatist territory?"

Anakin shrugs, "Yes, but I didn't have a problem considering I was the personal guest of Count Dooku." She looks at him, probably trying to figure out if he's joking.

"Start over," she demands, "Why were you going with him?"

This is too much fun, but she really does deserve the whole story. Reluctantly, Anakin decides to just tell her a brief summary. "Palpatine is a Sith Lord, Darth Sidious," he explains, smirking when she nearly gasps with shock, "Dooku disagreed with what his master was trying to do, so he asked me to help stop him. We fought him in the Senate with Obi-Wan, but he escaped."

"What will you do now?" she inquires, "I want to help." Fearless as always.

A quiet laugh escapes him. "I knew you'd say that, Snips, but I have a bigger problem." As he remembers what the Council will soon discover, his amusement fades away, being replaced by cold trickles of fear.

"What's wrong, Skyguy?" Ahsoka asks quietly.

Sighing, he leans back against the wall, a grim expression on his face. "The Council has uncovered some – ah, let's just say they've discovered some indiscretions on my part which they may or may not expel me for."