Trial of the Times

Chapter 34 - A Conversation Long Overdue

"Can I talk to you?" Obi-Wan questions gently as he stands in Anakin's bedroom doorway. Late afternoon sunlight streams through the windows, giving the room a golden glow.

Does he have a choice? "Sure," Anakin replies with a half-hearted shrug. He shifts against the couch, eyes half-closed. After finishing the meeting with Dooku, he'd come straight here, closing himself in his room. It's peaceful and quiet, giving him a chance to collect his thoughts.

Obi-Wan sits down at the other end of the couch, regarding Anakin with a scrutiny that makes him slightly uncomfortable, not that it's unusual. His brother seems to have a way of seeing right through him, unlike everyone else. "You could have told me. About Padme, I mean." When Obi-Wan finally speaks, there's nothing accusing in his tone. Instead, it seems almost resigned.

Anakin doesn't look at him, his eyes aimlessly roaming across the scenery outside. "I know," he agrees, because he does know. He should have – would have – if Palpatine hadn't carefully kept twisting doubts into his mind. But he can't blame it on someone else. In the end, it was his decision to keep their marriage a secret.

"So, why didn't you tell me?" He's simply curious, and maybe a little hurt. Anakin winces at the barely noticeable undertone of pain he picks up. He didn't mean to upset Obi-Wan by keeping it a secret, yet, undeniably, he did.

Anakin knows that he needs to answer honestly, so he gives himself a few minutes to think about it. Obi-Wan doesn't press him for a reply. He just waits, letting Anakin take his time. So, why? Why did he not say anything? Did he think that his brother wouldn't approve? That certainty contributed to his decision. And why? Because Obi-Wan is a perfect Jedi, isn't he?

"I – I thought you'd be disappointed," he finally admits, "That you wouldn't understand."

The silence drags on, forcing Anakin to shift uncomfortably. Obi-Wan's expression is thoughtful when he finally answers, "It's true. I wasn't happy when I realized you had a relationship, but I understood. I can – do – understand what it's like to care for someone. Do you really think you're the only one to have feelings for another?"

Oh. Oh. Is Obi-Wan really saying what Anakin thinks he is? Did he really have feelings for someone once? Curiosity blooms inside him, but Anakin can't bring himself to actually ask. It's not the kind of thing he would ask his brother. A memory worms its way into his mind. Obi-Wan and Satine. The way they acted. Oh yes. The Force tells him he's right. His former master cared – cares – for the Mandalorian duchess, but he didn't marry her. He – he didn't even seem to have considered it.

And now, Anakin remembers when they were protecting Satine, how he'd gently probed to see if he could trust his master with his secret about Padme. He'd been disappointed – left thinking that he couldn't because Obi-Wan would inform the Council. It was his duty.

"I wouldn't have told anyone," Obi-Wan continues, almost as though reading Anakin's mind, "I didn't tell my suspicions. I don't think I'm the only one." He pauses, glancing over at Anakin. "I think some other Council members have their suspicions. Master Yoda for sure."

That floors him. He can understand Obi-Wan keeping it a secret – thinkable though it may be – but he can't imagine the same going for any other Jedi Master, least of all Yoda. But perhaps Yoda did know. It probably doesn't matter anymore. He's already been expelled from the Order.

"Alright," he mumbles at last, unsure what else to say. He feels compelled to tell Obi-Wan about the rest of his concerns. "I wouldn't have thought you'd have feelings for someone, Master," he smirks, "You're too much of a perfect Jedi." He's said it, and from the startled look on Obi-Wan's face, which disappears as quickly as it appears, Anakin knows he didn't expect that admission.